Numb. Charles R. Chaffin

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if he should have used a filter; it had been two days and not many “likes.” He wonders whether he should take it down. Has his ex seen the picture? Does it look like he's gained weight? Josh then gets lost in a scroll of Instagram posts from friends as well as a slew of strangers whom he follows. He explores all of the vacation pictures that several friends posted and wonders why he hasn't had a vacation like that in years. He asks himself, “How do they find the time and money to travel around the world like that? I wish that were me.”

      Josh's only companion throughout the entire day is his smartphone. It is on the table in front of him during meetings, in his hand when walking to lunch, and next to him while he is at his desk. He averages about three to four hours of screen time per day. Sometimes he checks his phone to respond to a text message and sometimes he is reading a push notification via one of the news apps. As with his email inbox, he also has a tendency to scroll mindlessly through the endless newsfeed on social media between meetings and phone calls. Whether at work or at home, Josh will check his social media apps after posting something to see if anyone has responded and sometimes he picks up his phone to see if he has those three tiny bubbles that indicate a response to his text is forthcoming. And sometimes he checks his cell phone for no real reason. If his phone vibrates, Josh responds by at least looking at his screen, indicating that at least some portion of his attention is regularly focused on the device, even if it is facedown.

      On social media, we engage, post, and retweet regularly, hoping for the likes and comments that seem so prized. Instagram has created a virtual sweatshop of people diligently working to select just the right selfie with the perfect filter. We perform the endless scroll on Facebook to observe the curated lives of our friends while we curate our own lives for them. Within the past several years, many of us have developed the habit of doomscrolling, perusing our social media newsfeed for what we expect will be more bad news. It can become a regular diet of news regarding political turmoil, and economic and racial inequality, maybe garnished with a pandemic for good measure. We engage and reengage those within our echo chambers, receiving confirmation of our positions. Like those seeking attention through selfies, many within the echo chambers stretch the boundaries of the truth, using less than credible sources to gain affirmation within their tribe. The wildest conspiracy theories sometimes garner the highest amount of attention. In response, the algorithms serve us up more of it, basing new content in our newsfeeds upon what we have previously engaged.

      Through the use of algorithms, YouTube recommends millions of videos to users based upon our previous viewing habits. As a platform that allows users to post content that has little to no vetting process, there is something for just about every mainstream and radicalized belief. With so many videos, the algorithms on YouTube are like a good waiter at an all‐you‐can‐eat pancake breakfast: serving you up more of exactly what you want, without judgment. We engage and reengage on social media for that dopamine high of receiving both new information as well as attention that comes in the form of likes and comments. We spend hours per day, logged in and sharing curated aspects of our lives, to get that dopamine hit and perhaps also searching for connectivity with others. There is a sad irony that billions of us are connected, yet so many feel isolated and alone. In many cases, we turn to social media for connection, sacrificing many forms of authenticity that come from shared experiences and deeper connections with friends and loved ones.

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