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There are like 106 Feats still to be completed. And if I start running low, I just create more.
Now – pay attention – here’s where things get serious.
There is one VERY IMPORTANT Feat of Apocalyptic Success that I have not yet completed. It is:
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FEAT: Damsel in Distress Find and rescue love interest, June Del Toro. |
Here’s why this particular Feat of Apocalyptic Success is the ULTIMATE Feat of Apocalyptic Success.
When I first moved to Wakefield, I decided I wanted to be a photojournalist (which is just a fancy word for taking photos of cool, action-y stuff).
When I told the Robinsons, they said, ‘YEAH OK, THAT ’LL HAPPEN!’
So I was like, whatever, I’ll handle this on my own, and I got a gig taking photos for the school paper. That’s where I met June Del Toro . . .
June Del Toro
– The Love Interest –
June was the student editor of the Parker Middle School Gazette, which was perfect, ’cause if we’re both working on the paper, that gives us a reason to chat and get friendly, right?
Turns out, though, June is scary when she’s on the job. But even when she’s ticked-off and super-stressed, she manages to remain ridiculously cute . . .
Now, I should be clear here – I think June kind of hates me.
She told me I was lazy. I respectfully disagree. Not lazy – I was just trying to fulfill my role as photographer: the wild rebel who plays by his own rules, the hip cool guy who’s always being hip and cool non-stop, 24/7, non-stop hip and cool, hip and cool.
June said my photos weren’t capturing the important stories around the school. I guess she just wanted snapshots of bake sales or a pic of Ms Gradwohl’s new whiteboard or something?
See, I don’t go in for a lot of that boring junk. I like action! I like capturing that single moment in time that will never, ever be repeated.
And now? Now my camera is full of once-in-a-lifetime death-defying moments and crazy-close calls!
I mean, just this week . . .
Anyway, even though June maybe kind of hates me, I also maybe probably definitely kind of like her – a lot.
But is she still out there? Is she still alive? Is she still in town?
Here’s what I know . . .
The day the Monster Apocalypse began I know FOR A FACT June was inside our middle school. But I don’t think she’s still there, because I went by a few days ago and I stood outside hollering ‘June!’ and there was no answer.
I’m also VERY SURE that June’s parents did not leave town, because I went to her house last week and their cars were still in the driveway. I broke in and looked around inside the house, too, and it didn’t seem like they’d packed up and taken off on a train or something.
And I REFUSE to believe that June has been zombified.
So that means she MUST be here, in town, somewhere.
So I’m going to find her. And I’m going to rescue her.
There you have it.
That’s my life.
And that’s my goal.
I will not rest until I’m done.
I’m a dorky warrior orphan. I’m a zombie-fighting, monster-slaying tornado of cool (not really, but this is my story, so deal). And I will – Rescue June Del Toro and complete the ULTIMATE Feat of Apocalyptic Success!
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