Who?
Max affects to puzzle very briefly over her answer.
MAX I meant Ba’l. Do you say ‘Basel’? I say Ba’l.
CHARLOTTE Oh … yes. I say Basel.
MAX (Lilts) ‘Let’s call the whole thing off…’
Charlotte studies him briefly, quizzically.
CHARLOTTE Fancy a drink?
She notes the glass, the bottle, and his behaviour.
(Pointedly, but affectionately) Another drink?
He smiles at her, empties his glass and holds it up for her. She takes the glass, finds a second glass, pours wine into both glasses and gives Max his own glass.
MAX How’s old Basel, then? Keeping fit?
CHARLOTTE Are you a tiny bit sloshed?
MAX Certainly.
CHARLOTTE I didn’t go to Basel.
Max is discreetly but definitely interested by that.
MAX No? Where did you go, then?
CHARLOTTE Geneva.
Max is surprised. He cackles.
MAX Geneva! (He drinks from his glass.) How’s old Geneva, then? Franc doing well?
CHARLOTTE Who?
He affects surprise.
MAX The Swiss franc. Is it doing well?
CHARLOTTE Are you all right?
MAX Absolutely.
CHARLOTTE How have you got on?
MAX Not bad. My best was eleven pairs on the bottom row, but I ran out of cards.
CHARLOTTE What about the thing you were working on? … What is it?
MAX An hotel.
CHARLOTTE Yes. You were two elevators short.
MAX I’ve cracked it.
CHARLOTTE Good.
MAX I’m turning the whole place on its side and making it a bungalow. I still have a problem with the rooftop pool. As far as I can see, all the water is going to fall into the shallow end. How’s the lake, by the way?
CHARLOTTE What lake?
He affects surprise.
MAX Lake Geneva. You haven’t been to Loch Ness, have you? Lake Geneva. It is at Geneva? It must be. They wouldn’t call it Lake Geneva if it was at Ba’l or Basel. They’d call it Lake Ba’l or Basel. You know the Swiss. Utterly reliable. And they’ve done it without going digital, that’s what I admire so much. They know it’s all a snare and a delusion. I can remember digitals when they first came out. You had to give your wrist a vigorous shake like bringing down a thermometer, and the only place you could buy one was Tokyo. But it looked all over for the fifteen-jewelled movement. Men ran through the market place shouting, ‘The cog is dead.’ But still the Swiss didn’t panic. In fact, they made a few digitals themselves, as a feint to draw the Japanese further into the mire, and got on with numbering the bank accounts. And now you see how the Japs are desperately putting hands on their digital watches. It’s yodelling in the dark. They can yodel till the cows come home. The days of the digitals are numbered. The metaphor is built into them like a self-destruct mechanism. Mark my words, I was right about the skateboard, I was right about nouvelle cuisine, and I’ll be proved right about the digital watch. Digitals have got no class, you see. They’re science and technology. Makes nonsense of a decent pair of cufflinks, as the Swiss are the first to understand. Good sale?
Charlotte stares at him.
CHARLOTTE What?
He affects surprise.
MAX Good sale. Was the sale good? The sale in Geneva, how was it? Did it go well in Geneva, the sale?
CHARLOTTE What’s the matter?
MAX I’m showing an interest in your work. I thought you liked me showing an interest in your work. My showing. Save the gerund and screw the whale. Yes, I’m sure you do. I remember how cross you got when I said to someone, ‘My wife works for Sotheby’s or Christie’s, I forget which.’ You misjudged me, as it happens. You thought I was being smart at your expense. In fact, I had forgotten. How’s old Christie, by the way? (Strikes his forehead.) There I go. How’s old Sothers, by the way? Happy with the Geneva sale, I trust?
Charlotte puts her glass down and moves to stand facing him.
CHARLOTTE (To call a halt) All right.
MAX Just all right? Well, that’s the bloody Swiss for you. Conservative, you see. The Japs could show them a thing or two. They’d have a whaling fleet in Lake Geneva by now. How’s the skiing, by the way? Plenty of snow?
CHARLOTTE Stop it—stop it—stop it. What have I done?
MAX You forgot your passport.
CHARLOTTE I did what?
MAX You went to Switzerland without your passport.
CHARLOTTE What makes you think that?
MAX I found it in your recipe drawer.
CHARLOTTE (Quietly) Jesus God.
MAX Quite.
Charlotte moves away and looks a him with some curiosity.
CHARLOTTE What were you looking for?
MAX Your passport.
CHARLOTTE It’s about the last place I would have looked.
MAX It was.
CHARLOTTE Why were you looking for it?
MAX I didn’t know it was going to be your passport. If you see what I mean.
CHARLOTTE I think I do. You go through my things when I’m away? (Pause. Puzzled.) Why?
MAX
