students where they are” mentality in order to help them see their potential. Mrs. Nicoll’s reflection below is evidence of the positive difference this mentality can make in the life of a child:
Defeated, angry, deflated. These are the words that described Charlie the first time I met him. It was the summer of 2016 and Charlie was ready to drop out of high school and throw his life away. “I’ll get some job and just work every day until I die.” His outlook on what his life would be was dismal. He didn’t believe success and accomplishment were things he could achieve in life; he didn’t believe he deserved to have good things happen to him because his life up until this point had been a journey of pain, loss, and disappointment. Charlie had always struggled in school and had yet to feel any level of success when it came to school or life. The moment I met Charlie, I knew he had the potential to be something amazing, but I also knew he had no idea he had this potential inside of him. This is where our journey began. I had to get Charlie to see himself the way I saw him, but to do this he had to trust me. I had to gain his trust, so that he could start to see himself through a different lens. He had to believe that he deserved success. To say he didn’t trust me in the beginning would be a vast understatement. He was guarded and detached. He tested me with every opportunity he was given. Charlie had very few adults in his life that actually followed through on promises and let their actions speak rather than just words. I told Charlie I would never give up on him and I meant that to my very core. Throughout the years together, Charlie began to see that I meant what I said and I did what I promised. On some days, he would confide in me and give me insights into his life and mindset; he began to see that his past did not define him and that I could accept him for who he was without judgment or ridicule. On other days, he would push me away, shut me down, and close me out, yet my expectations for him never changed and he began to thrive on that consistency of high expectations and unconditional love. Every day was a new day, so no matter how we ended our day together yesterday, I welcomed him with a smile and appreciation. Slowly, Charlie began to experience small amounts of success; finishing an essay, creating a resume. Then the success became bigger; earning credits, having employers calling him to offer him jobs and, ultimately, Charlie graduated from high school in the spring of 2018. Charlie achieved something that two years prior was unattainable, a pipe dream. Today is a new day, and today Charlie can be described as confident, capable, changed.
Many Administrators and Teachers Do Not Look Like Our Students
Kat and Charlie were students living lives outside of school unlike my own, or that of my staff. This, in and of itself, is another challenge facing the educational system today, making it more difficult to create connections or better understand the human beings with whom we work. An undeniable fact in our nation is that many administrators and teachers do not look like their students. We often don’t come from the same lifestyles or experience the same hardships; we cannot claim the same familial experiences or customs. As a result, we may lack cultural or linguistic competence or can have implicit biases—beliefs or attitudes against a person or group of people of which we are completely unaware. In this instance, first and foremost, we must acknowledge this reality. Michelle Alexander (2012), author of The New Jim Crow, notes that, “Decades of cognitive bias research demonstrates that both unconscious and conscious biases lead to discriminatory actions, even when an individual does not want to discriminate” (p. 106). Sometimes this acknowledgment can be as simple as admitting to our students that we may not understand their perspectives or experiences and therefore would appreciate their guidance.
Having this type of awareness schoolwide is imperative as implementation of social, emotional, and academic development (SEAD) philosophies and programs proceed, because such efforts will be ineffective if the potential for bias and discrimination is ignored. In fact, Gregory and Fergus (2017) suggest that “the prevailing understanding of SEL [social and emotional learning] is ‘colorblind’ and doesn’t take power, privilege, and culture into account” (p. 118).
Knowledge and Awareness Are Powerful Allies
We may be hesitant to admit that we, as human beings who have chosen a caring profession, might be inherently prejudiced or discriminatory, but we must take time to consider this possibility. I reflect on the wisdom that can be found in the cliché “You don’t know what you don’t know.” Probably the best guidance a mentor gave me during my first year as an administrator was to “talk less and listen more” as a direct response to this cliché. All professionals, regardless of their role in education, can benefit from this advice. Once in this “listening” state, we can set out to educate ourselves because there is much for us to learn. For example, many people are not aware that
black youth are two to three times more likely than white youth to be suspended. Similar disparities occur between male and female students; still, in many schools the suspension rate for black female students surpasses the rates for male students who aren’t black (Gregory & Fergus, 2017, p. 119).
There is a disproportionality for Latinx students, too, when compared to their non-Latinx white peers. According to Joy Pastan Greenberg (2012), “[Latinx] students have higher retention and suspension/expulsion rates, higher high school dropout rates, and lower completion of college rates that their white counterparts” (p. 75).
And, what about students who are eligible for special education, or those living in poverty—regardless of race, or students who identify as transgender? Studies have found disparities in these subpopulations, and others, as well. Do you think if more educators became aware of the data that expose such disproportionalities, they might be fairer when doling out classroom or administrative discipline? I do. Based on my observations in various school settings, explicit bias—that is, outright and conscious bias—is not prevalent. In fact, I firmly believe that the majority of teachers and administrators do not deliberately choose to show bias, or to be intentionally partial to one student over another, but statistics prove that such bias and partiality happen commonly and consistently (Skiba et al., 2011).
Knowledge and awareness are powerful allies in creating school environments that are inviting, positive, and engaging. Setting schoolwide norms of high expectations that provide opportunities for staff and students to teach each other about cultural and familial customs, to communicate views and needs assertively, and to listen respectfully can contribute to an empathetic school culture, one that promotes genuine acceptance, an appreciation for diversity, and an awareness of situations in which we revert to subconscious biases.
We must also be aware of situations in which we offend, or seem to offend, a student or colleague. Most of us have been in situations in which we felt that we may have offended another person. We may not even be sure of what we did or said to offend; but we can certainly feel the aloofness that appears out of nowhere or a new attitude that is discernably different and appears rude or demonstrates without words when we have offended someone. When we sense this, no harm can come from our expressing a sincere apology for anything we may have inadvertently said or done to insult or hurt another. More than once, I have found myself saying something like this to a student, parent, or guardian: “I have a feeling I may have offended you. Please know that this was not my intention. Is there anything you can tell me to help me to be more understanding in the future?” To put oneself on the line in such a way takes vulnerability, but this can be a leadership strength that facilitates a positive outcome. More often than not, the other person offers an explanation and any tension in the room dissipates so that we’re able to move forward with clarity and consideration.
When People Feel Respected They Are More Likely to Engage
In a similar light, respect—or the lack thereof—can have an impact on our ability to unify or understand each other’s perspectives. In my work as a school climate specialist, I spend a great deal of time coaching school leaders and interacting with staff and students. When it comes to respect (which tends to be a school improvement
