More What Do I Do When...?. Allen N.. Mendler
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Principle 6: Good Discipline Is Not Just Procedures, Rules, and Consequences: It Is a Vision Guided by Educational Goals and Grounded in Values and Principles
Rules viewed as “stupid” are unlikely to be followed, especially among students who have little interest or incentive for being compliant. In order for rules to work they must make sense, and in order for them to make sense they need to be tied to a value or principle—that is, the purpose served by the rule. Rules are about treating each other in ways that permit learning to take place. For students, rules should provide guidelines for defining what we are expected to do and how to make it happen. Values relate to the reasons why we treat people the way we do, and they are necessarily general and broad in scope. Values provide students with an answer to why they are expected to follow the rules. In the educational environment it is important that the values we emphasize most are those that affect teaching and learning in a positive way. An example of a value is “students should be and feel safe at all times.” This is a value because learning cannot successfully take place in an environment where students feel in danger and cannot give attention to their work. Another value, “racism, bigotry, sexism, and anti–any group–ism are not welcome,” supports rules that protect students from harassment because a harassed student is unable to learn to his or her full potential. Our schools must define their larger purpose or vision and then settle upon the values that are inherent in accomplishing that vision. Rules and procedures are the specific requirements that characterize proper behavior. We must ask ourselves what we need in our classrooms and schools to ensure that maximum teaching and learning occur. Each teacher must know the values he or she needs to promote in order for teaching and learning to occur in the classroom. Classroom rules and procedures should then be tied directly to those values.
Principle 7: We Have the Most Control Over Our Own Behavior, So We Must Set an Example by Reflecting the Type of Behavior We Expect From Students
Let students see us living by the same code of behavior we expect from them. When assigning homework, we need to promptly do our own homework by returning their work to them as quickly as possible. If we want students to be there for each other, we need to be visible in the halls and make sure that they see us being there for them. If we really want students to learn responsibility, we need to show them that we trust their abilities to make some of the key classroom decisions. When conflict occurs, let them see us implement solutions that are respectful, nonviolent, and verbally nonaggressive. To promote friendliness, we need to have a smile on our face as we greet them into the room. When students show us disrespect and make us angry, we need to show them how to express disapproval firmly, yet with dignity. It can be powerful for students to see us as capable and strong without being brutal when our well-being or their well-being is threatened. We need to expect at least as much of ourselves as we do of them. We need to be ready to teach when the bell rings, know our stuff, and show the same kind of enthusiasm we would like to see from them. Let them see us as a model of how we want them to be. We gain credibility with our students by “walking the talk.”
Principle 8: Treat Ourselves, Other Educators, Parents, and Students With Respect and Dignity
It is difficult to be dignified with students who are offensive, disobedient, unmotivated, and intimidating. However, if we submit to the impulse to attack or run away, we lose the opportunity to demonstrate how to effectively manage challenging behavior. As noted above, we only gain credibility when students see us “walking the talk.” Showing aggression toward students rarely succeeds in getting them to follow the rules, and virtually always increases the risk of losing them to anger and resentment. A simple test to determine dignity is to imagine being at the receiving end of any method of discipline or correction. For example, how would you feel if your principal forced you to publicly apologize for missing a meeting or wrote your name with a checkmark next to it during a faculty meeting for “off-task” talking? It is important to ask if personal dignity would be assailed or left intact if someone applied the same method on us to influence our behavior. Ways of communicating dignity to our students include listening to what students think, encouraging their feedback, using “I” messages to communicate our feelings to them, apologizing after acting in a hurtful way, explaining why we want something done a certain way and how that will likely be of benefit to your students, and giving them some voice in classroom affairs. The message we want to convey is: We value who you are. If you behave in an unacceptable way you will be treated in a firm, respectful manner, and you will be held accountable for your actions.
HOW TO EFFECTIVELY USE THIS BOOK
MORE What Do I Do When … ? provides practical, specific tips for discipline prevention and intervention. Use the strategies as described or modify them to more closely fit your situation, keeping in mind that not all strategies work with all students. There is not a “one size fits all method” to fix all behavior problems. You can use the principles in this book as a framework to help you develop new methods. You are likely to improve classroom discipline if you allow your interactive moments and classroom structure to be guided by those principles. In an effort to make MORE What Do I Do When … ? as user-friendly as possible, the tips on prevention are grouped into four categories:
• Tips for welcoming students
• Tips for establishing effective rules and consequences
• Tips for promoting responsibility and problem-solving methods
• Tips for motivating students
The tips for intervention are grouped into three categories:
• Tips for handling tough moments
• Tips for handling difficult situations
• Tips for helping students handle tough moments and difficult situations
The concluding section of this book consists of frequently asked questions and answers on classroom behavior and provides practical and resourceful tips for handling specific problems and circumstances.
Part 1
Prevention, Intervention, and Choosing a Discipline Method
1 Introduction to Strategies
Managing student behavior … is a delicate balance between maintaining social order and meeting the unique needs of each student.
—Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler
(Discipline With Dignity, 1988, 1999)
In the original Discipline With Dignity (Curwin & Mendler, 1988, 1999), a “three dimensional discipline” model was presented with three components: prevention, action, and resolution. We suggested numerous ways to prevent problems from occurring, to act when problems occur, and to resolve issues with more challenging students. In daily classroom life, two types of strategies make for effective discipline—prevention and intervention. Prevention involves understanding why students behave inappropriately and then doing things to prevent problems. After problems occur, prevention is also