hit walls, experience hiccups, and have those face-plants. It’s not what happens that matters, it’s how we choose to deal with it. The gold lies in how we get back up, dust ourselves off, and get back in the game. What we allow to influence and affect us… and what we don’t.
Our emotions are a very strong, influential, and potent form of energy. What we generate internally gets expressed and released externally; rippling out into the world, impressing upon all. What we put out into the world, comes right back to us; shaping our very reality as we know it. We teach others how to treat us.
We teach others how to treat us.
We teach others how to treat us. This goes for both human and canine, through what we permit and do not permit. What we stand for, and what we negotiate. What we allow will always continue.
How we allow others to treat us is directly related to our level of self-worth and self concept. How “good enough” we feel we are. Our level of confidence. Self-acceptance. Self-love and appreciation. Self-respect.
In learning how to establish rules, boundaries, and parameters with our dogs, we learn how to do this in our personal lives, as well; for this sets the tone for any relationship (regardless of species) and any household. Without this, lines will always be skewed, expectations gone amiss, disappointment and resentment abound, and buttons and envelopes constantly tested and pushed.
Creating and sticking to these healthy boundaries isn’t “mean”, “bad” or “cruel”, it’s necessary; and is enforced out of respect for ourselves, our dog(s), and others.
What we don’t address, we give permission to continue to occur. What we don’t disagree with automatically receives our consent. Being clear with what makes us feel comfortable and uncomfortable, and what is appropriate and inappropriate, will help everyone to get on the same page. Respect begets respect. When we respect ourselves, we won’t allow anything less from others.
Self-awareness is the gateway to change.
Humans are emotional creatures.
We develop beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and the world around us at a very early age. This becomes the very lens we start to filter our existence through, and what drives our behaviors, reactions, and responses.
Dog helps us to become more self-aware, challenging us in ways very few can; mirroring and reflecting back to us the very energy we bring into each space. They encourage us to figure out what we’ve lost, so we can dial back in, reconnect to and recover our truest nature.
The moment we become aware of how our energy affects those around us, a beautiful shift happens. We begin taking responsibility and becoming more accountable for what we’re manufacturing internally and projecting externally. Our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the words we speak all carry clues and hints as to what our dictating beliefs and operating belief systems are.
What we feel on the inside carries a vibration and current that emanates from us into the world around us. Nervousness. Anxiety. Fear. Frustration. Stress. Impatience. Anger. Insecurity. Tension. In the animal world, this energy is unbalanced and unstable. It’s not to be trusted, nor will it be respected or followed. Conversely, Calm. Patience. Confidence. Groundedness (read: unemotional). These types of energy carry a much different, more stable vibe animals naturally gravitate towards.
When we make the effort to be less REactive and more PROactive, less emotional and more grounded, less results-driven and more process-driven, we’re able to tap into that peaceful, calm space that exists within each of us. This is our truest nature.
Self-awareness doesn’t happen overnight, nor does the establishment of trust and respect. As with everything worthwhile, it’s both a daily (even momentary) practice.
Dog lovingly says: take each day as it comes. Breathe fully and deeply. It’s important we take the time to get to know ourselves on a more intimate level, addressing the beliefs and operating systems underlying our actions, reactions, and behaviors. The more we can bring ourselves into a healthy, more grounded space, the better our relationships will be: with others, our dogs, and ourselves.
A “mulligan” is a term widely used in golf to describe a “replay”. The golfer gets to take another shot without penalty.
In my mind, there’s no such thing as “failure” or “mistakes”; as these are gifts in disguise. “Teachable moments”. Opportunities to learn, grow, and begin again.
Of course, this depends greatly on the POV of the human and the lens through which he or she is viewing. We can view setbacks as exactly that, or choose a different perspective: acknowledging the lesson and readjusting our approach.
Dogs live in the moment and are always willing to rock a mulligan. In fact, it’s a confidence builder for them. Practice and repetition x 100. Doing something over and over again, getting better and better at it, eventually nailing it every time.
In a culture that encourages, celebrates, and pushes quick fixes, our level of patience has begun to deteriorate as our expectations have skyrocketed in terms of faster, bigger, better, and requiring little to no effort.
Dogs help us to keep it real, challenging us in ways only they can. Encouraging us to channel that lost art of patience and effort, as we work to create a symbiotic language and mutual understanding. To honor and respect the journey. The process of getting there.
If you’re working with your dog and his or her performance isn’t quite meeting your expectations, take a deep breath, flex your patience muscles, consider how you can help them understand you better through tweaking and adjusting your approach, and give the gift of the almighty mulligan (both to yourself and your pup).
After all… isn’t life but a string of mulligans?
In other words, what we nurture, and pour our energy and focus into, we create more of.
Any state of mind we give affection to, we are approving, reinforcing, and encouraging more of.
It’s human nature to want to comfort someone when they’re feeling sad, angry, lost or afraid. We hug, hold hands, pat them on the back and tell them it’s going to be okay. We comfort them through touch and soothing words, giving them warmth and a sense of hope.
