defining what you value, and imagining your ideal lifestyle, you create goals and a vision to aspire to. This will help inspire the hard work it will take to become and stay organized. You are giving yourself the freedom to create and enjoy the life you’ve always dreamed of. Yet know that lasting change requires strong motivation and willpower. Working on yourself before your space prepares you for the physical, emotional, and mental aspects of getting organized. It isn’t always easy to align what’s important to you with your actions, to create consistency in behavior for the pursuit of happiness, peace, tranquility, and excitement in our everyday life. But the minute you write down goals, take time to focus on them and make them happen. Goals are not meant to stay on paper; they are meant to write your life story.
Usually, being organized is not something someone will put on their top ten list of core values, but it is something everyone values to a certain degree. It will help inspire you to work harder on the decluttering process. Going from a so-so lifestyle to something grander and more opulent is exceptionally easy when you understand it’s attainable by using your imagination and when you don’t let clutter get in the way of your vision.
MAKING YOUR SECRET DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS COME TRUE
For a variety of reasons, you can resist talking about your dreams and life goals. Perhaps you think they are unrealistic or you don’t feel worthy. Yet revealing any secret dreams is important in order to accurately assess your belongings and clear them out of your space. Stuffing dreams down inside often leads to stuffing up your life with things that don’t enhance, but rather thwart, your current life from moving forward. Secret dreams may involve building an empire or becoming an actor, writer, athlete, singer, or dancer. People often never mention their secret dreams even to a partner, a family member, or their closest friends. Secret dreams float around in everyone’s mind at some time or another. They could be about wanting to get married, leaving a relationship, or traveling to a faraway place. Secret dreams could be about quitting a job and having down time. When people don’t articulate their innermost desires, it’s as if they are building a wall to keep their dreams from escaping into reality. Whatever is true for you, this is the time to be the conductor of your own well-orchestrated life.
Joan collected everything to do with horses. As a child she had dreamed of owning and riding horses, and in lieu of ever doing that she started collecting horse figurines, which as an adult she continued to display throughout her home. In adulthood, Joan started to buy equestrian clothing and equipment, such as stirrup pants, cowboy boots, hats, saddles, and horseshoes. Though she secretly held on to her childhood dreams and still fantasized about living an equestrian lifestyle, the only thing she did to pursue it was to collect more stuff. After Joan did an assessment of her current lifestyle, she realized she had thwarted and ignored her dream of being an equestrian. At first Joan thought the answer to her clutter challenge would mean getting rid of her horse collections, but after admitting her dreams out loud, she realized the opposite. Not only did she want to keep her stuff, but she began to actively pursue an equestrian lifestyle, which improved her life immensely. Joan found a horse she could afford and started riding lessons, and soon she found a “cowboy” boyfriend to go line dancing with. She enjoyed and loved all her collections again and began regularly using her riding gear. Joan started volunteering with therapy horses and then teaching her grandkids how to ride, which became one of the most fulfilling dreams she could pursue.
Emilio had always dreamed of being a champion tennis player, and when I met him, he had an overaccumulation of tennis gear, including twenty-two tennis rackets and closets filled with tennis clothes and shoes. However, he rarely played tennis. He did not exercise, practice, or meet with a tennis coach regularly. Most of his time was spent working to support his family and hanging out with his friends.
Emilio loved the idea of being a tennis star, and he entered a few tennis tournaments, but he never won. He did not have the physical stamina, technique, or discipline to practice for hours and hours every week. Emilio’s coaches told him he did not have the hand-eye coordination, balance, or timing it takes to be a great player. No matter what he was told, Emilio still believed he was going to be a professional tennis player, and he initially insisted on keeping all his tennis gear for his “future victories.”
In truth, Emilio did not want to face his own disappointment over not achieving his tennis dreams. Over time, Emilio started to search for a new sport to enjoy and excel in. After much introspection, Emilio discovered golf, which was much more in line with his particular athletic abilities. Emilio’s new passion and focus on golf helped him clear out all his tennis gear, which he donated to charity. In its place Emilio purchased a new golf wardrobe and golf equipment, and he made a point of only purchasing what he would use regularly, what served a purpose, and things he loved. He acknowledged overcollecting did not equate to excelling in something.
The point of these stories is that making major changes in your life is not as important as feeling happy, enthusiastic, and productive. Changing is something you want to do or don’t want to do. When change is something you want, do it in small steps, with competence, and have a deadline to accomplish your goals. You don’t want to jump off the high dive when you haven’t learned how to swim well. Creating a world that is safe, economically sound, and in harmony with your qualifications, proficiencies, desires, and goals takes discipline, determination, planning, and follow-through. Getting a clear read on where you stand currently helps you plan the future you want to achieve. Doing the next exercise will help you understand your current self better. When you understand your inner self better, you will understand everything in your life better, especially your clutter.
CURRENT LIFE-STATUS INVENTORY
Next, create what I call your “current life-status inventory,” which is your individual current life picture. Living your ideal lifestyle means taking a considerable look into your current one. This inventory helps you determine if you have settled for a less-than-ideal life. When you look at your current life on paper, you can come to realize that it is “dated,” like some of the old clothes and electronics you still own. You can realize you feel trapped, like some projects you stuffed away under the bed. You can have thoughts locked in your head that indicate you “don’t deserve anything better.” You could have adopted a steady and secure lifestyle in order to not “rock the boat.” Getting a baseline of your current life status helps you develop what you want now and for the future. Answering the nine questions below helps prepare you for the balance it takes to become perpetually organized.
1.Where do you live? Who do you live with?
2.Do you work? If so, where?
3.Are you happy or unhappy about the above situations? Explain.
4.Who are you, and what are you about? What do you do in life?
5.What do you do for fun and/or relaxation?
6.Name the closest people in your life. Do they bring you happiness? Why or why not?
7.Briefly explain how well you are doing in the following areas:
•Relationships
•Mental health
•Emotions
•Physical health
•Social life
•Money
•Culture / beliefs about life
8.What are you doing to improve in or change about the above areas?
9.Which five positive feelings or emotions would you like to experience more often?
Improving your life takes some digging around in places that are complex and painful. I won’t
