building.’
‘Is SPACE BLASTERS that show you kept talking about last night? The one that is like Star Wars ?’
‘It’s not like Star Wars,’ I scoffed. ‘Everyone knows SPACE BLASTERS is way better.’
‘Cool,’ said Stanley. ‘Maybe after breakfast you could show me an episode or two.’
I was so surprised that I almost dropped my congee spoon.
Just as we finished breakfast, the phone rang. My dad answered it.
‘Oh hello, Bill! How are you?’
I figured Bill was one of Dad’s friends or a neighbour or something and went into the living room to show Stanley my SPACE BLASTERS cards and to explain to him how the SPACE BLASTERS universe works. Finally something that I could explain to him !
‘Camping? Why, that sounds great! I’m sure Sam would love to go,’ said my dad.
I froze in my tracks.
What?
My dad went on, ‘The only thing is, we’ve got his cousin Stanley here with us.’
Whew! Who would have thought I’d be saved by Stanley, of all people?
But then Stanley turned to my mum. ‘I love camping!’ he said. ‘I’m actually a camping pro.’
Oh no.
‘Hold on a second, Bill,’ said my dad. He turned to my mum and Stanley. ‘Would you like to go camping, Stanley?’
‘I’d love to!’ said Stanley.
No, no, no. This was not good.
‘Can I go too?’ Lucy chimed in. ‘I’ll bring Butterbutt!’
‘NO!’ everyone said at the same time. We all knew Butterbutt plus Lucy plus the outdoors was a recipe for disaster.
‘I never get to do anything,’ Lucy grumbled. ‘Butterbutt and I will just camp in the back garden then, won’t we, Butterbutt?’
Butterbutt yowled in reply.
‘Maybe camping isn’t a great idea for any of us,’ I suggested hopefully, but nobody was listening to me.
My dad put the phone back up to his ear. ‘Bill, that would be great. Thanks so much. I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful time.’
He hung up and turned to me with a huge smile.
‘GREAT news! You and Stanley are going camping with Bernard and his dad!’
This was, in fact, NOT great news.
Camping would have been terrible on its own (I remembered everything Bernard had said about bears) – and now I had to go with Stanley!
The only solution was to stop this doomed camping trip before it had even started.
‘I’ll be right back!’ I called as I ran out of the door, hopped on Two-Wheel TUBS9 and pedalled off to fix this disaster.
Bernard lives over the river on the other side of town, but I biked there so fast it was like I was travelling at light speed.
I ran up his driveway and rang the doorbell five times to let Bernard and his dad know that I was there on very urgent business.
Bernard’s dad answered the door. He looked as if he had just come back from a camping trip. During which he’d wrestled and swallowed a bear.
This is actually how he always looks. Bernard’s dad is practically a giant – he has a big moustache, and wears the kinds of clothes that I imagine a lumberjack would wear. And he’s NOT even a lumberjack!
Bernard says he’s a palaeontologist, which I think means he likes to dig up old stuff. I don’t know how that is a real job, but grown-ups are weird. Once I asked him if he’d ever dug up a dinosaur or a mummy, and instead he showed me a rock with a leaf stuck in it and said it was thousands of years old. I was NOT impressed. A really old rock is nowhere near as cool as a dinosaur.
‘Oh hi, Sam! Did your finger get stuck to the doorbell?’ Bernard’s dad grinned. ‘I didn’t think I’d see you till tomorrow morning when we pick you up to go camping. I bet you’re excited – I know I am. It’s going to be great for you kiddos. Getting out into the great outdoors, breathing in all that fresh air, camping under the stars, exploring the wilderness. All that good stuff.’
‘Hi, Mr Wilson,’ I said, ignoring everything he’d just said. ‘Is Bernard home? It’s VERY IMPORTANT.’
‘Is everything all right?’
‘It will be,’ I said seriously.
‘Well, okay then. Come on in.’
I squeezed past Bernard’s dad, ran up the stairs to Bernard’s room and flung open his door. Bernard was reading on his bed.
‘We have got to get out of camping,’ I said breathlessly.
Ten minutes later, I’d explained to Bernard that, actually, he was right, and that camping was a terrible idea.
‘Remember the bears, Bernard? And the poison ivy? And what about wolves? It’s going to be too risky. We’ve got to stop it. We’re the only ones brave enough.’
Bernard frowned. ‘Brave enough to stop the camping trip?’
‘Exactly! Brave enough to SAVE everyone from certain disaster. Like getting lost in the dark woods and eaten by bears. OR WORSE.’
‘Or worse?’
I lowered my voice. ‘Bernard, do you know how dark it is in the woods? VERY DARK. Darker than this.’ I
