give Grandpa the present you got for him?
DORIS: You didn’t have to make such a scene, now I won’t get enough to eat.
(Becky takes a small wrapped present out of her bag and gives it to Cole.)
NICK: Oh for God’s sake.
KELLY: Mom, I just think that Nick / was trying—
DORIS: Oh honey don’t call me that, I told you, I don’t like it.
(Cole opens the present.)
BECKY: It’s a Chia. It’s shaped like a head.
COLE: I don’t understand.
TAMMY: Now you have something to take care of!
(Becky pulls out a book, starts reading.)
KELLY (To Doris): So did Nick tell you / the good news?
TAMMY: Will you put that away please?
DORIS: / Good news? Oh my, are you . . .?
BECKY: No.
NICK: Oh God no, I’m—. / It’s a job thing, I got a promotion.
TAMMY: It’s Grandpa’s birthday.
DORIS: / Oh. Well that’s good.
BECKY: Yay.
(Eddie enters, goes to Doris, Nick, and Kelly. Max reenters with a large carafe of rosé wine, goes to Tammy.)
EDDIE: Sorry, guys, one of our deep fryers is being weird, and / our cook doesn’t—
DORIS: / We understand.
MAX (To Cole and Tammy): Would you guys like to try a sample?
TAMMY: Oh—sure!
(Max pours Tammy a taste of wine. Eddie sits with Doris, Nick, and Kelly.)
MAX: / Anything free is good, right? Heh. It’s a white zinfandel. It’s bright and flavorful. How was the food, by the way?
EDDIE: It’s just—it’s really great to have you guys here. It’s been way too long, we’re finally all in the same room / together—
COLE: / The meat in my lasagna was strange.
DORIS: How much is the discount?
BECKY: / Well you know ground beef has a ton of feces in it.
EDDIE: Oh, it’s—it’s fifty percent, it’s half off—
COLE (To Becky): / Feces?
NICK: She thinks you can / get it for free.
TAMMY: Okay, Becky.
KELLY (To Nick): Honey.
(Isabelle enters, goes to Eddie.)
DORIS: Well. / He’s the manager.
ISABELLE: Eddie, Theo is really freaking out about / the fryer in there—
EDDIE: / Okay, thanks, just a minute.
(Isabelle exits.)
BECKY: I read all about it, there’s like a ton of feces in ground beef / because the meat industry doesn’t even—
DORIS: Fifty percent is fine, Eddie, thank you.
TAMMY: / Becky for the love of God.
EDDIE: I mean I can probably get you some free appetizers if you guys want?
MAX (Referring to the wine): / Do you—want more?
EDDIE: We’ve got sauces for breadsticks, this mozzarella fondue thingy—
TAMMY: / Yes!
DORIS: Oh I’m sorry that all just sounds so disgusting.
(Isabelle rushes in, waves at Eddie. Max pours Tammy a full glass.)
ISABELLE: Eddie.
EDDIE (To Nick, Kelly, and Doris): Lemme just take care of this, and I’ll / be right back—
DORIS: Eddie, it’s fine.
NICK: Go back to work, buddy, don’t worry about it.
(Eddie exits with Isabelle. Max finishes pouring the wine and exits. Tammy notices Nick from across the room.)
TAMMY: Nicky?!
(Nick looks up.)
NICK: Oh, God. Tammy?
(Tammy gets up with her wine, approaching Nick.)
TAMMY: How are you?! It’s been forever!
NICK: Yeah, we’re just here for a couple days.
TAMMY: Is this your wife?!
KELLY: I’m Kelly.
TAMMY: She’s so cute! Nicky, she’s so cute!
DORIS: You and Nicky used to date, didn’t you?
COLE (To Becky): / What’s that you were saying about the feces in the ground beef?
DORIS: You were the one with the bangs.
TAMMY: Yes!
DORIS: They were so strange.
TAMMY: / I always admired you for leaving. I doubt Troy and I are ever gonna get outta here. What do you do now?
BECKY (Pulling out her phone): Seriously, the meat industry is horrible, they don’t even care. I saw a video on the internet about how they slaughter cows, do you want to see it?
NICK: / I’m in real estate, in Saint Paul.
COLE: Yes.
TAMMY (Louder than she intends): Holy crap! Too bad for me, I could’ve been— . . .!
(Tammy stops herself, takes a drink of wine.)
It’s so good to see you!
(Becky shows a video on her phone to Cole. Troy reenters with some dirty dishes, sees Tammy with the wine, and goes to her.)
TROY: Tammy, what are you doing?
TAMMY: It was—. It’s just a sample, he offered me a— . . .
(Short pause. Troy turns away.)
TROY
