see that as an indicator of caring and wanting to be there. And as the old saying goes, the early bird gets the worm!!4 4. Do your part to maintain a healthy conversation when talking to others. More goes into holding a great conversation than people think. Giving someone your undivided attention while conversing is one of the most respectful things you can do, and it doesn’t involve much effort at all. Be a good listener and responder, make sure you are paying attention to what they are saying. In conversation, there is nothing worse than asking someone a question, then seconds later having to repeat it again. Being responsive to what someone says not only shows that you’re listening but that you care about what they are saying. Always remember to make eye contact, listen, and respond – this will maintain great conversations for people to remember you by and build relationships.
5 5. Smile more, especially when out and about. Nothing is more heartwarming than seeing a genuine smile on someone’s face. Also, try to make others smile by being nice and courteous. Positivity radiates through people and inspires us all to be better. Making someone smile can bring joy to your heart and make you smile as well. Many say I have a smile that could brighten up the darkest valleys, and a compliment like that makes me smile even more!
6 6. Being well-mannered is one of the most important traits of being a gentleman. Opening the door for someone, waiting to eat until your other guests have been served, walking to your date’s door, and speaking politely are all different ways you can show your manners. Dressing well is also a form of good manners. When you dress well for something like a date or a work or family function, you are showing those in attendance that you not only care about yourself, but that you have enough manners to dress for the occasion. Be the guy that everyone looks forward to seeing when you show up!
7 7. Be non-judgmental, non-racist, non-homophobic, and non-misogynistic. To me there is nothing worse than someone who views themselves as superior because of their financial status, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This is unacceptable and inexcusable. This does not even need to be drawn out in detail for you. If you have a problem with people because of their race, financial status, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, then you are NOT a GENTLEMAN! In order to be a gentleman, you need to accept everyone. I didn’t say AGREE with everyone, I said ACCEPT everyone. We are all different, but we are all human beings and should be treated as such. Having love for humanity is the most important trait to have as a gentleman.
8 8. Be confident but humble. Confidence is beautiful and always helps in conquering the obstacles in life, but cockiness will get you in a place where no one wants to be. It’s okay to have confidence in your ability to do something, but always be humble enough to know that someone out there is always better. Be the best you can be and don’t worry about others. My dad used to tell me, “Nothing is more humbling than life itself.” It’s true, we are never promised our health, life, or current situation, so always be thankful. Staying humble is a way of being thankful for what you have accomplished in life. Continue to be confidently humble and the path to success will be yours, with some hard work along the way.
9 9. Decisiveness is a great trait to have as well. Take control of your life, body, and career! Think about it this way, it’s either one day or day one. We all have those “one day” moments, like one day I’m going to open that coffee shop, one day I’m going to wear this outfit, one day I’m going to start a fashion blog, or one day I’m going to love myself. Instead of saying one day, say day one. Today is day one of loving myself, day one of my coffee shop opening, day one of my fashion blog, and this is day one of me wearing this outfit! Day one means you have made a decision to go ahead and follow that passion and take control. Be decisive and own who you are.
10 10. Practice good grooming habits. Some men view grooming as being something feminine, and that’s not true at all. Grooming is life. Being well-groomed will help you feel more confident while also taking care of yourself. We only get one body so it’s important to cherish it and treat it well. Getting haircuts and shaving or trimming your beard can help you develop your facial presence. I’m known for having a clean-shaven head and an impeccable beard. I groom my beard thoroughly, I use beard shampoo, beard conditioner, beard balm, and a beard serum. Trimming, brushing, and combing also help maintain the shape I want. Don’t be afraid to invest in some quality products to up your grooming game; grooming is good, trust me.
11 11. Last but not least, have passion and ambition. As a gentleman in the modern world, you should always have the ambition to improve and the passion to balance it. A wise man once said, “If a man stands for nothing, then he will fall for anything.” Have ambition, stand for something, and have passion to back it up. It’s okay to believe that black lives matter and in equality for all and women’s rights. Be passionate and have ambition to change the world for our future generations – doing so doesn’t make you any less of a man. It makes you a gentleman. The kind of gentleman the world needs right now, more than ever!
Black, bald and beautiful as ever.
Manners, style and body confidence is the formula for the sauce. #BauceWithSauce
I put the win in wingtips, baby.
“If you can’t love yourself, then you can’t love nobody.”
– Grandma
My grandma once told me that if you can’t love yourself, then you can’t love anyone else. I didn’t understand this when I was younger, but now as an adult, I understand it with emphasis. You see, it’s hard for people to always see the negative in themselves while trying to see the positives in another person. Love is “uncondishy” –especially self-love. Your body is going to change, your opinion about certain topics will change, and most importantly the people around you will change. You are constantly evolving while becoming a better person and dealing with different circumstances in your life. So it only makes sense to love yourself through all these changes in your life. I would be lying to you if I said my body looks the same now as it did when I was in high school – shit, it doesn’t even look the same as last year. But that’s okay, I love my body and what it has done for me.
As a man, I have suffered from body image insecurities due to media perceptions and ideas of male beauty. Men are held to unrealistic body standards that can alter the way they feel about their bodies. Women go through it just as much, if not more, the only difference is that women have worked to have various body types shown in fashion ads and are able to be vocal about the media’s perception of beauty. One of the worst things someone can do is to silence and suppress someone’s feelings. The societal standard of masculinity has silenced men into not being vocal about their emotional issues, especially body image. So many men feel the need to look a certain way in order to be treated well by others. I can relate to the feeling of, “Well, if I had tight abs and a ripped chest, then people would like me more, and I would get more interest from people” – this mentality haunts many men! I have been on the journey to loving myself for quite some time now, and it’s not easy, but I can tell you this….if you haven’t found your worth, now is the time to do so!! You’re one of a kind, and here’s my guide to helping you love yourself.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past, that shit is real and can get the best of you. Surround
