are aware of this, while most others are not. In fact, when you enter any arena, others will pick up on your message, and what they see will usually determine the way they respond, how they play, and what they do; as a result, your message will impact the results of that event. Knowing this, champions do all they can to control this message, making sure they send one that works for, not against, them. I have had athletes tell me that they will look in the opponents’ eyes, and what they see determines the outcome. It has been said, as you may know, that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Athletes have been known to see fear, confidence, tentativeness, intimidation, calm, and other performance-related traits in others. If this is so—and my experience working with champions tells me it is—then what are you doing to make sure you send your best message, whether in sport, at work, or at home?
Let me give you an example that relates to my professional work as a keynote speaker. Before I enter the “arena,” I decide what message I wish to send. I want them to know that I am caring, concerned, passionate, and enthusiastic about my reasons for being there. Once I am aware of this, I decide what it will take—what I need to do—to get that message across. For example, I need to make eye contact, move about the room, be energetic, be connected with and “feel” my material, be myself, be sincere yet funny, and be sure to display natural emotions arising from the situations at hand. When I do all of this, the audience receives the message and appreciates my approach. The outcome is determined before I walk out on stage.
Here is an exercise that Sun-Tzu would find useful, given his words in the opening quote about “prior analysis.” Before you enter your next arena of performance—a field, court, boardroom, office, classroom, or home—empower yourself by asking and answering these questions:
1. What message do you want to send? The message can be about what they can expect from this contest—that you are a handful to contend with—or it can be that you are in charge, on top of things, ready to go all-out, or simply something like, “I care” or “I’m good.”
2. Having done that, what four things, strategies, actions, or behaviors do you need to do that will assure you that your message is both sent and received? Put these into affirmations on 3 x 5 index cards by writing: “When I ______, I demonstrate my seriousness about sending the message.” Carry them with you and recite them often prior to the event. Feel the calm and confidence as a result of taking charge.
RAISING THE BAR
CHAMPIONS NEVER ASK whether or not it’s possible to raise the bar on their performance, and neither should you. The question they ask is: How is it possible; what do I need to do? So should you.
Know, however, that to discover the possibilities that are available, you must absolutely move out of your comfort zone. Be prepared, as a champion like Lance Armstrong would be, to suffer and sacrifice along the way. Raising the bar in any aspect of your sport, business, or family life demands that you take on adversity in order to experience great expansion, joy, and fulfillment. We tend to be creatures of comfort, and we easily become smitten with who we are and what we’ve achieved. Still, it is widely accepted that most athletes rarely achieve more than 18 percent of their full human potential.
To raise the bar on who and where you are, and to get a sense of purpose and vision (individual or team), follow the lessons of champions that remind you to focus away from results and more on the process. Focusing on results creates anxiety, stress, and a good deal of tension. Focusing on the process allows you to relax and feel confident in what you can do. To help you to better focus on the process, follow these steps:
1. What are three specific things you could do that you aren’t doing now, which if done, would definitely contribute to personal (or team) improvement immediately? For example, in basketball, sprint your lanes, dive on the 50/ 50 ball, and crash the boards. In life, maybe it’s meditate each day, exercise for thirty minutes four times per week, and drink eight glasses of water daily. You decide.
2. Write out a contract with yourself: “I commit to (fill in blank) in order to raise the bar as a performer in sport and life.” Sign it, and be sure to read it every day or prior to entering the arena of performance.
3. Take a few minutes, after you have read your contract, to relax by taking three or four deep breaths, then visualize yourself performing these tasks. Feel the feeling you get when you do good things like this.
Think about how you want to raise the bar in other arenas of life, and follow the same format. It works; it’s simple, yet it requires attention to detail.
ZERO REGRETS
WHEN I WORK with champions, they remind me that having regrets is not an option. While it is impossible to eliminate all regrets from your life, the champions teach that regrets can be monitored and greatly reduced or controlled. Over the years, I have developed a method that I have used with hundreds of athletes to help them gain greater control over these demons. The exercise is called “Zero Regrets” and can be used for any path, be it athletic, professional, or personal. This exercise, once again, asks that your focus be more on the process or the journey than the destination.
1. Imagine that it is now six months (or any other significant time frame) down the road, and you are looking back on your season, your work, your fitness program. Using your past experience as a guide, what five regrets could you have at that time? Some say: not giving it my all, not seeing the signs of failure, not being consistent, not lifting weights, not running, not eating healthily, disregarding mental training, and so on.
2. Once your list is created, answer this: What five or more actions or behaviors could I perform that, if successful, would eliminate the chances of having those regrets? These are specific, tangible tasks to be performed, such as: lift weights three times a week for two hours a session, to prevent the regret of being weak in the upper body.
3. Having stated these tasks, take those you are certain to commit to, and begin to create a daily and/or weekly schedule of activity that will guide you to consistent effort.
I have used this exercise with teams when they go to a big tournament or final four. I ask them to imagine it’s over, it’s Monday morning, and to list the regrets that they could have at that time. Then I ask them to commit to certain activities, tasks, or behaviors that will help eliminate the regrets. This is a powerful refocusing tool usable in many of life’s circumstances. Next time you are about to go on vacation, go through the steps and discover how much more fun you will have if you avoid regrets in advance. This will give you a deeper sense of purpose and vision.
OBSESSION WITH WINNING
CHAMPIONS TEACH US that when your sole purpose and vision in sport is about winning, you generally come up short. I alluded to the meaning of winning in the introduction to this book, yet feel a need to elaborate upon it here in lessons on purpose and vision.
I remember clearly the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, when Michelle Kwan seemed obsessed about winning gold in ice skating. Having failed to accomplish the feat four years before, she must have felt enormous pressure to win, and she was the overwhelming favorite. However, young Sarah Hughes, who simply showed up to skate her best, having little or no chance to win, skated brilliantly to a gold medal. Her purpose and vision was to skate well, have fun, and enjoy the experience... perhaps even have a top-three finish. When one’s only purpose is to win, the tightness, tension, and anxiety seem to build up, hampering one’s best efforts. An old Zen saying teaches us: “When the archer shoots for the love of shooting, he has all the skill; when he shoots for gold, he goes blind.”
In his classic work, The Zen of Running, Fred Rohé eloquently
