Brains Confounded by the Ode of Abū Shādūf Expounded. Yūsuf al-Shirbīnī
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١ بي: ينشي.
Thus we declare:
yaqūlu (“Abū Shādūf says”)—i.e., he intends to initiate speech (qawl) external to himself that will contain an explanation of his state and evidence of the accidents of Time with which he was inflicted, and the occasions for woe and grief with which he was inflicted. The word qawl has paradigms and etymologies. The paradigm is qāla, yaqūlu, qawlan, and maqālatan, to which may be added qullatan (“water pitcher”)41 and qaylūlatan (“midday snooze”).42 It is derived from qaylūlah or from qulal (“water pitchers”) or from aqwāl (“sayings”) or from qālū (“they said”) or qulnā (“we said”).43
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11.1.3وإنّما زدت هذه المصادر الفشرويّة وهذه الاشتقاقات الهباليّة إلّا لنبني عليها ما سأذكره لك (ممّا اتّفق لي مع بعض من يدّعي العلم وهو جاهل) وما ذاك إلّا أنّي لمّا توجّهت إلى الحجّ إلى بيت الله الحرام سنة أربعة وسبعين وألف وبلغت بَنْدَر القُصَيْر أنتظر خروج السفن فجلست أيّامًا بزاوية على البحر المالح أَعِظُ الناس فبينما أنا ذات يوم في هذا المكان أقرأ فيه * وأبيّن للناس الكلام ومعانيه * وأنا في هيئة تشين النظر * وفي أُهْبة ذهاب وسفر * وبهللة وهبال * وهلفطة ومقال * إذ أقبل عليّ بلا محَاله * رجل يشبه دائرة الهاله * طويل هبيل * فظّ ثقيل * له عمّة كالهَيُولى في العظم * وطيلسان نُسِجَ من صوف الغنم * ثمّ جلس يريد الضرر * ونظر إليّ شذر * فظهر لي منه الشرّ والجدال * ومنتظر منّي متى قلت قال * وكان الأمر كما ذكرت * وما إليه بهذا المعنى أشرت * فابتدأت في الكلام * وقلت قال النبيّ عليه الصلاة والسلام * فعند ذلك قال لي بلفظ كثيف * ما معنى قال في التصريف * فلمّا سمعت سؤاله * تحقّقت جهله وهباله * وعلمت أنّه خالي من العلوم * وجاهل بالمنطوق والمفهوم * فقلت له إنّ قال يتصرّف منه أسماء وأفعال * وهي قال يقول قولًا ومقالة وقلّة وقَيْلولة على الكمال * وإن أردت جعلت لك بيقين * تصريف هذه الستّة ستًّا وثلاثين * فقال لي وهذا التصريف في أيّ متن من المتون * فقلت له في ديوان ابن سودون * فركن إلى قولي على جهل منه وعمى * فعرفت أنّه لا يدري الاسم ولا المسمّى * ثمّ انقاد إليّ بعد الدعوى والهيس * انقياد الغنم للتيس * وامتثل الأمر في رواحه ومقبله * حتّى مضى إلى حال سبيله *
I have added these facetious paradigms and silly etymologies simply as a point of departure for the account that I shall relate to you of an encounter I once had with one of those persons who claim learning while in fact they are ignorant, to wit that, when I went on pilgrimage to God’s Holy House44 in the year 107445 and had reached the port of al-Quṣayr and was waiting there for the ships to leave, I stayed for a few days at a hostel on the sea, preaching to the people. One day, as I was reciting the Qurʾan there, explaining the words and their meanings to the people to make them clear, a sorry sight to see, accoutered for travel by sea, engaged in buffoonery and deliration, and cant and speechification,46 there came toward me—let no one doubt my say-so!—a man round as a halo, tall and cretinous, gross and hebetudinous, with a turban huge as the Primordial Lump, and a woolen shawl draped over his chump. Clearly up to no good, he sat himself down and fixed me with a frown, while his determination to involve me in trouble and contention plainly could be read, since he could barely wait for me to say the word “Said . . .” And so it was as I’ve described, and in the manner that I’ve implied, for no sooner had I begun to give my lesson, and declared, “Said the Prophet, upon him peace and benison . . .” than he asked me in tones unrefined, “What’s the meaning of ‘said’ when it’s declined?” When I heard his query, and understood his ignorance and inanity, I realized that in learning he was so far from an adept as to be quite unaware of the difference between word and concept. So I said to him, “From qāl both nouns and verbs we may decline: qāla, yaqūlu, qawlan, and maqālatan or qullatan or qaylūlatan in fine—and if you like I’ll make you up, for sure, in addition to these six, thirty more!” Said he to me, “In what standard text is this declension shown?” Said I, “In the collected works of Ibn Sūdūn!” Then he accepted my words—he was that ignorant and benighted—and I realized that he couldn’t tell the name from the thing cited. Thenceforth, after all the pretension and bluster, he followed me as a sheep its master, and submitted in his comings and goings to my sway, till he departed and went his way.
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11.1.4(فإن قيل) لأيّ شيء خلبطتَ على هذا السائل في هذه المصادر والاشتقاقات * ووسّعت عليه في هذه الأمور الهباليّات * كنت تقتصر على ما قالوه في كتب الصرف * ولا تجرف الكلام جرف * (قلنا الجواب) نعم كان ينبغي هذا الكلام * ولكن مع من يدري العلم بالتمام * وأمّا الجاهل البليد * والفظّ العنيد * فليس له إلّا ما يناسب جهله من دشّ الكلام * والعجرفة فيما يليق بذلك المقام * فكان ما سبق من الجواب وحاله * مناسب لسؤاله وهباله * فاتّضح الإشكال * عن وجه هذا الهبال *
If it be said, “How come you set out to confuse this inquirer with such paradigms and etymologies, and you gave him such good measure of imbecilities, when you should have stuck to what they’d say in a grammar book, instead of ladling out such gobbledygook?” we reply, “All well and good, but that only goes for those who understand scholarship as one should. As for the dumb ignoramus, who’s gross and pertinacious, his ignorance calls for