stick the broken leg of this stool into you if you are not satisfied yet.' Thereupon he held his tongue, and went away with a black eye, accompanied by his noble companions. They mounted their horses and rode out of the gate. But as soon as they considered themselves safe, then they began to rail; they nicknamed me a hundred times a trade-fallen ostler. One of them tried to fire his pistol, but could not succeed; doubtless because there was neither cock nor trigger to the lock. At last they perceived that I was coming after them with half-a-dozen peasants; so they, hastened off, and sent me, about a fortnight afterwards, all three at the same time, a challenge, in the belief that I should never have the courage to meet them sword in hand in the open field; but they found themselves much mistaken.
"Being fearful, however, that the whole swarm of surrounding Krippenreiters would fall upon me, and unite in giving me a good drubbing, I took with me two troopers who were then in the country, and in the first pass gave V. such a good cut over the shoulder, that his sword fell from his hand, which he could no longer use. W. therefore lost at once all courage, so that on my second fight he was fain to make peace. No one conducted himself better than Michael von S., whom I had before considered the most faint-hearted. He fought well enough, till at last this threefold duel ended thus: the two companions were reconciled to me, but Vogelbach stipulated to have two more passes on horseback as soon as his arm should be healed, which, nevertheless, he has not carried out up to the present day.
"Thus I obtained rest from the brawls of 'Krippenreiters,' though there was no diminution of their visits; nevertheless, I soon experienced a much greater and more costly annoyance. My vendor had not only cheated me a good deal in the sale itself, but had concealed from me also an important redeemable interest; besides which, he had not given up all that was set down in the inventory. So I was obliged to bring a complaint against him before the government, and to employ an advocate. It was long beginning I was little disposed to do so; it was my wish to obtain the daughter of some good citizen with a few thousand thalers, and thereby to improve my housekeeping. But the false friend who over-persuaded me to the purchase, advised me to marry no one that was not of the old nobility, and also in the neighbourhood. 'In the first place,' said he, 'it is very uncertain whether the gentleman will meet with a rich party in Breslau, although he has got ennobled. But further, such city ladies as these have so little knowledge of country housekeeping that they do not even know a cow or an ox, nor what cheese or curds are. But the gentleman's household requires a mistress who has been brought up to it from her youth; such a marriage also is the only means of forming his children in time into country nobles.' With this view he proposed a lady of the neighbourhood, and offered himself to be the wooer. 'She is pretty, a good housekeeper, has some fortune, and is of old family; it will be impossible for the gentleman to find all that together in the city.' When I asked him what was the extent of her means, he boasted that it was 2000 thalers. I certainly doubted this, even then, as it was so large a marriage dower for the country, that any baron would have snapped at it; yet I let myself be persuaded at last, as the lady was not ill-educated, and my new nobility had driven all sound sense out of my brain. I soon found that the above pretended 2000 thalers sank to 400; even these were pending in a doubtful lawsuit, which would scarcely leave as much as would amount to the costs incurred, or as would pay for nuptials suitable to my position. Nevertheless, in the beginning I loved her on account of her good looks, and everything was knocked out of my head. As she had brought with her, however, no jewels, clothes, or other female ornaments, I inquired once of my lady mother-in-law where the chains, rings, and two taffeta dresses were, in which I had found my love dressed when I wooed her. But she answered me with a jeering smile, that if I had got her only in her shift I ought to be content, and feel thankful that such a noble family had demeaned itself so far as to give me their child, and they would still have trouble enough to wipe off this disgrace among their friends, who would decidedly not have consented to this marriage. But as concerned the dresses and ornaments, I must know that they had other daughters to think of and provide for. It was, besides, the custom in the country to procure a dress and ornaments which might do for two or three daughters; when one of them was smartly attired, it was the duty of the others to attend to the housekeeping, or if guests arrived, to feign illness, and content themselves with bed, till it was their turn. Therefore I must be satisfied, and if I would not let my wife appear so as to be a disgrace to me, I should, out of my own means, provide her with dress and ornaments befitting a noble lady. Thus all my ready money went, especially as the wedding had cost me much, for almost the whole province, with their wives, children, servants, and horses, fastened themselves upon me for a fortnight, and I could not rid myself of them so long as anything was to be found in the kitchen and cellar. Also what I procured for my wife was never rich and costly enough to please her and her mother; they always found some deficiency, and wished to have everything more perfect.
"Nevertheless, I controlled myself, and would have minded no expense, if I had only gained the smallest thanks for it; but what most pained me, was to feel that neither my wife nor any of her friends held me in the slightest consideration. Moreover my dear mother-in-law was a thoroughly malicious, proud, false woman, and as, according to the root of the tree, so are the leaves, her daughter followed in her footsteps. And as on this account I could no longer be fond of her, my groom often met with more friendly looks than I did. I had no reason to complain of her relatives not visiting me, for they did so oftener than I liked, and they did their best to consume all that they found. They thought that the devil would take them if they called me brother-in-law or uncle; the brotherhood must be considered all allegorical, and my mother-in-law took care, that the word 'son' should not escape her lips, especially if strangers were present. Never were they so comfortably together as when I was absent at Breslau or elsewhere; then they had the best opportunity to make themselves jolly at my expense, and they did so with some wine of which I kept three or four bottles in my cellaret for myself and my wife, and I found it quite empty when I returned home. Yet even that might have passed, if they had only not taken from me the corn from the ground, nay, even the cows and calves without my knowledge, and conveyed them away secretly for their noble relatives. But he who receives four thalers, and has to spend six, has no reason to care for a purse. So that I could easily calculate that in a short time I should become as good a Krippenreiter as my neighbours.
"But it pleased God to deliver me from this danger by the death of my beloved, who died in childbirth. Even under these circumstances I had to undergo a severe storm from my vexatious noble mother-in-law. She filled heaven and earth with her lamentations over the decease of her daughter, and wished to persuade all the world that the good woman had died of grief, that she had not married suitably to her position, and that it had been her (the mother-in-law's) fault I bore with her folly for a time, in hopes that the game would some day come to an end; but at last she broke out still further, and desired to have the ornaments and dresses I had bought for her daughter, and whatever else she had in her keeping, for another daughter. I threw at her feet some rags she had brought with her, and caused the corpse to be placed in a respectable coffin in the family vault, without inviting the mother-in-law or any other relations. I then determined to sell the property at the first good opportunity and betake myself again to the city.
"Sitting one evening thoughtfully at the window, looking at the servant doing his work, I accidentally observed that some one was at the gate defending himself with naked sword against the assault of the dog. I called out to the servant to hold back the dog, whereupon I was accosted by a well-dressed man with many compliments. 'My lord uncle,' he said, 'will not take it amiss if, according to knightly fashion, I do myself the honour of calling on you for a night's lodging in order to have the honour of making your acquaintance.' 'Not in the least,' I replied, 'if the noble gentleman will please to be satisfied.' I invited him in, and as the cavalier was so free with his cousinship, I could easily perceive that he was not of the neighbourhood. He soon let me know that he was a free knight of the Empire, from Alsace, and had been so ruined by the French, that he preferred turning his back upon his burnt property to submitting to their sway; now he was going to the Imperial court to seek military service. I could perceive the emptiness of this braggadocio from his knowing none of the noble families with whom I had made acquaintance in a former residence in Alsace. Therefore I dealt cautiously with the fellow, and the good lord and brother of the Imperial nobility was obliged to be satisfied with a straw mattress and pillow
