not students can tell me that respect is a value of the school, but they have difficulty describing what it looks like or defining it because the definition or description of respect can differ depending on our familial culture and traditions, as well as our life experiences. Kids who grow up defensive, or associated with gangs, may see respect as fear, while people who experience family life with an emphasis on old-fashioned values may describe respect as having proper manners or admiration for another. Respect in some cultures requires that you look someone in the eye when speaking, while in other cultures young people show respect to their elders by casting their eyes downward. In a school culture, norms and expectations for respect may need to be identified, established, and reinforced. It is necessary to remedy any confusion around respect in our quest to connect with all stakeholders within our school community. It may be important to identify the need to code-switch by acknowledging the difference between what respect looks like at home and what it looks like at school.
In fact, an inspiring and passionate elementary teacher, Krystal Koontz, uses the analogy of a backpack to help her students think about this issue. She asks her students, “What character traits and behaviors do you need in your backpack at home to demonstrate respect. Now think about this: How does what you put in your backpack in regard to respectful traits and behaviors change for school?” In regard to respect, some of our students need two completely different backpacks.
I notice that when people feel respected they are more likely to engage, interact, listen, and speak up. They are prone to volunteer and are more willing to trust if an air of respect is present. Yet, in order to reach this ideal in a group of diverse people, it is important to agree on what respect looks like within the school community. Because we all come from different perspectives, everyone should have an opportunity to have input in developing a definition or guiding principles for respect. Through surveys, focus groups, and personal interviews, we can gather data in the form of thoughts, views, and perceptions. I have seen schools create exciting celebrations when they reveal the school’s new code of respect. And within this celebration is a group of people experiencing camaraderie, unity, and joy.
Keep in mind that it is not measurable objectives, an innovative curriculum, or required testing that leads to this camaraderie, unity, and joy (all of which are essential to a positive school climate). It is the result of people coming together to exchange ideas and engage each other in conversation. If we, as educators, expect to engage our students so that they are excited to learn, if we desire to build productive and collegial relationships with our peers, and if we seek to develop constructive conversations with parents and guardians, then a positive climate based on sincere human relationships and a willingness to understand the perspective of others must come before instruction, training, and assessment.
A concerted effort toward connection with colleagues, as well as a comprehensive program that emphasizes social, emotional, and academic development mindsets and competencies can create a positive school climate and a culture of thoughts and behaviors that contribute to success in school and in life. Throughout this book you will be asked to consider and implement strategies based on a combination of competencies established by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, as well as perspectives and recommendations from the Aspen Institute’s National Commission on Social, Emotional, and Academic Development.
Take From This Book What Works
From the candid viewpoint of my past experience as a teacher and an administrator, as well as my current work as an educational consultant and leadership coach, I find that an open-minded approach, with an analysis and consideration of district or site-based needs, provides for the most effective results. In essence, I encourage you to consider your staff, students, and school community: Take from this book what works for you, and feel free to leave the rest. I do not purport to offer all things to all people. In fact, I have found that such an approach is usually ineffective. However, I do maintain that if we start with the people, and assess needs from there, we have a better chance for success. After all, when it comes down to what makes an impactful difference, remember: It is always about the people, not the things.
Chapter 1 Study Questions
For Professional Learning Communities, SEAD/SEL Courses, or Book Study Groups
1 What is currently on your plate that causes you to neglect what or who you value? Do you have a person in your life who reminds you to keep your priorities in order? If not, can you think of a person to designate?
2 How do you keep “what’s first, first?”
3 What did you notice when you considered who was not on your list? Was there a way in which this realization caused in you a desire to refocus your priorities? Please explain.
4 When you considered whose list you might be on, if specific people came to mind, please explain why you would like to be on their lists. What specific actions or ways of being do you practice that would cause another to include you on his or her list?
5 Can you speculate as to who might be on your students’ lists? Would their lists be similar to each other? Why or why not?
6 What are your strengths in regard to meeting your colleagues where they are? Do you have any areas of growth or barriers upon which to reflect? Please explain.
7 What do you do to recognize and connect with the student “behind the façade?”
8 Put yourself in the shoes of a student who is asked, “Why did you do that?” or “What were you thinking?” How would you react if a colleague asked you one of those questions?
9 Can you think of a time when it would have been productive to admit to a student that you do not understand his or her perspective or experience and would therefore appreciate guidance?
10 After respect is identified within the classroom, how might you address the need for code-switching (or the need for a separate backpack)?
Copyright © 2019 by Corwin. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Start With the Heart: Igniting Hope in Schools Through Social and Emotional Learning by Michelle L. Trujillo. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin, www.corwin.com. Reproduction authorized for educational use by educators, local school sites, and/or noncommercial or nonprofit entities that have purchased the book.
Chapter 2 A Foundation of Love 7 Keys to Connection
Telsche Hipple is a phenomenal teacher! She has a way of connecting with students that is natural, meaningful, and, in my mind, life-changing. I asked Mrs. Hipple to share an example of a student connection that was initially challenging, but ultimately significant, as well as the basis of that connection, to help my readers gain insight from a teacher’s perspective. This is her story about a student she refers to as Rees:
Rees was tough. She had an intimidating personality. She came across as knowing what she wanted and how she was going to get it. She had been expelled from school for fighting and she wore it proudly. Rees was not about to let anyone into her personal sphere. As her teacher, I didn’t have a strategy other than to let her know that I loved her and I wanted to see her succeed, and maybe even help her realize she didn’t have to fight her way through life.
I began to gain Rees’s trust a bit as I praised her efforts in her studies and let her know that I was concerned when
