to childbearing, housework, and farmwork, the Choson court created a society in which the two sexes were segregated into different worlds.
Women were not allowed to meet, talk to, or associate in any way with any males outside their own families. When passing men—on the rare occasions that they did—they were required to avert their eyes. But the tradition of segregating males and females goes back much further in Korean history. The word for wife, anae (ah-negh), basically means “inside person” and reflects the image of wives that had existed in Korea since ancient times.
From the beginning of Korea’s recorded history, which more or less dates from the peninsula’s falling under the hegemony of China in 108 B.C., until modern times lower-class women were treated very much like property. To survive in this environment, women had to develop extraordinary resilience and willpower, characteristics that were regularly put to the test by internal strife as well as invasions from the outside.
In all social classes marriages were arranged to benefit the families. Wives could not initiate divorce or prevent husbands from divorcing them. Young women were regularly sold into slavery. Groups of young women, selected especially for their beauty, were also regularly sent as tribute to the harems of the imperial capital of China.
Korean women began to fare somewhat better in the last decades of the nineteenth century, by which time the Choson court had become virtually impotent and the country was being threatened by Japan as well as Western powers. But the few changes that did occur then mostly benefited a small number of unmarried girls from noble and well-to-do merchant families who were allowed to venture outside their walled homes, attend school, and participate in limited social activities. These first breaks with Confucian-oriented society generally did not extend to wives.
Korean wives were to remain virtually locked in the Middle Ages until the 1960s, by which time Korea had embarked on a remarkable economic as well as social transformation that was to sever many of its Confucian roots and greatly loosen the remainder of its ties with the past. This time the revolution was to benefit married as well as single women. By the 1980s Korean wives had caught up with their Japanese counterparts and in many respects had begun turning the tables on their work-harried husbands.
Like their Japanese neighbors, present-day Korean housewives are in day-today charge of their childrens’ education and generally act as the family bankers. Among the blue-and white-collar working classes, husbands generally turn their salaries over to their wives, keeping only a weekly or monthly allowance. Wives play equal or leading roles in deciding on major expenditures. Wives also initiate and manage most noncompany social events in which their families participate. About the only area that is still regarded as a strictly male obligation is the leading role in rituals honoring ancestors, but this too is gradually weakening.
One of the most important cultural changes in the lives of Korean anae was the almost mandatory rule that they give birth to sons or be divorced. Sons are still highly valued in Korean society, but without the force of law requiring strict obedience to the rites of ancestor worship and enforcing patrimony, male children are no longer absolutely necessary for Korean wives to maintain their roles and status.
Korean wives are no longer denied the right to enjoy aejong (aye-johng), or “love and affection.” Aein (aye-een), “lover” or “sweetheart,” is no longer a taboo word in the vocabulary of the young, and like their counterparts in other countries, more and more unmarried girls, formally addressed as Agassi (ah-gahs-she), which is the equivalent of “Miss,” take it for granted that it is morally permissible for them to have aein before they marry, and they are willing to confront society at large on the issue.
At the same time, kyurhon (kure-hoan), or “marriage,” is no longer viewed as a trap that condemns them to a life of servitude and loneliness from which there is virtually no escape. The possibility of ihon (ee-hohn), or “divorce,” is only one part of the changing scene for Korean wives.
A generic term for “housewife” or “mistress of the house” is chubu (chuu-buu). The male equivalent is chuin (chuu-een), which is variously translated as “host,” “employer,” or “master of the house.” Always known for their survival powers and behind-the-scenes influence, the wives and single women of today’s Korea are among the strongest-willed, most independent and self-directed women in the world—and woe to the man who crosses them!
Anshim 안힘 Ahn-sheem
Peace of Mind
Another key element in traditional Korean culture that was to have a fundamental influence on the character of the people was an abhorrence of disorder, of chaos of any kind, physical or mental, something that no doubt derived from their indoctrination in Buddhism and Confucianism. Buddhism taught nonviolence in the strictest form, including respecting and preserving all life forms. Confucianism imbued the people with an equally strong sense of order and form, to the point that the way they did things generally took precedence over feelings and other personal considerations.
However, these two influences neither protected Koreans from their more aggressive and rapacious neighbors nor guaranteed domestic peace and tranquillity at all times. But they did establish a philosophical and spiritual foundation in Korea for a state of mind referred to as anshim (ahn-sheem), which literally means “peaceful heart,” and made this the ideal mental and spiritual state for which all were expected to strive.
Korean history, particularly since the end of the nineteenth century, may seem at variance with the anshim element in Korean culture, but most of the violence that has been endemic in Korea since that time has been the result of invasions by both foreign forces and foreign ideologies, against which Koreans had no suitable defense.
Contemporary culture in Korea still holds anshim up as the ideal, and much of the Korean language, etiquette, and ethics is designed to create and sustain an environment of anshim in personal relations, in business, and in any other public activity. The fact that these efforts fail almost as often as they succeed is generally not for lack of trying but because the whole society is undergoing revolutionary changes.
Much of the ongoing Korean behavior that outsiders perceive as irrational and disruptive in some way is a manifestation of their efforts to maintain anshim despite new circumstances over which they have little or no control. The employee who keeps quiet about a mistake, the employee who does not complain about an injustice, and the businessperson who misrepresents a situation are all trying to avoid upsetting their own anshim as well as that of others.
Rather than express themselves directly in many situations that are routine to Westerners, Koreans keep quiet and expect other people to pick up on their desires or intentions via subliminal signals that are referred to as nunchi (nuunchee), a kind of cultural intuition. It is fair to say that in Korea one cannot maintain an acceptable level of anshim in a work group (or in a family) without being skilled in nunchi—something that may put newly arrived and uninitiated foreigners at a very serious disadvantage.
One way for foreign businesspeople newly assigned to Korea to avoid some of the more dire consequences of disrupting the anshim of their Korean coworkers and failing to pick up on their silent messages through nunchi is to confess up front that although they are familiar with the terms and understand they refer to behavior that is crucial to maintaining good morale and productivity, they do not yet have the cultural skills to react to them or use them effectively. This kind of confession generally results in the Koreans concerned helping the foreign novice bridge the cultural gap. In any event, such a confession lays the foundation for the newcomer to ask questions when in doubt about anything.
Just letting a Korean friend or business associate know that you will do everything possible to protect his or her anshim can significantly enhance the relationship for the better.
Anun Saram 안운살암
