it may lead them to believe in themselves, too. As an administrator who worked in alternative education, I interacted with a majority of students who had not been successful in their previous schools. In their own minds, for whatever reason, they saw themselves as failures. So, when our students would say, “I can’t,” or “There’s no way,” or “You just don’t understand,” my staff and I would find something that we could believe in for them. Even if it was initially difficult to come up with a strength, we would take a dominant behavior trait and turn it into something positive. Their stubbornness, for example, we saw as determination, or their anger, as passion. For example, a student who was always arguing to get his point across, would elicit this type of response from a teacher: “Johnny, I love your perseverance. You know what you want and that quality will take you far in life. However, we need to work together on fighting for what you want in a respectful way.” When we let our students know that we saw a strength within them, we connect with a small piece of them they didn’t even realize existed. Whatever it was we found to believe in, my staff and I would tell our kids, “We believe in you, regardless! So, grab on to our belief, until you can begin to believe in yourself.” And, eventually, they did!
I Didn’t Know I Was Smart
I remember one student in particular, McKayla, an incredibly special young woman. She came to us as at the beginning of her senior year in high school. She had been homeless and had difficulty fitting in at the traditional high school. She was certain that she would not graduate unless she changed schools. From the moment she stepped on our campus, she worked diligently and kept her eye on graduation. And it paid off. As the year drew to a close, McKayla’s name rose to the top of the list as the graduating class’s valedictorian. I remember calling her into my office with another staff member who was a mentor to her. I was so excited to surprise her with the news and expected her to jump up and down with joy. Instead, she covered her face with her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks. Then she looked at us silently for a moment, her face red and filled with disbelief. She said, “I didn’t know I was smart.” Our response in unison was, “We did!” We all laughed and celebrated together, and McKayla finally believed.
There may be adults in our lives, too—colleagues, employees, or employers—who struggle with their confidence or sense of self. Paying someone a compliment or verbally recognizing a positive behavior or trait will help a person begin to acknowledge his or her own worth and feel valued by others. It will also open the door to positive communication and genuine connection.
Please take time to consider the 7 Keys to Connection and acknowledge at least one way in which you will make a concerted effort to connect with others in a meaningful way.
The 7 Keys to Connection
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With colleagues:
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With friends or family:
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With acquaintances or strangers:
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Copyright © 2019 by Corwin. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Start With the Heart: Igniting Hope in Schools Through Social and Emotional Learning by Michelle L. Trujillo. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin, www.corwin.com. Reproduction authorized for educational use by educators, local school sites, and/or noncommercial or nonprofit entities that have purchased the book.
When we sincerely connect with others, motivated by our desire to love human beings in a committed and intentional way, we light a spark that helps people begin to experience happiness and believe in themselves. This spark can ignite hope that leads to social, emotional, and academic development.
Social, Emotional, and Academic Development—A Comprehensive Process
So, what exactly is social, emotional, and academic development (SEAD)? It is a comprehensive process by which specific skills and competencies are modeled, taught, and embedded into classroom and schoolwide norms. These noncognitive skills and competencies can include the ability to understand and manage emotions; demonstrate empathy and an appreciation for diversity; establish and maintain relationships; and make responsible decisions, including setting and achieving goals. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) created a systemic framework that defines these competencies as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.
According to the Aspen Institute National Commission on Social, Emotional, and Academic Development (2017a), schools have significant influence over SEAD in the realm of understanding, modeling, and teaching necessary skills and behaviors. As such, when social and emotional learning (SEL) is fully integrated into the educational system, it has proven to have a positive effect on academic achievement, graduation outcomes, and workplace readiness.
Academics and the Well-Being of Students Improve
Researchers from the University of Loyola,
