Five Plays. Samuel D. Hunter
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(Max makes gestures to illustrate the idea of “the outside world.”)
But pot’s all about—
(Max makes gestures to illustrate the idea of “the inner life.”)
Totally different.
EDDIE: Look, just—don’t bring it to work, okay?
MAX: I won’t, sorry. And I never come in to work stoned, I swear. (Pause) Does anyone—want some?
ISABELLE: Yes.
EDDIE: Guys, I don’t know if—
(Isabelle takes the pipe and bag from Max and starts loading the pipe.)
. . . okay.
TROY: No wonder you’re both so damn slow on the floor.
ISABELLE: What, you think this is any worse than wine?
MAX: Eddie, you take the first hit.
EDDIE: No, really I’m—I’m fine.
(Isabelle takes a hit. She and Max pass the pipe back and forth.)
MAX (To Eddie): I have an older brother too. Total dick. Owns some bullshit office supply company in Twin Falls.
EDDIE: Oh.
MAX: We got into a fistfight three Christmases ago. Broke his jaw in two places. I don’t spend much time around family nowadays. (Pause) Where’s he visiting from?
EDDIE: Saint Paul. He’s a real estate agent.
MAX: Dick. So is that why you—?
(Max points to the “Familigia Week” sign.)
EDDIE: I—guess. I just thought it would be nice for them. And all of you guys. (Pause) I don’t know.
MAX: You’re a good guy, Eddie.
TROY: All right, gimme that.
(Troy takes the pipe and takes a hit.)
MAX: Having a brother sucks. Two guys forced to live with one another just because they share some bullshit genetic material.
EDDIE: Yeah.
(Silence. Eddie continues to count cash.)
MAX: Does he give you a hard time for being— . . .?
(Max makes a vague gesture. Troy and Isabelle freeze. Eddie looks at him.)
EDDIE: What?
MAX: You know. (Pause) Shit. I’m sorry.
EDDIE: What?
MAX: I’m really bad at this. Please don’t be offended, I just assumed you were—. Are you?
(Pause.)
EDDIE: Well I don’t exactly . . . I don’t go around announcing it or whatever.
MAX (To Troy): But I mean you knew, right?
TROY: C’mon, we’ve known each other for twenty years. None of my business anyway.
ISABELLE: Well I think it’s awesome.
EDDIE: Thank—you. But we don’t—. We don’t need to keep talking about it.
(Uncomfortable pause.)
MAX: You know I’m bi.
TROY: Oh, Jesus.
EDDIE: You are?
ISABELLE: Bullshit.
MAX: No, really. I don’t fall in love with a gender. I fall in love with a person. I’m attracted to people.
(Pause.)
EDDIE (To Max): Have you ever— . . .?
MAX: Oh, no. I mean not that I wouldn’t. I just—. It hasn’t come up. (Pause) Is your family okay with it?
EDDIE: Oh, we don’t—. I mean we’re not really a family that—talks? I mean my brother’s fine, he doesn’t care, but my mom—. I told her years ago, and she—. I don’t think it sits very well with her.
ISABELLE: Are you seeing anyone?
EDDIE: No, I—. Not really. I was seeing this one guy in Boise a few years ago, but with the distance, it—. And there’s just not much of an opportunity around here, I guess.
ISABELLE: I’m gonna work on that.
EDDIE: Please don’t?
MAX: You ever thought about moving away?
EDDIE: Maybe, I don’t know. I guess that’d be easier, but—. I just sort of feel connected to this town. It’s weird, I feel like moving away would be like abandoning it or something, like I’d be—. (Pause) Never mind, I’m babbling.
MAX: No, what?
(Pause.)
EDDIE: It’s like— . . . (Pause) My family has been here forever, my great-grandpa’s homestead is still standing outside of town. My dad used to take me and my brother out there, and he’d tell us how Great-Grandpa moved up here from Utah, built the house by himself, and it was like— . . . I used to know exactly who I was here, I recognized everything here. But lately, it— . . .
(Pause.)
I drive around Pocatello now, and I—. I get lost. So easily. Like I’ve never even been here before. (Pause) Okay now I really am babbling.
TROY: Eddie, I think that is the most I’ve heard you say, ever.
(Eddie chuckles a bit.)
EDDIE: I’m being stupid.
TROY: No, you’re not. You’re right, this town is shit nowadays. If we were smarter we’d all get the hell out of here.
(Troy downs his glass of wine.)
All right, am I done?
(Eddie hands Troy a small stack of bills. He glances through it.)
Ouch.
EDDIE: Yeah, bad day.
TROY: Fucking Famiglia Week. They were spending my money anyway.
(Eddie hands identical stacks of bills to Max and Isabelle. Isabelle quickly finishes her wine