we operate, and how we take in and process information. When we counteract nature by treating our dogs as if they were human, we create imbalance, insecurity, confusion, and instability.
So, what do we do when our dogs are feeling fearful, insecure, nervous or unsure?
- Advocate, but don’t coddle. Provide a safe space to learn the value and skill of self soothing. This way, our dog’s emotional state doesn’t become dependent on our presence.
- Redirect their attention to their favorite activity or begin working on basic obedience commands. If we’re consistent with this every time a thunderstorm rolls around, our pup may actually begin associating thunderstorms with “FUN ACTIVITY TIME!” and get excited for it.
- Set up structured scenarios that trigger fear, insecurity, and uncertainty in your pup and slowly, patiently work with them through it. For example, if bicycles are a trigger, recruit a biker and work with the dog in a safe, controlled setting. The goal is to help the dog develop a new, more positive association with whatever sets him or her off. The only way to overcome fear is to lean directly into and move through it.
Like diet and nutrition, there’s no “one size fits all” solution to behavioral issues. Behavior itself is layered and contextual, and (thankfully) there are several approaches we can take to help dogs work through their fears, discomforts, and uncertainties.
Keep in mind, though; in order to train thy dog, we must know thy dog. Know what excites, motivates, drives, and triggers. This is knowledge that can only be gained through spending quality time with our dog. Every dog deserves this from their human.
The importance of moving forward.
Dogs live in the moment. They’re fully present in every scenario. Humans, on the other hand, typically live in the past or in the future. It’s a conscious effort for us to be fully present and in the moment.
Moving forward is a practice and a choice we make.
Here’s a common scenario: a woman and her dog are out for a walk. In the past, this dog has lunged, barked, and put on quite a show every time another dog is encountered. Now, as soon as she sees a dog approaching, she tightens up, gets a kung-fu grip on the leash, her heart rate quickens, and she braces for the inevitable. She starts looking for exit strategies and alternative routes. Cars to duck behind. No luck. So she moves off to the side and puts Fido in a “Sit”. The other dog gets closer, and Fido loses it. Just as she expected.
I get it, I’ve been there before. It’s not a fun place, for the person or the dog. But let’s try it another way.
Mulligan: A woman has a dog-reactive dog and they’re out for a walk. In the past, this dog has lunged, barked, and put on quite a show every time another dog is encountered. She quickly detaches from the past, and stays fully present. A new outcome could happen, if she simply releases the story and shifts her focus. She knows this now. She begins to envision walking by the other dog with no issues, no displays. She’s breathing deeply, she’s calm, and feeling oh-so confident. The leash is short, but not tight or tense. Her arm is long and relaxed, head is held high, shoulders are down and back. Fido is saying to himself, “Oh, okay. My human’s got it. Well, this is new. I like it. I think I’ll go with it.” She’s going in, and cool as a cucumber.
Fido may begin to revert back to his usual patterned way of behaving; but each time this gets consistently practiced, his reactions become less and less intense as a new story is being written. He’s not in a “Sit”, a stationary position where his only option is to hyper-focus and fixate on the oncoming dog (trigger). Both human and dog are moving forward and through the obstacle together. Both becoming more confident and more trusting in one other. Fido feels his human asserting herself and guiding him through this usually hairy situation in a far different manner; and the human starts to see
Fido in a new light as he’s making different choices and practicing a different behavior as a result of this guidance.
Moving forward is always better than staying still. Detachment is liberating, whereas attachment can be quite stifling when it comes to behavior.
To move forward is to release the story.
Humans tend to cling to a “story” when it involves dogs, fueling and feeding them with emotion. This is particularly common with shelter and rescue dogs, and dogs whom have come from a bad situation.
Whatever the story may be, dogs can and always want to move forward. They’re incredibly resilient. More often than not, it’s us preventing them from doing so. We attach ourselves to the story, keeping it alive with our thoughts, emotions and words.
We don’t introduce our dog simply as “Joey”, but as, “Joey the dog we rescued from a puppy mill who’d spent his entire life in a cage”. We spend our time trying to compensate for every wrong ever done to the dog, giving him love, love, love, and more love. Giving affection to every state of mind: fearfulness, anxiety, and nervousness; thus conditioning and creating more insecurity, instability and unhealthy dependencies.
It’s in Dog’s nature to live and be in the moment, as it is ours; but it takes conscious effort and mindfulness to reach this space. To be fully present. To release assumption and illusion. To acknowledge prior chapters of a story, but detach from them as we begin to author new ones.
We can’t and won’t help anyone move beyond tragedy or trauma when we remain attached to the story.
Moving forward. It’s a process, a daily practice, a conscious effort, and a choice we make. Release. Re-associate. Re-acquaint. One foot, one paw in front of the other. Honor the past by having the courage to overcome, move forward, and evolve. Each moment is an opportunity to re-write the story and begin again.
Dogs use their entire body to communicate, and so do we; though most of us are completely unaware of the messages we’re sending.
Dogs are master body language interpreters, tone translators, and energy readers. They know us on a level we don’t even know ourselves, and see beyond the facade we’ve so carefully crafted.
Slumped shoulders vs. shoulders pressed down and back, and squared over the hips. A lowered head vs. looking straight ahead. Rounded posture vs. upright and erect posture. Direct eye contact vs. darting eyes or avoidance. Standing firmly and owning space vs. shiftiness.
What message are you sending? Are you shrinking in your space, or standing confidently in it?
Humans send subtle indications about how they feel and the environment they’re in through various channels; which is what dogs pick up on and respond directly to.
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