I meant no harm.
SONDERS She’s blameless, sir, intact I swear, I mean in fact I swear she did it against her will.
MARIE I didn’t do it!
SONDERS No she didn’t—I haven’t—Oh, sir, it was love that drove us to deceive you!
They are kissing Weinberl’s hands.
MARIE Won’t you speak to me, Uncle? Your harshest words are easier to bear than the silence of your anger.
Weinberl, deeply embarrassed, disengages his hands and pats the two heads.
SONDERS What do you …?
MARIE Do you mean …?
They try to raise their heads but Weinberl firmly keeps their heads down and presses them together.
SONDERS He’s blessing our union.
Weinberl guides their faces into a lingering kiss during which he is able to retire, silently, from the room.
SONDERS Marie!
MARIE Oh, August! Oh, Uncle, you’ve made me so … Where has he gone?
SONDERS What a surprising man he is! Beneath his rough manners he is the very soul of tact.
MARIE (getting up) I always knew he was shy underneath.
SONDERS Let me kiss you again.
MARIE You can kiss me properly now!
They go into another lingering kiss, during which Zangler enters. He has a silent apoplexy. At length Sonders notices him.
SONDERS (suavely) Ah, there you are, my dear sir, we were wondering where you’d got to.
ZANGLER (strangled) Sonders! (A couple of buttons fly off his uniform.)
MARIE Oh, you must call him August now—you’re going to be such friends—isn’t he handsome?
ZANGLER I’ll kill him.
MARIE Uncle, but you just—
ZANGLER Slut!
SONDERS My dear sir, what can have happened?
ZANGLER You blackguard! You barefaced dastardly—
SONDERS He’s mad.
Gertrud enters.
GERTRUD (placidly) Oh, you’ve found them.
MARIE Oh, Uncle, you’re not yourself …
ZANGLER I’ll make you eat your words, you ungrateful little Messalina!
GERTRUD Make you eat your semolina you ungrateful little—
ZANGLER (screams) Shut up!
MARIE Oh … (She runs weeping from the room.)
SONDERS Marie!
GERTRUD She’s upset, I can tell.
Gertrud exits, following Marie.
SONDERS This is absurd—I’ll come back when you’re feeling calmer.
Zangler chases Sonders out.
ZANGLER You dare to show your nose in here again and I’ll cut off your coquette to spite your face! And furthermore I’ll disinherit her!
This takes Zangler out of the room. Weinberl, in his own clothes, and Christopher reappear. They are gleeful.
WEINBERL Christopher … Did you hear that?
CHRISTOPHER (looking down the street) He’s still running. I don’t think he’ll ever come back.
WEINBERL Oh my! I feel like a real rapscallion. We’re on the razzle at last!
They embrace.
Enter Weinberl riding horse, Christopher leading them.
WEINBERL We’ve done it! We’re on the razzle! We’re going to get a past at last!
CHRISTOPHER (disappointed) Is this what a razzle is like, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL No—not yet—wait till we really get into our stride. (to horse) Come on Lightning …
CHRISTOPHER How far is Vienna, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL It’s a long way, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER How large is Vienna, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL It is very large, Christopher … Whoa, Lightning …
Weinberl gets off, and Christopher gets on the horse.
Giddy up, Lightning.
CHRISTOPHER Will there be women, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL Beautiful women, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER How old are the women in Vienna, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL Twenty-two, Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER How does one meet them, Mr Weinberl?
WEINBERL They promenade in packs, with parasols, and gloves up to here. They consort with cosmopolitan men-of-the-world in the fashionable cafés.
CHRISTOPHER I have read that they are often kept, Mr Weinberl.
WEINBERL Kept for what, Christopher?
CHRISTOPHER That’s what always puzzled me.
WEINBERL Whoa, Lightning. Vienna, Christopher, is the place to find out … Look!
They are looking out over Vienna.
CHRISTOPHER (impressed) It’s just like you said …
WEINBERL
