to Talk to People. I mentioned earlier that I teach a public speaking class at Rutgers University. I've been a professor there a long, long, time. What's interesting is that every year for the past fifteen years, the students stay the same age but I somehow keep getting older. Anyway, there was a time many years ago when I thought the communication skills and confidence levels of the students was good, not great. Now with technology and the obsessive use of cell phones, the communication skills and confidence levels of the students are poor at best. I tell them on the first day of class that they don't know how to talk to people. They think I'm joking, but I'm not. Most of the students I work with today have not been taught and encouraged to introduce themselves, ask questions, start a conversation, solve a problem, and develop rapport without the use of their smartphones. Not smart! A benefit to taking my class is that students get to develop those skills and they're not allowed to use their phones in class. Learning how to talk to people is also one of the great benefits of networking. Once you get better at it, teach your kids! It is one of the best skills you can pass on to them.
Public Speaking Skills. Networking is a form of public speaking. You may not be on stage presenting to an audience and using a slide deck, but you are still expressing yourself, attempting to engage, and establishing rapport, and you should have a strong desire to be listened to and liked – as if you were on stage. This is probably important to you if you're a financial advisor, other type of sales producer, or business owner. In fact, if you become effective at delivering seminars or presentations for your target market, speaking can be an even more effective marketing tool than networking. You'll be showcasing your smarts and your desire to help people, and you'll create an opportunity to offer your services to an audience of people who have bought into you and your message. All of this while creating, developing, and establishing a network of raving fans. How is that for an added benefit to networking?
Friendships. You can never have enough friends. I mentioned the cool boxer guy Dan in the preface. There are so many other friends I never would have made if I wasn't friendly and didn't have what I call a networking mindset. (I'll discuss this later in this chapter.)
Pudge, Keith, Craig, Dave, Sheryl, Gloria, Dennis, Jim, Rich, Jack, Ian, and so many others. I have these friends as a result of being focused on something else at the time – business, school, the gym. I wasn't necessarily focused on meeting new people to create new friendships (networking for social reasons). I've developed so many great friendships through networking events, classes I've taken, classes I've taught, and even the pals I met at the gym. Some were even part of my wedding party. The friends I'm thinking about I've known for many years from when I used to live in Massachusetts. That was a time when I was figuring out a lot of things around my business, continuing education, and so on.
We all have different phases of our lives. That was my Massachusetts phase. I also have a Los Angeles phase, a Long Island phase. I can break down different phases of my life based on where I worked and even where I went to school.
Think of all the people you are (or were) friends with from the different phases of your life. Facebook is great for tracking people down and staying in touch. List their names as I have. Once you start making a list, you'll easily compile ten, twenty, even fifty names. You'll start reminiscing about stories and experiences you had, the good old days. Reach out and reconnect with them today!
How many of those friendships would you have if you didn't play that sport, belong to that gym, take that class, or work that job? How many more friends can you make by having a networking mindset? How many of those friends could lead to more prospects, clients, and centers of influence?
Of course, you shouldn't make friends for the sole purpose of growing your business or financial practice, but friendships and business can go hand in hand if it's appropriate and everyone can benefit in good faith.
Expanded Database. The more you network, the more you expand your database. At least that's how it's supposed to work. That should be an obvious byproduct of networking. You'll end up meeting more people, collecting more business cards, and ultimately having more connections on LinkedIn. Your network is your net worth! That is, if you develop the right network for the right reasons. Sure, your friends and family are part of your network. If they can be instrumental in helping you grow your financial practice or business, great. But your friends and family can only help you for so long, and many won't help you at all. If you can expand your network with your target market or the types of clients you want to work with in mind, it can truly impact your net worth.
New Activities and Hobbies. Networking led me to boxing as a hobby and ultimately a brand that has helped me grow my business. I also got involved with Spartan Races, shows on Netflix that I never would have known about, cigar smoking (well, every so often), and even activities I participate in with my family as a result of some of my interactions with people I've met in different groups. You never know where your next adventure will come from, and if you're an active person you'll have active (and fun) conversations with the people you meet, which will lead to more activity and fun.
What Is Networking Anyway?
Networking is one of those terms that is a bit nebulous and ambiguous. It's a concept you don't learn in school and is not part of MBA programs, although it should absolutely be taught there. In fact, I believe networking should be taught in public schools to children as part of their elementary education. Imagine if third and fourth graders learned how to better connect with teachers, principals, fellow students, and even their friend's parents?
Here's my official definition:
Networking is a proactive approach (although sometimes it can be reactive) to meeting quality people to learn and potentially help them.
Learning, helping – that's it! If you focus on learning from and potentially helping the right people, they will help you back. Networking is a collaborative effort toward helping one another achieve a goal – selling a product or service, landing a job, solving a specific problem, learning about something, volunteering for a cause, or meeting the love of your life.
Networking is much more than simply meeting people, “working the room,” and giving everyone you meet a business card (which you should never do). I'll discuss this in more detail in Chapter 8.
Networking is about meeting the right people (those you like and have some connection to the clients you want to work with), going to the right events or venues (where do these right people hang out?), and saying the right things (intros, questions).
A Networking Mindset
Having a networking mindset is a way of being. If you're open, friendly, approachable, interesting, interested, curious, inquisitive, conversational, considerate, respectful, collaborative, happy, positive, upbeat, honest, helpful, relational, and a true connector, you're operating from a networking mindset.
You must have a networking mindset to be a knockout networker. Otherwise you'll have a difficult time connecting with people and having them trust you at events and in other networking scenarios.
Your mindset (or attitude) drives your behavior. If your behavior is, let's say, a sales mindset, then you'll demonstrate sales behavior when meeting people and networking: asking qualifying questions, pitching products and services, assuming the sale, overcoming objections, and closing.
What would the reaction be of those you meet at a networking event if you demonstrated a sales mindset? They would probably be on the defensive and it would be an awkward conversation. They would more than likely avoid you and the word would get out.
A sales mindset
