almost copying my manner, said in a low tone:
– T about what you think… little what is in your memory.
For a couple of seconds we stared into each other's eyes in silence. Without taking his hypnotic gaze away, he summarized:
– And here the specialist who was engaged in the development of these methods, who had actually and practically already achieved success, who was about to publish them, suddenly dies. Of course, this interested our security service, and the special services , which supervise our security service. Here you are.
– In the course of our investigation, we came across a very interesting situation. And it became interesting when we found out the following… As you realized, I didn't come to you for nothing, – the doctor leaned back in his chair and tuned in to listen. – Our hero was a patient of yours.
After hearing this, the doctor again returned to his previous posture: he moved closer to the table, put one hand on the table, and took his glasses with the other . However, he did not need them, at least to answer the question of the representative of the mysterious organization.
I did not change my intonation, I continued the dialog in the same way, I asked:
– Are you familiar with a character like Chulfa Stefan?
– Oh, that's who you're talking about. Yes, I had a client like that. I for myself noted his diagnosis. You see, people with a diagnosis like that don't accept it. They can become very aggressive.
– What's the diagnosis?
– I put him on theomania.
I raised my eyebrows, staring silently at the doctor. He understood the need to make a correction.
– It's a disorder where outwardly you don't notice anything special. You have to agree that a lot of can be classified as such.
– I within my specifics am a little knowledgeable about your professional terminology. Does this diagnosis suggest megalomania?
– Not exactly, though there is such a thing. It's when an individual is convinced that he is-" the doctor paused intriguingly, "God," he smiled, "or, more modestly, divinely inspired to think and act.
Said changed the expression on my face, I expressed a soundless laugh.
– And how did you determine this, by what his actions or words ? P on what criteria is identified?
– Uh-oh, you should talk to our patients.
I expressed the question again with raised eyebrows.
– No, not the ones who are treated here," the doctor reacted to such emotion, – believe me, we all have some degree of psychiatric illness. I run a private practice as well. I have a special contingent of clients coming, or rather, observed by me for preventive purposes . After all, we are all superstitious. Someone in the devil believes , someone in the house or unclean force, angels … in B oga. And understanding of this is purely individual, interpreted in their own way each . We believe in our imagination… imagined by us. And we want to convince others and the one who is not like us. T o is healthy, by the standards of psychiatry , we want to infect with our superstitions, considering them vicious, i.e. sick. But, alas, I have a lot of things I don't have to voice. You understand.
– About yes. I've encountered both godlessness and godheadedness more than once.
–Well and turnovers you have.
– See, we're in that legion, too.
– Yes- yes, but don't go to the barricades or the front lines. Just quietly smoking a cup of coffee.
I sighed.
– R assay what was bothering him.
– Now that you think of it, how about this very coffee?
– Thank you in advance.
The gray sky outside the window and the dim, matte light in the room were not conducive to conversation . Coffee, especially the aroma , which I especially appreciated in this drink, and the ritual of its consumption ( I prefer without sugar, so I always combine the drink with something sweet), like a magic elixir, transformed both the landscape outside the window and the background in the office .
– A god complex is not a clinical diagnosis.
The professor's voice distracted me from my thoughts. " With lava God," I thought, for they were inspired by the dim view outside the window.
– It's not in the DSM," the doctor continued as he approached a table with a coffee maker and two cups on a tray with a handle. – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders," he explained the professional acronym. – H e likes to distract the staff because of an unprofessional request," he said, placing the tray on the table.
– God complex? – I inquired about the term.
– Yes, that's what we call him," the doctor expressed a chuckle. – H e is a narcissistic disorder, which is often confused with it.
– Uh-oh, you think I'm good at this. Somewhere something just clicked – and that's it.
The doctor was understandingly silent in response, pouring coffee into cups .
– It manifests itself in people who tend to consider their opinion to be the only correct one," the psychiatry specialist began to explain the symptoms . – In addition, not noticing their mistakes or justifying them . This is such a complex of behavioral problems and experiences. As a rule, such patients are irritated by criticism of themselves. They are also characterized by inflated self-esteem .
I remained silent. I was becoming more and more interested in the practice of the person to whom my investigation had led me. He, having caught the silent "signal," complemented :
– People with theomania have difficulty recognizing or accepting another person's experience.
I've learned the professional terminology.
– As a rule, they are not interested in anyone, they do not like to listen to others, only if it is for their benefit: they are often self-absorbed. And, as usual, this whole complex leads to gaslighting.
The doctor paused for a second, looked intently at me, handed me a coffee and said:
–E then a facet of this complex in which the client denies anyone's reality . Not everyone, of course .
– Customer ? – from curving my lips , said I.
– It's a professional syndrome. It's like they say, "You can't go wrong with anyone.
– And what was it about our client? – a little louder and more cheerfully I asked, signaling an interest purely in the client's case.
– You know, he surprised me right away. He didn't have any special manifestations, but…" Dr. was a little quiet, lowering his voice before doing so.
– What?" I lowered
