be rugged at times, and steep, because most of our students came to us from a place of adversity or trauma, yet we were steadfastly aware we would be okay, because we would travel the road together, sharing the challenges and the joy, the trials and the triumphs.
As you read this, you may be thinking, “What kind of school is this?” I can tell you . . . it is any school in which, regardless of its size, the human beings who inhabit it choose to make a conscientious connection by starting with the heart. It is any school in which the human beings who are the adults in the school environment choose to see the stories behind the human beings who are the students. In fact, it is any school in which the human beings who are the adults choose to see the story behind one another, and model for their students to do the same, so that people are met where they are, with every person seeking to understand before jumping to judgment. It is a school in which social and emotional learning is a philosophy in which all are invested, so that academic achievement has an opportunity to occur because the all-encompassing we are engaged and empowered to trust, to grow, and to learn.
If you are interested in this kind of school, please join me on a journey to explore the power of connection and the fundamentals of social and emotional learning and its impact on academic development. I have an idea of what you may be thinking. In fact, I’d guess that it sounds something like this: “I appreciate your invitation, but as much as I would like to go on this journey with you, I just have too much on my plate. I cannot add one more thing!” I’ve been there. I know the feeling. The expectations for educators and the pressures they face, regardless of their role, seem to get more demanding each day. New state and federal mandates, protocols for measurable outcomes for students and educators alike, and requirements for state assessments that correlate results with teacher or school performance create a sense of anxiety and heaviness that can permeate our halls, our classrooms, and our hearts. In addition, we are seeing more and more children with mental health issues, as well as those (children and adults) who are living with past or present trauma, and these things, too, fill our plate with the need for an emotional energy that can be beyond our capacity. But this is the very reason that you cannot afford to neglect this journey. In fact, the reminders, reflections, and discoveries that you will find within these pages will give you back time, and help you to be more effective and productive.
In Chapters 1 and 2, we will explore how the power of love and connection can impact an education system in a life-changing way. According to the Aspen Institute (2018),
Schools must be safe, welcoming, and supportive spaces for student to learn and for them to feel a sense of belonging and the freedom to develop their own identity and sense of self. . . . Indeed, the greatness of public education lies in its promise to take all individuals and provide them with the opportunity to build the life they want. (pp. 1, 3)
As educators, we have the responsibility for creating an environment that will lead to a fulfilment of this promise for our students. I hope that these chapters will encourage you to value this responsibility. In Chapters 3–7, I present social and emotional learning as a process in which all of the human beings within the school system interact with compassion, sincere curiosity, high expectations, and respect in a way that builds relationships, fosters academic achievement, and provides for success in school and life. You will discover that social and emotional learning is not something to be added to your plate. It is your plate! In these chapters, I introduce various components of social, emotional, and academic development with applicable anecdotes and practical suggestions. Finally, Chapter 8 will both challenge you and validate the responsibility that lies in your hands as a person who has chosen to interact with young people on a daily basis. By the time you close this book, I hope you will be inspired with purpose and positivity, both personally and professionally, and will want to put into practice what you’ve learned.
Please consider this book as a conversation between us. I challenge you to invest in the conversation by leaving the periphery as the reader and interacting as a participant. Throughout the journey, you’ll recognize the valuable qualities that already reside in your mind and heart; the messages found within the pages of this book are not unfamiliar to you. Rather, each word of encouragement, challenge, and guidance is meant to awaken and inspire your soul. There will be opportunities for you to write in this book: to reflect on your life, your experiences, and your instructional practices; to brainstorm with others; and to put specific ideas into practice. As I share anecdotes, experiences, philosophies, and strategies, I do not claim to have all of the answers. What I do claim is to be a person with a heart full of love and a desire to inspire all people within the school community to create connections with each other while exploring and embedding social, emotional, and academic learning principles into daily actions and behaviors. When we do this, we have an opportunity to make today a better day for ourselves and for our students. When we do this, we invest in each other so that the learning and living that takes place in our schools is inspired, engaging, and contagious. And, finally, when we do this, when we start with the heart, we honor humanity and value relationships, so that no human being feels as if he or she must sleep on a park bench, alone in the cold.
Chapter 1 It’s About the People A “Meeting Them Where They Are” Mentality
When it comes to what matters in life, we all know it is about the people, not the things. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a life-changing event, such as a serious illness or the death of a loved one, for us to appreciate that fact. We often get so caught up in the responsibilities of our everyday lives that we begin to focus on the “things” in our lives without even realizing it. We become preoccupied with checking off the tasks on our to-do lists, playing catch-up with household chores, or completing school-related work that spills over into the afternoons or weekends, and we neglect what is right there in front of us: people. More often than not, it is the people we are closest to whom we neglect the most. I speak from experience. There were times in my professional life as an administrator when I was so focused on completing evaluations or gathering data for accreditation that I unintentionally, and sometimes even subconsciously, neglected my husband and children. There were times when I was physically present but emotionally removed. As much as I would be disappointed in myself when I realized what I was doing, I also understood that I am human and sometimes needed a reminder to keep my priorities in order. Fortunately, my husband, who often knows me better than I know myself, was there to remind me.
It’s About the People
Consider this chapter the reminder you may need. It is always and should always be about the people. Let’s not wait for those extreme moments of illness, loss, or grief to trigger a wake-up call. As we set out on a journey to start with the heart, let’s begin with our personal lives and consider those who are important to us. As I suggested in the introduction, throughout this book I will provide opportunities for reflection. Take time right now to reflect on and acknowledge the people in your personal life who are important and why they matter to you:
The People in Your Personal Life
Name: Reason:
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