Study Buddies
At the beginning of the year or semester, many teachers set students up with a semipermanent study buddy who takes responsibility for the success of his or her partner in that class. The students share phone numbers and email addresses so they can call, text, and email. When done well, study buddies tend to form a sibling-like relationship. As a teacher, create stakes in the relationship. Say, “If you want an A or B, you must help your partner get an A or B.” If one passes a test and the other does not, it’s a shared failure. A teacher who uses this strategy finds it helps students at the secondary level build relationships and learn to help one another.
One way to assign study buddies is to have students write out a passion related to the subject area on an index card. Using language arts as an example, you could have students complete the statement, “What I think needs changing in this world …” Collect the cards and sort students into similar interests and passions. That year or semester, students will work with another kindred soul who shares the same passion for change or a specific topic (Henderson, 2012).
If students don’t want to work with the partner you assigned, give them some more time and new tools. Allocate relational time in your class to help students get to know their partner. Use simple one- to two-minute activities, and rotate them. For example, students could discuss each other’s academic strengths, areas where they need help, or something that was important to them while growing up. These question activities help students build trust with others and give them a moment to exchange likes and dislikes. Additionally, pairing this activity helps with communication and conflict-resolution skills. Changing partners won’t solve the problem if a student doesn’t have the social skills to work with a partner.
When conflict arises, here are five basic partner steps for students when practicing conflict resolution.
1. “I feel”: “I feel discouraged and disconnected when you don’t talk during our partner time.”
2. “When that happens”: “When that happens, we don’t solve problems or learn what we need to know. Yesterday, I really needed help in class.”
3. “I need”: “I need to know we can work together, can we?”
4. “Listen”: Now, the one who just spoke will listen to his or her partner.
5. “Review and resolve”: “To review, what you’re saying is … To resolve it, how about if we do this one thing differently each time we work together and see what happens?”
Study buddies should sit next to each other in class and share key content as well as be a cheerleader for the other. They will each know the other’s progress and be mindful of changes in progress. Both can sign off on this process with their parents and the teacher. Give students time to make plans for what to do next after getting feedback on a quiz or any other formative assessment.
Student Mentors
Student mentors are also powerful. Every student can benefit from receiving guidance, encouragement, and leadership from someone who has more experience. Fourth graders can mentor second graders, eighth graders can mentor sixth graders, and eleventh graders can mentor ninth or tenth graders.
For secondary students, set up a partnership with local colleges or universities for undergraduates to mentor (or tutor) juniors and seniors. For example, undergraduates can tutor students for forty-five minutes after school. High-poverty schools in Los Angeles used collegiate mentors for fourth and fifth graders with solid success (Coller & Kuo, 2014), noting that mentoring programs appear to be useful in promoting social relationships (with parents, mentors, or peers) and reducing conflict. Other mentoring programs have shown significant positive changes in youths’ relationships with parents and teachers and were significantly associated with better youth outcomes, including self-esteem, academic attitudes, prosocial behaviors, and less misconduct (Chan et al., 2013). Check out appendix A (visit go.SolutionTree.com/instruction) for several resources about mentoring.
Temporary Partners
Even well-managed teams and partners can get stale, so to freshen up the learning and social experience, teachers can use temporary partners. One way to effect this is to engage elementary or secondary students in a simple walk-and-talk activity:
Oh! I’ve got a great idea that should only take a minute. Please stand up. Great! Now, when the music begins, and I say, “Go,” please touch three walls and four chairs that are not your own. Once you get to the spot, wait for further directions. “Ready, set, go!”’
Now that you’re in a new spot, look around, point to the person nearest you, and say, “You’re it!”’ If you still need a partner, raise your hand. That new person will be your temporary neighbor for the next sixty seconds. Now that you have a partner, here’s your challenge. Earlier we were discussing ____________. and it’s time to finish that.
You can then introduce the activity, such as students acting out a pro-and-con role, summarizing key points of the lesson, creating deeper and more interesting questions, or sharing what they know and need to learn. Once students finish the activity, they raise their hands. When all students have finished, ask them to thank their partners, using their first names, and head back to their seats. To further engage students, you can use music as a cue to end the activity and move forward.
CHAPTER 3
SHOW EMPATHY
Many teachers struggle with providing students with what they need the most—someone who cares about their personal life as much as their school progress. As we know, bad things happen to everyone. However, students from poverty may not have the cognitive skills, emotional support, or coping skills necessary to deal with adversity.
The key isn’t to be sympathetic but to show empathy and provide tools. You see, sympathy is the ability to understand another with feelings of sorrow for their misfortune. Empathy is a bit different; it is the ability to understand and share the same feelings. The good news is, empathy is something you can learn (Schumann, Zaki, & Dweck, 2014). This chapter offers strategies to help you understand the need for empathy, tools for offering students empathetic responses, and three quick-connect tools for making empathetic connections with students.
Understand the Need for Empathy
First, it’s critical to understand why your students need your empathy. Quality relationships form the bedrock and foundation of emotional stability. An alarming three out of four students in poverty do not have cohabitating parents at home (U.S. Census Bureau, n.d.a). Students don’t need to be told their lives are tough; they often need a caring adult or a shoulder to lean on and an empathic teacher who listens. When students do not get support and empathy, they have more than just hurt feelings; they have stress. Students from poor families typically experience more stressors and have fewer skills to cope with that stress (Evans & Kim, 2007). Students of color are also more likely to experience chronic stress (Brody, Lei, Chen, & Miller, 2014). (Note that in addition to the empathy tools in this chapter, I offer some stress-management strategies to maintain student engagement in chapter 16, page 163.)
Some cautious generalizations about the developing brain would be “More brain matter is better than less” and “Clear, high-volume pathways are better than inefficient pathways.” These generalizations matter
