the porch. The porch I’m under . . .
I gulp. Can he see me?
I slowly inch backward, farther into the shadows.
He stares at the porch a moment longer, then raises his head to the sky. A deafening howl of frustration erupts from his lungs.
Guess he doesn’t see me.
Blarg turns and stomps his way down Spring Street, away from the ruins of the CVS, sniffing along the ground as he goes. He’s like a bloodhound, and now he has my scent . . .
As I sneak out from beneath the porch, I think, ‘That was close.’
Super way dangerous close.
But I’m getting used to things being super way dangerous close. What can I say? Life after the Monster Apocalypse? It’s scary. And also a lot weird. But that’s OK. I’m a lot weird, too.
Now, time to get back to the tree house . . .
JACK’S HIGH-IN-THE-SKY IMPENETRABLE TREE FORTRESS OF POWER!!!
This is where I live. I know it’s not like a real-deal home with fancy junk like bathrooms and windows, but I think it’s pretty OK.
The tree house used to belong to my scummy little foster brother. Y’know, before . . . But I’ve made some major additions since all the terror went down.
Now, why does a thirteen-year-old need a tree house that’s better-defended than Fort Knox, Stark Tower, and the X-Mansion combined?
Because a MASS of zombie hordes and monster brutes have taken over Wakefield (and, as far as I know, the whole freaking world)!
You probably know what zombies are, but in case you’ve been living in a hole, let me break down the horror –
Classic Zombie
There are other monsters, too.
Like the Dozers – big, hulking brutes that resemble two-legged rhinoceroses.
And the Winged Wretches – flying beasts like mutated pterodactyls.
And there are also the Vine-Thingies – long red vines that are alive. I mean, yeah, I know plants are alive – but these are like alive alive. They turn backyards into treacherous jungles!
Now, keep in mind, these aren’t real-deal scientific names. I’m no monsterologist.
And all that’s just scratching the surface. Almost every day I discover some new thing that is horrific and hair-raising and makes you wanna hurl.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you all this. Y’know, why you’re privy to the thoughts and ramblings of a kid trying to stay alive during the Monster Apocalypse.
I’ll tell you.
It’s ’cause I think it’s important that future people know what it was like in the time after the monsters arrived.
Also, I’d like to be remembered – just in case I get eaten one of these days. Like this . . .
Now, how you remember me – well, only time will tell . . .
Zombie hunter?
Monster slayer?
Late-blooming, slow-developing 13-year-old?
Like I said, before the Monster Apocalypse I was an orphan. Well, I guess I still am an orphan, strictly speaking, but you know what I mean.
The last family I got stuck with – the Robinsons – they were the worst. As soon as the monsters showed up, they just hightailed it.
I wasn’t all that surprised they left me behind. Honestly, I’m kinda sure the only reason they took me in in the first place was because they wanted someone to rake the leaves . . .
Now, if this sounds like I’m trying to make you feel bad for me or something – I’m not. That is not my style. I’m just letting you know the situation. The ins and outs. The deets.
I learned a long time ago that it’s best to try not to worry so much about the junk life shovels on you. Life tries to knock you one – just do your best to duck and keep moving. The way I see it, someone’s always got it worse, right?
I mean, unless you’re the last person on Earth. Then, technically, yeah, no one has it worse.
Ever since the Robinsons peaced out – that’s forty-two days ago, now – I’ve been forced to survive alone in a world of monsters. That’s pretty much the plot of a video game, right?! So I said, y’know what, I’ll treat life like a video game.
And that’s easy, because I’ve always looked at life from a video-game-y angle anyway – picturing people’s stats and powers and imagining obstacles like they’re big boss fights.
You know how in video games there are challenges you complete to earn Trophies and Achievements?
Well, I created my own. I call them . . .
Apocalyptic Success!
I earn them by completing goals and challenges. The riskier the challenge, the greater the Feat. And I always need photographic proof. For example:
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FEAT: Mad Hatter! Steal the hats off five zombies. |
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FEAT: Outrun! Beat a zombie in a footrace. |
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