have our feelins: We aint mere calculatin machines.
SARTORIUS [revolted] Do you think, Lickcheese, that my daughter is to be made part of a money bargain between you and these gentlemen?
LICKCHEESE Oh come, Sartorius: Dont talk as if you was the only father in the world. I have a daughter too; and my feelins in that matter is just as fine as yours. I propose nothing but what is for Miss Blanche’s advantage and Dr Trench’s.
COKANE Lickcheese expresses himself roughly, Mr Sartorius; but his is a sterling nature; and what he says is to the point. If Miss Sartorius can really bring herself to care for Harry, I am far from desiring to stand in the way of such an arrangement.
TRENCH Why, what have you got to do with it?
LICKCHEESE Easy, Dr Trench, easy. We want your opinion. Are you still on for marrying Miss Blanche if she’s agreeable?
TRENCH [shortly] I dont know that I am. [Sartorius rises indignantly.]
LICKCHEESE Easy one moment, Mr Sartorius. [To Trench:] Come, Dr Trench: You say you dont know that you are. But do you know that you aint? Thats what we want to know.
TRENCH [sulkily] I wont have the relations between Miss Sartorius and myself made part of a bargain. [He rises to leave the table.]
LICKCHEESE [rising] Thats enough: A gentleman could say no less. [Insinuatingly] Now, would you mind me and Cokane and the guvnor steppin into the study to arrange about the lease to the North Thames Iced Mutton Company?
TRENCH Oh, I dont mind. I’m going home. Theres nothing else to say.
LICKCHEESE No, dont go. Only just a minute: me and Cokane will be back in no time to see you home. Youll wait for us, wont you? theres a good fellow!
TRENCH Well, if you wish, yes.
LICKCHEESE [cheerily] Didnt I know you would!
SARTORIUS [at the study door, to Cokane] After you, sir. [Cokane bows formally and goes into the study.]
LICKCHEESE [at the door, aside to Sartorius] You never ad such a managin man as me, Sartorius. [He goes into the study chuckling, followed by Sartorius.]
[Trench, left alone, looks round carefully and listens a moment. Then he goes on tiptoe to the piano and leans upon it with folded arms, gazing at Blanche’s portrait. Blanche herself appears presently at the study door. When she sees how he is occupied, she closes it softly and steals over to him, watching him intently. He rises from his leaning attitude, and takes the portrait from the easel, holding it out before him at arms length; then, taking a second look round to reassure himself that nobcdy is watching him, finds Blanche close upon him. He drops the portrait and stares at her without the least presence of mind.]
BLANCHE [shrewishly] Well? So you have come back here. You have had the meanness to come into this house again. [He flushes and retreats a step. She follows him up remorselessly.] What a poor spirited creature you must be! Why dont you go?
[Red and wincing, he starts huffily to get his hat from the table; but when he turns to the door with it she deliberately gets in his way, so that he has to stop.] I dont want you to stay. [For a moment they stand face to face, quite close to one another, she provocative, taunting, half defying, half inviting him to advance, in a flush of undisguised animal excitement. It suddenly flashes on him that all this ferocity is erotic that she is making love to him. His eye lights up: a cunning expression comes into the corners of his mouth: With a heavy assumption of indifference he walks straight back to his chair, and plants himself in it with his arms folded. She comes down the room after him.]
Blanche But I forgot: You have found that there is some money to be made here. Lickcheese told you. You, who were so disinterested, so independent, that you could not accept anything from my father! [At the end of every sentence she waits to see what execution she has done.] I suppose you will try to persuade me that you have come down here on a great philanthropic enterprise to befriend the poor by having those houses rebuilt, eh? [Trench maintains his attitude and makes no sign.] Yes: when my father makes you do it. And when Lickcheese has discovered some way of making it profitable. Oh, I know papa; and I know you. And for the sake of that, you come back here into the house where you were refused, ordered out. [Trench’s face darkens: her eyes gleam as she sees it.] Aha! you remember that. You know it’s true: You cant deny it. [She sits down, and softens her tone a little as she affects to pity him.] Ah, let me tell you that you cut a poor figure; a very, very poor figure, Harry. [At the word “Harry” he relaxes the fold of his arms; and a faint grin of anticipated victory appears on his face.] And you, too, a gentleman! So highly connected! With such distinguished relations! So particular as to where your money comes from! I wonder at you. I really wonder at you. I should have thought that if your family brought you nothing else, it might at least have brought you some sense of personal dignity. Perhaps you think you look dignified at present, eh? [No reply.] Well, I can assure you that you dont: You look most ridiculous as foolish as a man could look. You dont know what to say; and you dont know what to do. But after all, I really dont see what anyone could say in defence of such conduct. [He looks straight in front of him, and purses up his lips as if whistling. This annoys her; and she becomes affectedly polite.] I am afraid I am in your way, Dr Trench. [She rises.] I shall not intrude on you any longer. You seem so perfectly at home that I need make no apology for leaving you to yourself. [She makes a feint of going to the door; but he does not budge; and she returns and comes behind his chair.] Harry. [He does not turn. She comes a step nearer.] Harry : I want you to answer me a question. [Earnestly, stooping over him] Look me in the face. [No reply.] Do you hear? [Putting her hand on his shoulder] Look me in the face. [He still stares straight in front of him. She suddenly kneels down beside him with her breast against his right shoulder, and, taking his face in her hands, twists it sharply towards her.] Harry: what were you doing with my photograph just now, when you thought you were alone? [His face writhes as he tries hard not to smile. She flings her arms round him, and crushes him in an ecstatic embrace as she adds, with furious tenderness:] How dare you touch anything belonging to me? [The study door opens and voices are heard.]
TRENCH I hear some one coming. [She regains her chair with a bound, and pushes it back as far as possible. Cokane, Lickcheese and Sartorius come from the study. Sartorius and Lickcheese come to Trench. Cokane crosses to Blanche in his most killing manner.]
COKANE How do you do, Miss Sartorius? Nice weather for the return of l’enfant prodigue, eh?
BLANCHE Capital, Mr Cokane. So glad to see you. [She gives him her hand, which he kisses with gallantry.]
LICKCHEESE [on Trench’s left, in a low voice] Any noos for us, Dr Trench?
TRENCH [to Sartorius, on his right] I’ll stand in, compensation or no compensation. [He shakes Sartorius’ s hand. The parlor maid has just appeared at the door.]
BLANCHE Supper is ready, papa.
COKANE Allow me.
[Exeunt omnes: Blanche on Cokane’s arm; Lickcheese jocosely taking Sartorius on one arm, and Trench on the other.]
The Philanderer (1898)
