Hey, Troy.
(Troy exits. Awkward pause.)
TAMMY: Well it’s good to see you. She’s so pretty.
(Tammy goes back to her table.)
NICK: Anyway, it’s not that much more money, but it’s a step forward, you know.
DORIS: / Wonderful.
TAMMY (To Becky): What are you doing?
KELLY: / He’s very well-liked.
BECKY: He wants to see it.
DORIS: Well of course he is.
BECKY (Referring to the video): And after the knife goes into their throat and they flip around sometimes the cow gets stuck in the / machine and—
TAMMY (Grabbing the phone): / You’re embarrassing us.
NICK: It’s a small company but they’ve got a great reputation.
DORIS: I’m very impressed.
NICK: Okay, I’m not trying to “impress” you, / I was just talking.
KELLY: / Nick—
DORIS: Nicky please don’t read into what I’m saying, I’m truly very impressed.
(Max, Isabelle, and Troy enter, approaching Cole. Isabelle holds a slice of cake with a candle on top. They start singing. Max and Troy aren’t that into it; Isabelle is very into it, harmonizing toward the end.)
MAX, ISABELLE, AND TROY (Singing): Happy birthday / to you, happy birthday to you, etc.
COLE: What did I say? What did I just tell you?
NICK: / Anyway it’s just—a good thing for me.
TAMMY: Oh Dad. Grumpy grump!
DORIS: / Congratulations.
BECKY: Happy birthday Grandpa.
NICK (Defeated): / Thanks.
COLE: I fought in Korea. Stop singing.
(Max, Isabelle, and Troy finish singing. They all applaud.)
ISABELLE: Abbondanza!
DORIS: / It’s so cold in here. Ask Eddie why they keep it so cold?
BECKY: Mom, I’m not eating this.
TAMMY: / Becky you’re really pushing it.
NICK: Why do I need to ask him?
KELLY (To Nick): Honey.
NICK: / What?
TAMMY: Just blow out the candle.
TROY: Blow out the candle, Dad.
BECKY: Maybe he doesn’t want to blow out the fucking candle.
(Eddie pops his head in, speaking to Doris, Nick, and Kelly.)
TROY: / Becky.
EDDIE: Just give me a minute, I’m so sorry.
NICK: It’s fine.
TROY: / Okay, Dad just—. Blow it out.
DORIS: Eddie why is it so cold in here?
BECKY: / I hate this family.
EDDIE: Oh, uh—I don’t know?
TAMMY: / Why do you say these things?!
DORIS: Well maybe this is why it’s closing. It’s too cold / for people to eat—
TAMMY: / Is it too much to ask that your grandfather has a nice—?
EDDIE: Sh—Mom—
NICK: Wait what’s happening?
TROY: DAD, JUST BLOW OUT THE DAMN CANDLE ALREADY.
(Everyone turns to Cole. Cole looks at the lit candle in front of him, staring at it. There is a very, very long silence during which we only hear music playing in the background. Finally, Cole blows out the candle. Everyone claps halfheartedly.)
ISABELLE: Yay! Today you’re part of our famiglia!
(Isabelle, Max, and Troy all exit.)
NICK: How long do you have?
EDDIE: Um. We really shouldn’t—
COLE: / I’m done. I’m going to the car to do my word search.
NICK: What are you gonna do?
(Cole gets up and slowly exits. Troy enters, seeing Cole leave.)
EDDIE: / I don’t— . . . I guess I’m not totally sure yet? I’m still working on it—
TAMMY: Fine, we’re staying here and finishing our desserts. You’re seventy-seven for God’s sake, you’re acting like a child.
DORIS: / I told him there’s a new one opening up in Rexburg. He didn’t even apply.
BECKY: Maybe he thinks you’re acting like a child.
TAMMY: Becky, I swear to God—
(Troy enters.)
BECKY: / Stop calling me that.
EDDIE: I don’t want to move to Rexburg, I live here.
TROY (To Tammy): What did you say to him?
NICK: / Maybe it’d be good for you.
TAMMY: Oh my God, he’s your father.
(Troy exits, heading after Cole.)
EDDIE (To Doris): Mom and I’d never see each other.
DORIS: Well.
EDDIE: What? (Pause) Mom, what?
DORIS: I’m just saying it might be good for you, that’s all.
EDDIE: / But I mean we barely see one another as it is—
BECKY: I don’t feel good.
DORIS: / Eddie you’re so sensitive.
TAMMY: Just calm down.
EDDIE: / Listen, maybe we could all do Christmas together this year?
BECKY:
