the baby.
Surprisingly the conversation had gone quite well. They’d quickly hidden any disappointment that there wasn’t a husband to go along with the baby and offered whatever help she required. When she thought about it, Tori realized her parents were quite excited they were going to have a grandchild.
So far she’d told no one else, although she now decided to call her friends. She still hadn’t decided what to say to Jeff. Tori took another bite of her salad. She’d given up all fattening foods the day of the pregnancy test, opting for only the healthiest things available. When she felt hungry, she munched on saltines or rice cakes. She missed chocolate-chip cookies terribly, but she was determined not to swell up to the size of a hot-air balloon.
“Earth to Tori,” Lauren said.
“Sorry,” Tori said. “My mind has been processing so much lately that sometimes it just shuts down.”
“I was like that when I was pregnant,” Lauren said. “It was as if, in utero, Hailey was absorbing all my brain cells. Justin called me a flake.”
“He didn’t,” Tori said, laughing.
“He did,” Lauren admitted with an expression of mock horror. “I only let him get away with it because he indulged all my strange cravings. I would want fried pickles, for instance, and he’d drive to O’Leary’s and get them. He’d even get me Ted Drewes or Fritz’s concretes at all odd hours. I also craved mashed potatoes and fajitas. The poor guy didn’t have a home-cooked meal for months.”
“I don’t cook very much, and I can’t stand sliced turkey anymore,” Tori said. “I just look at it now and want to puke.” Although the ice cream treats Lauren had just mentioned sounded heavenly.
Lauren’s expression turned quizzical. “I was that way with scrambled eggs. I couldn’t even be in the same room and smell them.”
“I’m fine with eggs,” Tori said, before she caught herself. What was she doing discussing cravings with Lauren, who didn’t even know she was pregnant? Now she had to use the ladies’ room. While she’d heard trips to the bathroom became more frequent as the baby grew, maybe it was also psychological. Or perhaps it was due to the eight glasses of water she consumed every day. “Excuse me a second,” she said, rising and heading to the restroom.
When she returned, Lauren was staring at her strangely. “So why haven’t you told Jeff you’re expecting?” she asked.
“What?” Tori slid into the seat and paused. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Then what would you call it?” Lauren asked. She pushed her blond hair behind her ears. “You forget that both my aunt and my mother work for obstetricians. I can spot a pregnant woman a mile away.”
Tori winced. She should have kept her mouth shut about her cravings.
“So, which doctor are you seeing?” Lauren asked.
“Dr. Hillyer,” Tori admitted, willing herself to keep her eyes open. At this moment she wanted nothing more than to close them and hide from the impending cloud of doom. Dropping through the floor was another option, if the tiles would be gracious enough to open up.
“When are you due?” Lauren asked.
“December thirtieth.”
“And Jeff’s the father and he’s in the dark,” Lauren continued.
“I just had my first visit with the doctor today,” Tori said. She fiddled with the cloth napkin. “I wanted to be sure I was pregnant before causing any undue excitement. You know how many things can go wrong in the first trimester.”
“You have to tell him,” Lauren said. She twirled her wineglass between her fingers, the red liquid swirling. She frowned before adding, “He has a right to know.”
“Yes, I know he does. And I will tell him,” Tori said. “Just not yet. I want to get a few other things sorted out on my end. But I promise that I’ll speak to him. Sometime. It’s better this way.”
“For who? You?” Lauren shook her head. “The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be. At some point he’s going to find out. He’s not stupid. He’s quite able to put two and two together. And can you imagine how he’s going to feel? He’ll want to be involved from the very beginning. You’d be keeping his child away from him.”
“It’s my child, too,” Tori said. “I want things sorted on my end first.”
“Yes, but you should allow him to be involved. He’s like his brother that way. Justin went to my checkups. He visited the hospitals with me. He went to my sono-gram appointments and held my hand when I gave blood. He did the grocery shopping when I was too tired. He even organized and helped fix up the nursery.”
“I can do that on my own,” Tori said stubbornly. “I’ve been taking care of myself for years and I’m sure I’ll be fine doing it pregnant. You and I both know that Jeff is much too busy. He’s out of town as we speak. He’s a nomad. I don’t want that life. I’m not settling for a man who’s never around. He and I talked long ago about our relationship—he wants sex, I want marriage. He’s admitted he’s not ready to settle down and pretty much indicated that if he were, it wouldn’t be with me. He doesn’t see me that way. I’m keeping my baby, but I’m not having it to trap him. The last thing I want is to win Jeff Wright because of his misguided sense of guilt.”
A silence fell for a few moments. “I’m sorry if that sounded harsh,” Tori said. “I have a lot on my plate. I agree he should be involved, but we’re over. I need to be the one to set the parameters of how involved he’s going to be. I’m not going back to the way it was.”
“And I can respect that,” Lauren said. “I believe a child should know both parents even if living together isn’t in the best interests of the parents.”
“In this case, it wouldn’t be good for either of us,” Tori said. “I was moving on with my life when this happened. I’m simply praying that Jeff will understand that we shouldn’t be together.”
“You don’t think he’ll make a good father, do you?” Lauren asked, as if she’d gained sudden insight into the workings of Tori’s mind.
“No, I have to admit I don’t,” Tori acknowledged. “I want what my mother has. I want what you and Justin have. Jeff, well, he’s got two priorities—work and his computer. You thought you were in love with Jeff once. You know exactly how single-minded he can be. It’s like he has tunnel vision.”
“I do know, and what I felt for him was a misguided crush,” Lauren said, clarifying the situation. “Justin quickly straightened me out. Okay, not so quickly. But Jeff and I aren’t compatible. You and he are. All of us can see that. You’re perfect for him.”
“Only because I put up with his nonsense longer than anyone else,” Tori said.
“Perhaps,” Lauren agreed. “But he talks about you all the time. I know he cares about you, and cares deeply.”
“He does care,” Tori said. “That’s never been an issue. But he cares for me the way he used to care for you—in that just-friends sense, only with me sex was added. While we may be great in bed, that’s not enough to make a marriage.”
