One Man's Dark. Maurice Manning

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One Man's Dark - Maurice Manning

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      believe me, I see it every day.

      I even go down to it, back

      in the woods behind the hill where the land

      goes down below the green knob

      to rest in the still dark, as if

      that place is a room with something left

      inside it. How a room, even

      this one that has no walls and the mere

      pitch of the sky for a makeshift,

      homely roof, must be a place

      where some existence shows its proof.

      What it is is like a voice

      that sounded itself from silence once,

      and every sound since then has been

      an echo and echoes of the voice.

      Why wouldn’t I believe a kind

      of unexpected heaven here

      comes close, why wouldn’t I believe

      in the complicated beauty of once?

      It’s how we get a circle drawn

      around a circle, a wheel inside

      another turning wheel. I’ve gone

      back there to lonely silence, but once

      I went and had the lonelier sense

      that just before there had been singing.

      All of the sumac is scarlet now

      and the thistle heads have gone to silk

      and around the field the goldenrod

      nods in the rain, and anything

      with leaves or height is lowered. Heads

      must bend and bow, I almost say,

      but then I have the thought that rain —

      rain, rain, rain — is the voice,

      the very voice of repetition,

      each splash descended from the last

      in form and falling rhythm, each drop

      a long, wet verse before it hits.

      Rain was my season when I was a boy,

      and rain in fall was best. I’d walk

      across the field and find the woods

      where I’d lean against a cedar tree

      and listen to the steady rain.

      I liked the constant sound and motion,

      how that sound and motion eventually

      became the same blurred expression.

      But then I’d hear a second rain,

      a rain of solitary drops

      that fell from the branches with less precision,

      yet had an independent order,

      a rain that couldn’t help itself

      from being strange or stirring me

      to believe the first rain — steady

      and unified — is necessary

      for the second, the other, singular rain.

      An accidental counterpart

      to unity, a blind pursuit,

      like all desire, for the one design —

      to fall not fully from the sky

      and chase the chance to fall again?

      I mean falling for the darker sake

      of falling one way only once

      and maybe never noticed or known.

      What cannot be repeated, what

      will not be uniform, what breaks

      away defiantly from control —

      I’ve been a student of this art.

      It is one of God’s better tricks

      to make monotony revealing,

      but disruption is a subtle craft.

      Rain makes itself and makes,

      through more and more, the field believe

      this is eternity for now.

      But more and more of anything

      becomes too constant and proves too true

      and, so, the eternal must change.

      Eventually the rain will stop

      and the goldenrod and thistle heads

      will straighten, and that will be the world,

      or it will seem the world. But I wonder,

      I wonder if these prolific weeds

      will know they have again and again

      been swayed by the God who begins above

      in solitude by pouring out

      a bucket, an ordinary bucket?

      Freddie Terry would take it out

      and blow on it like an ember to fog

      it over, and then he’d polish it

      slowly on his shirttail

      before setting it back in the little cave

      above his cheek where it peered out

      shinier now and bluer than

      the good one, and when it caught the light

      it flickered as if it were coming

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