More What Do I Do When...?. Allen N.. Mendler
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Working conditions matter! Just as there are limits to the effectiveness of an inspirational speaker in promoting learning among adults when working conditions are poor, there will also be limits to learning responsible behavior by the degree to which students feel welcome. The classroom environment sends subliminal messages to students, telling them how important we think they are. Although the way we arrange our classrooms may vary to reflect our content area and style of teaching, certain characteristics are agreeable in most every educational environment. Most individuals want to hear and see adequately, and feel physically comfortable. When concentration is required, people prefer not to be distracted by unnecessary interruptions. They like to be greeted in a personal way and respected for their opinions. They like a clean, pleasant, well-lighted place that conveys a sense of friendliness.
As you set up your classroom, be guided by what you find welcoming. For example, what makes you shop in certain stores? How do the employees treat you while you are in the store? Are they friendly, or do they ignore you? Does it depend, and what does it depend upon? What is the lighting like? Is there music in the background? Are the walls plain or decorated? What is the quality of the merchandise? Are you allowed to handle things, or are you even encouraged to handle things? Do you have to wait very long for assistance or is the service accommodating?
How do the characteristics above relate to your classroom? Which aspects do you believe you can arrange that would be conducive to the learning that needs to go on in the classroom? Most people learn best when they like being where they are.
LET “TLC” BE YOUR GUIDE
The usual definition of TLC has been adapted by Kindlon (2003) to mean time, limits, and caring. Although Kindlon provides this advice to parents, the same applies to educators: To be successful with your students, be guided by these three basics of TLC. The time element is very difficult during an era in which we are too often expected to be everything to everyone. The mantra of our time is to meet disparate student needs while making sure that they all achieve high standards. While time is at a premium, it is the greatest gift that we can offer our students. The gift is an extra moment to say hello, offer a high five, or provide help without being asked. The gift is taking that extra moment to recognize and acknowledge when a student seems troubled or to acknowledge when a troubling student has been behaving. A high-school teacher at a recent seminar shared her “2 × 180 strategy.” She acknowledges each student for at least 2 seconds every day during the course of the 180-day school year (see page 33). Limits require that we establish a safe, predictable classroom structure complete with the routines and procedures associated with academic success. Limits are based on the values that are needed for learning to flourish. These include safety, respect, compassion, and responsibility. Finally, caring requires that we put a higher value on the students we teach than on the content they are expected to learn. Caring is best conveyed by noticing students on a regular basis. This can be as simple as saying, “I notice you have a red shirt on today.” Each day, complete the following simple sentence with each of your students as they are arriving, departing, or during class: “(Student’s name), I notice that you …”
A community sense of TLC develops when we help students look out for each other. Create opportunities for your students to serve others as helpers. Peer group tutoring and older students guiding younger students are a few simple ways to achieve this at school. Students who lack nurturing are actually nurtured while they foster others.
SHARING APPRECIATION
Appreciation Day. Getting students to appreciate each other is a good way to prevent discipline problems. There are many ways to do this. You could place a picture of each of your students along with his or her name on a large sheet of newsprint. Explain that each day one student’s picture will be selected to hang on the bulletin board. Tell them that during certain times of the day (less structured times are best to minimize distractions), any student may go to the poster and write a statement that begins “One thing I like about you is …” Students could also draw pictures expressing their caring or appreciation of this student. No put-downs are allowed. Before the end of the school day, take a few minutes to permit students to file past the poster, and encourage them to read each statement or describe a drawing that they made on this poster. When finished, ask if there are any further expressions of appreciation. When the process is completed, put the child’s poster away until his turn comes up again. After two rounds, allow each student the option of taking the poster home or displaying it in school.
The nice things list. With older students, do something similar to an activity first written about by a teacher, Helen Mrosla (Canfield & Hansen, 1993) in Chicken Soup for the Soul. Ask students to list the names of the other students in the class on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Tell them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. Collect all papers, and on a separate sheet of paper list each student’s name followed by the things that everyone wrote about that individual. Then give students their papers to keep as a reminder that they are appreciated.
Kindness pail. Sally Levine, a first-grade teacher in Des Moines, Iowa, encourages students to observe little moments of kindness done by each other and to write or draw about these moments on a piece of paper. She then asks children to put their written “kindnesses” in a pail; every day before school ends, she reads a few of them. Ms. Levine noted that it seemed that some of her children would often receive many notes while others received very few. She suggests that it works well to encourage the children who receive many kind comments to share kind remarks about children who receive very few. She might say to them, “It is so wonderful that so many nice things are written about you, and all of them are true. You must feel very special hearing all those nice things. As the kind person that you are, I am going to ask you to do one more kindness. I am noticing that since _____ (give names of children who get very few) don’t get very many kindness comments, it would help them feel special if you could think of something kind to write or draw about _____. Can I count on you to be especially kind in that way?”
Kindness link. A middle-school teacher attending one of my seminars told how her school encourages students to write down (on strips of colored paper) acts of kindness that they have seen or experienced. The hallway and cafeteria are decorated with these strips, which are linked together to form a chain.
“RB” time (relationship building). Make it easier on yourself and invest time for relationship-building every day. What you say or do does not have to be fancy—just saying hello to students as they enter the room, greeting them with a smile on your face, asking them how they are, or noticing something about how they look often tends to get the students “on your side.” Offer a pat on the back and an encouraging “you can do it.” When you show your students you are as concerned with who they are as with how well they do, it becomes much easier to gain their interest, respect, and compliance. Best of all, it only takes a few seconds to express something individual and