nothing. You should have just put it in your handbag. We’d still be an ideal couple. So to speak.
CHARLOTTE Wouldn’t you have checked to see if it had been stamped?
MAX That’s a very good point. I notice that you never went to Amsterdam when you went to Amsterdam. I must say I take my hat off to you, coming home with Rembrandt place mats for your mother. It’s those little touches that lift adultery out of the moral arena and make it a matter of style.
CHARLOTTE I wouldn’t go on, if I were you.
MAX Rembrandt place mats! I wonder who’s got the originals. Some Arab, is it? ‘Dinner’s ready, Abdul, put the Rembrandts on the table.’
CHARLOTTE It’s like when we were burgled. The same violation. Worse.
MAX I’m not a burglar. I’m your husband.
CHARLOTTE As I said. Worse.
MAX Well, I’m sorry. I think I just apologized for finding out that you’ve deceived me. Yes, I did. How does she do it?
She moves away, to leave the room.
Are you going somewhere?
CHARLOTTE I’m going to bed.
MAX Aren’t you going to tell me who it is?
CHARLOTTE Who what is?
MAX Your lover, lover.
CHARLOTTE Which lover?
MAX I assumed there’d only be the one.
CHARLOTTE Did you?
MAX Well, do you see them separately or both together? Sorry, that’s not fair. Well, tell you what, nod your head if it’s separately.
She looks at him.
Heavens. If you have an opening free, I’m not doing much at the moment. Or is the position taken? It is only two, is it? Nod your head.
She looks at him.
Golly, you are a dark horse. How do they all three get away at the same time? Do they work together, like the Marx Brothers? I’m not upsetting you, I hope?
CHARLOTTE You underestimate me.
MAX (Interested) Do I? A string quartet, you mean? That sort of thing? (He ponders that for a moment.) What does the fourth one do?
She raises her hand.
Got it. Plays by himself. You can slap me if you like. I won’t slap you back. I abhor cliché. It’s one of the things that has kept me faithful.
Charlotte returns to the hall and reappears wearing her topcoat.
CHARLOTTE If you don’t mind, I think I will go out after all.
She moves to close the door behind her.
MAX You’ve forgotten your suitcase.
Pause. She comes back and picks up her suitcase. She takes the case to the door.
CHARLOTTE I’m sorry if you’ve had a bad time. But you’ve done everything wrong. There’s a right thing to say if you can think what it is.
She waits a moment while Max thinks.
MAX Is it anyone I know?
CHARLOTTE You aren’t anyone I know.
She goes out, closing the door, and then the front door is heard opening and closing. Max remains seated. After a moment he reaches down for the airport bag, puts it back on his lap and looks inside it. He starts to laugh. He withdraws from the bag a miniature Alp in a glass bowl. He gives the bowl a shake and creates a snowstorm within it. Then the snowstorm envelops the stage. Music—a pop record—makes a bridge into the next scene.
SCENE II
HENRY, Charlotte, Max and ANNIE.
Henry is amiable but can take care of himself. Charlotte is less amiable and can take even better care of herself. Max is nice, seldom assertive, conciliatory. Annie is very much like the woman whom Charlotte has ceased to be.
A living-room. A record player and shelves of records. Sunday newspapers.
The music is coming from the record player.
Henry, with several record sleeves around him, is searching for a particular piece of music.
There are doors to hall, kitchen, bedroom. Charlotte enters barefoot, wearing Henry’s dressing-gown which is too big for her. She is unkempt from sleep and seems generally disordered.
Henry looks up briefly.
HENRY Hello.
Charlotte moves forward without answering, sits down and looks around in a hopeless way.
CHARLOTTE Oh, God.
HENRY I thought you’d rather lie in. Do you want some coffee?
CHARLOTTE I don’t know. (Possibly referring to the litter of record sleeves, wanly.) What a mess.
HENRY Don’t worry … don’t worry …
Henry continues to search among the records.
CHARLOTTE I think I’ll just stay in bed.
HENRY Actually, I phoned Max.
CHARLOTTE What? Why?
HENRY He was on my conscience. He’s coming round.
CHARLOTTE (Quite strongly) I don’t want to see him.
HENRY Sorry.
CHARLOTTE Honestly, Henry.
HENRY Hang on—I think I’ve found it.
He removes the pop record, which might have come to its natural end by now, from the record player and puts a different record on. Meanwhile—
CHARLOTTE Are you still doing your list?
HENRY Mmm.
CHARLOTTE Have you got a favourite book?
HENRY
