me. I felt like being in the moment was enough for me to feel that same sense of high, and I never wanted to become dependent on anything to get me there.
For years I had eaten pretty poorly, not really thinking about my food choices or where my food had come from. I had aspired to be mindful but was still neglecting a huge part of my day-to-day life. This is the journey of a mindful path—as you continue learning and growing, you begin to incorporate more and more changes as you work toward being your best self. My girlfriend at the time (now my wife) was a vegetarian and was pretty turned off by the things I would regularly eat. I was a heavy consumer of meat, eggs, and pizza. I had always eaten food that was fast, fried, or processed without a second thought as to how it was affecting me. Part of it was the culture I had grown up around and the normalization of bad habits.
When I began to think about where my food came from, there was a level of awareness that had seemed hidden to me before. I had become so used to cultural food norms that I never stopped to realize the harm that came with my choices. That is why in the process of being mindful, it’s important to trace back what comes with our food, and to think about how it was made and the implications of those actions. For example, when we think of eating a hamburger, we see the food as simply a piece of meat that is cooked, seasoned, and eaten. However, before the meat was just meat, it was part of a cow that was born with feelings and the ability to suffer like you and me. No living being wants to die, or would choose to die if the alternative was to live freely. But when we eat, we ignore this truth because it may make us hesitate in eating the hamburger.
Some people will justify the means and say it is just the way things are, but much like with anything, we have the ability to choose to be mindful and act. We can choose to reduce harm and suffering, but that means being mindful of where our food comes from. This process of backtracking is essential if we want to be mindful and aspire to reach our highest potential, whether it’s reconsidering buying clothing that was made by slave labor, food that resulted in the unnecessary suffering of animals, or an argument we got into with someone we care about.
If we wish to truly walk a mindful path in life, we need to start with each and every step we take and ask ourselves: am I walking in a way brings kindness to those around me? This will make you a model for others who are struggling—leading by example—and will help you to become your best self.
I started to discover more and more mindfulness techniques when I watched the documentary Samsara. In one of the opening scenes, there are several Buddhist monks creating an elaborate work of art made of sand on a canvas. To make these designs, it requires several people and a meticulous sense of design to craft the patterns, curves, lines, and shapes for it. Each work of art can take several hours to create, producing a beautiful masterpiece in the end.
At the end of the documentary Samsara, something happened that made me realize the broader message that the movie was trying to portray. Once the Buddhist monks completed the artwork, they stood around and marveled in the glory of their hard work; and then they brushed it all away with brooms, instantly destroying (or as I would later discover, changing) the sand art and turning it back into what it had been originally, a canvas with unlimited possibilities.
Even after devoting all that time and energy into making the sand art, they were able to appreciate it just for a moment and then to let it go. It’s not easy to let go of something you worked hard to create, especially if you feel like you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into it. Sometimes we think it defines who we are or what our purpose is.
There was a lesson to be learned there, something I could take away with me. It was the knowledge that even though I was not a Buddhist monk but just a regular guy, I could move through life with the assertiveness to be in the moment—to experience all that it could bring me—until it was time to let it go and move on to the next one.
If you’re taking an exam for school, that moment may be letting go of the anxiety you feel when the test is over and you’re worrying about what grade you got, or how you could have answered a question better. If you’re thinking about asking someone out, that moment might be working up the courage to ask and encountering your fear of the potential rejection that may come with it. Being able to accept that, whatever happens doesn’t define you will allow you to embrace however it turns out.
And the amazing thing is, there are no limitations to what this mindset can be applied to—from managing friendship drama to getting a job you’re happy with. Where most people tend to struggle is focusing on being present, no longer worrying about what was or what will be, and the reason for that is because we don’t always have the tools to help us practice.
However, what I’ve come to learn is that you can take any activity and use it as a reminder to be in the here and the now. When I was in college, I used my walks to class as a time to focus on my feet as they touched the ground, and whenever I did that, I wasn’t worried about anything other than living in that experience. Some Buddhist monks carry around tiny little pebbles in their pockets so that whenever they stick their hands in there and feel them, they can realign their mindset to what is happening then and there. The feeling of the small pebble between their fingers, the hard, rough consistency of it, the light and almost airy weight, and any other factor that may come to their minds serve as reminders when they do this.
Even tasks in your day-to-day life can be mindfulness reminders if you allow them to be. The next time you have to do chores around the house, let’s say when it’s your job to wash the dishes, try to take in every element that you can: the warm water against your hands, the feeling of the sponge as it rubs against the plate, the sound of the water hitting the dishes, even the smell of the soap. What you’ll begin to see is that even the most dull and boring moments can be transformed into mindfulness practices.
You can also practice with everyday sounds, like the bell ringing for you to go to the next class, or the doors opening and closing on the subway as you get on. Feel the experience of that moment, breathe, and let your mind enjoy it. In some cases this won’t be easy, especially if you find yourself with other people, or if you’re really focused on an activity at hand and the last thing you want is an interruption. What it comes down to is not looking at mindfulness as a distraction from life but as an opportunity to truly be in it.
So, that’s what I want you to try. Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting on the floor with your legs crossed, trying to be one with nature—it’s simply being aware of where you are, and in that awareness, you’ll start to see that level of interbeing (a term coined by Thich Nhat Hanh) in everything around you. All of life exists with you, and everything is sharing that experience as well. A simple solution might also be to find a meditation app that will send off the sound of a bell every so often to help bring you back to the now. And what are you supposed to do if your friends are with you, trying to get your attention or just curious as to why you seemed so tuned into whatever you’re doing? Well, invite them to join you!
Some of the most rewarding experiences happen when you practice meditation and mindfulness with others. The energy of that experience can be even stronger for you if you know that others are tapping into the joy of being alive in the present moment. Forming a meditation group can be super empowering because it gives you and your friends the ability to connect on a deeper level, most likely on a much more peaceful level than you’re used to with them.
Either way, try to find a way that works for you; it can be for a few seconds a day or a few minutes a week. Let your mindfulness journey be your own—you can’t screw it up, and you can’t fail at it. See it as something safe; it’s something to turn to when everyone or everything else in the world feels like they’re at odds with you. Because at the end of the day, no matter how someone may come down on you for it, you can only approach
