“So are you. All grown up and about to marry. Sure you can handle it?”
Could he? All his life he’d wanted something to last forever. He’d planned to find that on his ranch. Yet he felt as if he was mocking the idea of forever with a pretend marriage. Could he handle the falseness of it?
Before he could argue himself out of going along with this farce, he stepped inside.
As they said on the ranch when things got tough, he’d have to cowboy up. Well, he was about to cowboy up like never before.
Louise waited, all ready to wed. Aunt Bea had said she must remain out of sight until everyone had assembled. “Make Nate wait a few minutes,” she’d advised. “It never hurts to make a man think you might have changed your mind.”
“I’m not changing my mind.” But as she waited, she wondered whether Nate would change his.
She drew in a deep breath. The last few hours had been a whirlwind. Together with Missy and Aunt Bea, she had washed the fine china and baked a cake. All necessary for a wedding, Aunt Bea had insisted. They’d dusted and tidied the parlor until it looked fit for company and was likely the cleanest it had been in a couple of decades.
When her aunt had been satisfied, she’d led Louise to her bedroom. “You won’t be able to wear my mother’s wedding dress. Not in your condition.” Aunt Bea had looked Louise up and down.
“You have Grandmother’s wedding dress?” Why hadn’t Aunt Bea offered it when Louise married Gordie?
“I have her veil, too. You can wear that.” Aunt Bea had opened a musty-smelling trunk. The wedding dress lay wrapped in muslin.
Aunt Bea had pulled out the veil. “I’ll press this.” She’d hurried from the room, then retraced her steps. “Why are you standing there? Go get ready.” She’d waved Louise toward her own bedroom, and Louise had hurried down the hall to select the only dress she could fit into that looked even halfway dressy—a gray satin with empire waistline that allowed for her girth.
“Hardly suitable for a bride,” she’d murmured to herself, then realized Aunt Bea had made Louise believe for a moment this was real. Shaking her head, she reminded herself of the facts. She was expecting a baby, she was a recent widow and the marriage was only temporary.
Aunt Bea had hurried in with the fragile veil and affixed it to Louise’s hair. Light as air, with sequins flashing in the sunlight, it reached to Louise’s elbows and made her feel almost pretty.
Missy had stepped into the room. “You’re beautiful,” she’d whispered.
Just a few minutes ago, she’d heard Pastor Manly enter and speak to Aunt Bea. Aunt Bea had giggled. Louise had noted previously how her aunt got girlie and giggly when Pastor Manly was around. If she wasn’t mistaken, Aunt Bea had finally found a man to her liking. Louise chuckled. Maybe Pastor Manly was responsible for Aunt Bea’s sudden interest in all things wedding related.
Now she heard Mrs. Hawkins speaking to Aunt Bea, then, finally, Nate’s voice, full and strong and sure. She closed her eyes. He’d come. She’d been wrong to fear that he might reconsider and ride out without a backward look.
Of course, he could still change his mind. Until the marriage certificate was signed in black ink and blotted dry, she couldn’t be sure he’d actually marry her.
“Everyone is ready.” Missy stood at the door.
“You look lovely. But then you always do.” She took the posy of silk pansies Aunt Bea had unearthed from her trunk, kissed her sister-in-law on the cheek, then tucked her hand into the crook of Missy’s arm and marched into the sitting room.
Nate stood in front of Pastor Manly. His hair, still damp enough to be dark, was slicked down. He wore a white shirt, a gray vest and a black tie.
She moved to Nate’s side. “You look nice,” she whispered, then sneezed. “Sorry, it’s the mothballs.”
He eyed her veil. “Nice touch.” His gaze caught hers, full of something she hadn’t seen in a long time—strength and encouragement. “You’re a beautiful bride.”
Her surprise barely registered before Pastor Manly cleared his throat. “Shall we begin? Before we do, it is incumbent upon me to ask if you are both sure about this very serious step?”
Louise held her breath. Would Nate say no?
“I’m sure. How about you, Louise?” he said.
“I’m sure.” The words wheezed out her tight throat.
Pastor Manly nodded and opened a black book. Only a few words registered in her brain—words of accusation. “An honorable estate not to be entered into lightly...but in the fear of God.”
What they were doing was wrong in the eyes of God. Would He ever forgive her? Well, it wasn’t as if He’d sent any other way of escaping Vic. And she must protect her baby at all costs.
“Face each other and hold hands. Repeat after me,” the pastor said. “In the name of God, I, Nathaniel Hawkins—”
Nate gripped her hand so hard her knuckles cracked. His eyes were dimmed by the veil over her face, yet not enough to hide his distress. His throat worked.
She dare not breathe. Oh, please don’t refuse. I need this. I promise I won’t tie you to the vows.
“I, Nate Hawkins, take you, Louise Williams Porter, to be my wife.”
She felt herself relax a bit. Still, had anyone else noticed his refusal to speak God’s name in his vows? She didn’t dare look at Pastor Manly, but the silence in the room echoed with the ticking of Aunt Bea’s mantel clock.
“Very well, then.” Pastor Manly continued, “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”
Nate got as far as “until death do us part” and stopped.
“This is my solemn vow,” the pastor prompted.
“Louise will have to take my word for it,” Nate said.
“This is highly irregular, but I suppose it’s acceptable.” The pastor turned to Louise. “Repeat after me—”
“Excuse me, I want my vows to be the same as Nate’s.” She, too, would prefer to leave God’s name out of them.
Pastor Manly gave them each a hard look. For a moment, Louise feared he would refuse to marry them under the circumstances. Aunt Bea leaned forward. “It’s still legal, isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes.” He proceeded. “Rings?”
Nate shook his head. “Didn’t have time.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? Then all you have to do is sign the papers.” They did so, and after Aunt Bea and Mrs. Hawkins added their signatures, Reverend Manly concluded the ceremony. “I now
