productive perspective of the situation.
Your changing room tip is to use your MIND to spot the GAP, or:
Genuine
Alternative
Perspective
There will be a Genuine Alternative Perspective in most situations, and there will be smiles and laughter waiting to be discovered. You can either moan about the weather or dance and laugh in the rain. It’s a choice.
When you recognise the G.A.P, use it. Rather than reacting instantly, give yourself a little more time to think and make the right decision.
(I’ve had to find and use my G.A.P quite recently. I was recently diagnosed with the beginnings of a macular hole in my left eye, and reading, writing and typing have become more of a challenge. After throwing a spectacular hissy fit and a few tantrums and after insulting the universe for donating this to me, it came to my attention that I was missing my G.A.P. I decided to go back and look for it, and I found it. I apologised to the universe and decided that it was trying to challenge my sight to make me finish this book. Time is of the essence. (Hence I’ve booked myself into a local hotel for the night to write, write and write. Thank you, universe.)
I invite you to join me as a G.A.P spotter. Use your mind to find genuine alternative perspectives and find space for smiles and laughter. Laughter will light up your life, your spirit and every part of your soul. Turn the volume up on your smiles until they become laughter escaping from your lips.
“I have not seen anyone dying of laughter, but I know millions who are dying because they are not laughing.”
Dr Madan Kataria
DON’T OPEN YOUR
MOUTH TO PUT
MEDICINE IN. OPEN
YOUR MOUTH TO LET
LAUGHTER OUT.
GRATITUDE IS YOUR GATEWAY
With a little practice Minding The Gaps, I learned to make better choices. As a result, laughter helped deflect much embarrassment and the upset that it would have caused. However, still struggling with confidence and my identity, I also cried a lot. Not because I was bald, but because I was lost. I spent a lot of time thinking about what was wrong with my life. I had frustration, anger, sadness, hopelessness, and self-pity on speed dial and was very self-indulgent with my thought choices. On the surface I could now fit into society with the help of my new false hair, but inside I still felt hopelessly disorientated.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is Maria amongst them all?”
No answer.
Until one day.
Early one morning, I was standing in the kitchen at our home, gazing through the serving hatch into the dining room. I noticed my daughter Jadine playing with her brother Brook. She was gently pinging the baby bouncer, making him bounce up and down. This was making him laugh – deep contagious laughter that reflected pure unadulterated joy. The sound seemed to penetrate my heart, my soul and my being. In that split second, I felt an overwhelming and unfamiliar gratitude, which filled me with light from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. For the first time in a very long time, looking at my children, I focused on what I did have in my life, instead of what I had lost. My body and mind surged with new hope. It was the day that I changed my mind and undoubtedly changed my life.
CHANGING ROOM TIP
Get Grateful
The day that I decided to focus on what I did have (beautiful children) instead of what I didn’t have (hair) was without doubt the day that my life began to change. It was a spectacular lesson with regards to the art of gratitude and the power that this has. Gratitude gave me the gift of time, a few seconds in which I felt a spiritual hug as a wave of calm momentarily enveloped me from top to toe. In this moment of calm, the chatter in my head began to fade, allowing the gentle whispering from my soul to be heard. It was the first time that I knew that I needed to change ‘me’, not the situation. And I knew that I needed something else to fill my mind and think about. In my nakedness, I had nothing else to follow but my guiding light.
Gratitude is the gateway to your soul, and the answers that you seek.
When we experience personal challenges, emotional turmoil, or adversity, it’s natural to feel upset, frustrated, lost, or hopeless. Our thoughts become tangled, minds confused as we focus on what could have been, what we have lost, or could have had. This results in overwhelming feelings, particularly anxiety and stress. The more attention we give what has gone wrong, the bigger the problem grows in our mind. The more our mind fills with problems, the less space we have for the good stuff.
By changing your focus and practising the art of gratitude, you can give yourself the gift of calm, and time away from anxiety, stress, and fear. In this calm you will feel more relaxed and therefore more able to think clearly. You will be able to find solutions to help you through your challenges. This is my experience, but it is also backed up by research. Dr Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami are well known for their research on gratitude. Through controlled experimentation, they discovered that people who expressed and practised gratitude were more optimistic after just 10 weeks. They also discovered that these people exercised more, and had fewer visits to their doctors.1
Ask yourself right now:
• What do I have in my life that is good?
• Who do I appreciate in my life?
• What are the small things that I am grateful for?
• What can I be grateful for today?
• What do I feel thinking about these things?
You may be a beginner with regards to the art of gratitude but with a little practice, you can increase your happiness dramatically by working through these three levels:
Level 1 – Be a Self-Gratitude Specialist
Start to identify your own gratitude thoughts and record them regularly in a journal. Reflect back and tap into happiness when remembering those special moments. Begin at this level right now, by creating your own gratitude book. Keep it beside your bed, and before you go to sleep every night, write down at least five things that you are grateful for. Maybe you are grateful for a special friend? The flowers in your garden? A day of sunshine? Allow your pen to flow freely. The only rule is no repetition. Find new moments of gratitude every day.
Level 2 – Be a Gratitude Giver
Continue to carry out the practice at level 1, but start to show your gratitude to others through the use of words or writing. Choose to notice greatness in others (spectacular service in a restaurant, for example) and call or send a note to show your appreciation. Make or buy a small card and send it to a friend with a few heartfelt words. Feel the immense joy in making others feel good with genuine words from your heart. Sprinkle some magic in the form of gratitude at every opportunity, and you will not only light up lives, but light up the world.
Level 3 – Be a Gratitude Giant
Having progressed through levels 1 and 2, continue
