instead of stupor, in your life takes a plan of action and a bold trek into anything that will get in your way. Any past negative experiences that still cause you pain may not always be recognizable, unless you get real with parts of yourself that have gone by the wayside. There may be younger, wounded aspects of yourself you have buried and not dealt with. An ideal lifestyle is only as ideal as you make it, and it occurs when your emotional clutter is cleared and healed.
RECOGNIZING AND HEALING PAST WOUNDS
The most difficult emotions that arise during decluttering and organizing often relate to traumatic or hurtful incidents that happened in the past. People don’t realize the connection between the past and the present since they believe they “got over” those past events years ago. However, emotional scars can be persistent and enduring. They don’t disappear, poof, all gone, just because we wish them away or say so. Painful events can stay with us and well up at the most inconvenient time. Sometimes people say they “got over” or “got past” things, but what they mean is that they ignored and buried the pain, believing that time alone would heal those wounds. As most people eventually learn, emotions don’t work this way. Instead, blocking and stuffing pain only defers our experience of it, and those feelings can blow up in our face at any given moment, blinding us, and send us heading for a fall. Experiences you put “behind” you will eventually chase you down. Healing takes both time and focused effort. It doesn’t happen on its own.
Confronting clutter can trigger old wounds. When it is approached willingly, by facing those wounds, it can lead to a cathartic experience through which you release the pain and suffering for good. This first means acknowledging and feeling your emotions, and no longer holding them in, and this may involve tears, crying, and expressing and expelling negative emotions in a curative and beneficial way. To get all of the angst and trauma out, you want to pull out pain by the roots.
Clearing and Healing Strategy
A great strategy for clearing up emotional clutter and healing any past trauma is what I call a “clearing and healing strategy.” This is a way to have inner communication with past parts of yourself. It starts by listing five of your most common negative emotions, those dark feelings you experience on a regular basis. Feel those emotions and remember when those awful feelings first started. Identify how old that part of yourself was. It could be a very young self or an older past part of yourself. Now visualize the image of your younger self, in your mind’s eye, and then project that image in the room with you. See that younger self as clearly as possible: How are they dressed? How is their hair styled? How are they sitting or standing? Then introduce yourself to your younger self, and share the good things about your life now, along with what is different from the past.
Dialogue with your younger self. Ask them, “What do you think about that?” Listen for their answer; don’t think for them. Then ask the younger self, “How are you doing?” Again, listen for their answer, and don’t be tempted to think of the answer in your head. The younger self will answer, reminding you of what hurt them. Reassure your younger self that whatever happened was not their fault, and while whatever happened was wrong, it is not happening anymore. Ask your younger self what they want from your adult self, and then fulfill their reasonable requests. Typically, the younger part wants to know that you are okay and that things turned out well in spite of their own distressing and disturbing experiences. Reassuring the younger self that you survived those difficult times and are in a completely different stage of life will help your younger self move on and heal.
Dealing with clutter and organizing your life often means dealing with the places where you are still stuck or struggling with past distressing memories. In this situation, your younger self will want to know that you are willing to work on healing the lingering angst created in the past. As you organize your space, it is important to let your wounded younger self know that you don’t want their help with the clutter. Indeed, assure them that you don’t want their help in any part of your current adult life. Once you help all your younger selves heal, tell them to “be free” and to “go have fun.”
This technique of inner communication can also be used to heal unresolved wounds and conflicts with other people, particularly those who have died or whom you can’t or don’t want to speak to directly. Simply visualize meeting these difficult or unavailable people using your imagination, and communicate with them. Visualize a comfortable room with a mediator or neutral party who will help you work on a resolution. Discuss whatever unresolved and unfinished business you have with the person, express any negative emotions, and share whatever insight you have about why certain things occurred.
The goal is to have a cathartic release of pain and suffering in a loving, safe, and unconditional manner. This exercise takes focus and some time to get used to, but it provides insight into other people and your life in a nonthreatening way. It is a safe way to confront, understand, and forgive people who have hurt you or to communicate with people you have lost. Ultimately, the aim is to understand and heal any lingering confusion, hatred, shame, and remorse from past relationships, so that you have the emotional freedom to pursue your ideal life in the present.
RECOGNIZING YOUR SPIRITUAL BELIEF SYSTEM
Part of creating your ideal life means understanding your personal beliefs and organizing your lifestyle in alignment with them. I believe that an organized healthy self, one focused on all aspects of wellness, includes one’s belief system. I like to think of humans as spiritual beings in a physical experience. We are Soul. Soul is from one source, split off into creative sparks of light, carried by a current of sound into a physical body. I believe, at all times, our physical form is linked by a silver cord to the original source. Therefore, we have an inner resource of wisdom, connectivity, and power at all times. We have all the answers within for any challenges we face.
You may give your philosophies, theories, and spiritual beliefs a lot of thought, and they are firm and clear, or you may not think about them at all. Perhaps you ascribe to a particular religious or spiritual path or you don’t. It’s also okay to move about in your ideas and thoughts until you have some awareness of who you are and life’s deeper meaning is clear to you. Only you know what you believe in at any given moment. However, when you find yourself clueless or uncertain about your existence, I encourage you to take the time to consider these questions and to ponder the larger meaning of life. This is part of being grounded in your life’s larger purpose in order to stay organized. Having awareness of who you are and your true purpose is one of the greatest gifts you will experience and share with others.
Take a few moments to reflect on and answer these questions:
•Do you believe in a higher power? Are you not sure?
•Do you believe in an organized religion? A spiritual path?
•Do you have a savior or a master you follow?
•Do you believe in evolution? Are you agnostic or atheist?
•Do you believe wholeheartedly in a specific doctrine, or do you have your own theories?
Whatever you believe in helps you become clearer about yourself and what you value in life. An unclear spiritual path leads to an unclear physical environment, a bumpier road, and an undeniable confusion about everything, including who to include in your life.
DEVELOPING A POSITIVE SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM
Knowing how to evaluate and understand who will be great in your life and who will not is not always easy, especially when they are family, old friends, neighbors, and coworkers. There are many ways to determine who stays and who goes. Hurtful people create drama, affecting and impacting you on all levels, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I always say, “Like attracts like,” so getting clarity on those you want in your life will help clear out the people you don’t want in your life. Some people can
