Opening Our Hearts
LOVE IS NOT MEANT TO BE HELD IN A clenched heart. Like water, love must be allowed to flow naturally and freely or it becomes grabby and turns into attachment and dependence. Fear is usually the icy fist that seizes our heart, clanging it closed. When our heart is locked behind iron doors, we're cut off from its innate wisdom and compassion, both of which are necessary for us to feel truly happy and fulfilled.
For our heart to be willing and able to open, we must dispel its fear and protect it from harm. Although no one can really wound our heart unless we allow it, fear keeps us from realizing that fact. As a wily adversary, fear is most easily transformed by the light of creative visualization.
Some of the visualizations that I and my clients use to allay fears include: seeing and feeling the hands of Christ over our hearts brushing away danger; putting on a magic, impermeable cloak; surrounding our hearts in an orb of white light; placing an invisible fil-ter between ourselves and another; and being shielded by an angel.
It doesn't matter what you choose, only that it works for you. One whimsical client of mine imagines herself riding a huge white unicorn into tricky situations. If a barb or fear flies her way, her unicorn snags it on his magical horn and flings it harmlessly away. She knows that humor and fun help disperse fear.
Design a visualization that makes you feel safe and secure and relax into it. As you enjoy your personal mind-movie, begin to breathe more and more deeply. Invite any heart-closing fears to parade by and watch as your protectors render them impotent. Still surrounded by protection, visualize your heart opening in its perfect, right time and way. As it opens, feel the security and well-being flowing into it as you inhale, and feel that same sense of well-being flowing out to the world as you exhale. In and out. Gently, lovingly, and safely.
I protect my heart.
From my open heart flows pure love.
Cradling a Wounded Heart
DURING AN EXTREMELY PAINFUL TIME IN MY life, I vowed to never be hurt that badly again. To protect myself, I armored my heart so effectively that it felt as if it began to atrophy from lack of use. Only with my children did I feel safe enough to give and receive love. Thank goodness— for without those kids, my soul might have withered and wafted away.
Luckily, my spirit began to rebel against its ever-increasing grayness and encouraged me to choose love rather than reclusive safety. At first I refused and huddled resolutely behind my armor. There must have been some spark of willingness within me for, as Spirit persisted, caring and helpful people began to appear in my life.
Annabelle, a wonderful woman who would become my spiritual mother, was an important guide. Knowing that I had an advocate whom I could call if I were desperate gave me the courage to creep around the corner of my armor and begin to heal my heart. The transformation process was neither fast nor easy but began to happen as soon as I started cradling my wounded heart.
As you would to an injured child, I crooned to my heart that everything would be okay, that I would protect and nurture it, that I would keep it as safe as possible. When I was too weak to be nurturing, I visualized my mother, Anna-belle, an angel, or Mary, Christ's mother, holding the wounded part of me in soothing, comforting arms and infusing my heart with healing energy. During times when I was too bottomed-out to do anything myself, I called a friend and asked her to hold me in her prayers.
If your heart is wounded, console and comfort it, and don't hesitate to reach out to others for help in doing so.
I hold my heart in the gentle arms of love.
I allow others to help me heal.
Growing a Grinch Heart
HEART-CENTERED THINKERS KNOW INTUI-tively that love is power. As Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote, “Love is a force . . . it is not a result; it is a cause. It is not a product; it produces. It is a power, like money, or steam, or electricity. It is valueless unless you can give something else by means of it.”
As mentioned in the introduction, science is now underscoring our intuitive awareness with measurable data. One Institute of HeartMath study that appealed to me shows that our hearts are the strongest amplifying system we have for generating positive electrical fields. When subjects in the laboratory brought their attention to their hearts and augmented that attention with feelings of appreciation and caring, computer printouts displayed greatly increased fields of energy emanating from their hearts in ever-widening circles.
The picture HeartMath has drawn of this phenomenon reminded me of Dr. Seuss' story of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The Grinch's heart was finally touched by the Whos in Whoville, when they still exhibited the spirit of Christmas even after all of their gifts and decorations had been stolen. Feeling what I guess was amazement and appreciation for the Whos, the Grinch's heart grew from a tiny dried up tidbit into a radiantly beautiful starburst filling his entire chest. Rays of heart-energy poured from him toward the little Whos happily singing below.
All of us can grow a Grinch heart. Quietly close your eyes and focus your attention on your heart area. Bring into your awareness a sense of deep appreciation for a person or situation. Bask in the resultant feelings and allow your heart to expand. See and feel your heart-energy amplified and enlarged, blessing you first, and then moving out to grace others with the gift of love.
Love is truly a force for good, and we can amplify our output.
My heart is continuously growing.
I give love graciously.
Roaming in the Heart
SO OFTEN WE ALLOW OUR MINDS TO ROAM in areas that are not conducive to feeling good. We ramble around in the past in hopes of a better yesterday, and then we leap ahead and scurry fretfully around in the “what ifs” of the future. As a consequence, most of us spend very little time in the present moment, tuned into what is going on right now.
One particularly destructive mind habit—one of my own major weaknesses—is to rehash and relive negative emotional experiences, gnawing them, and our nerves, to shreds. Not good, because five minutes of ruminating on an argument creates the same imbalance in the autonomic nervous system as does real-time anger, and it depletes the immune system for several hours afterward. Roaming in emotional mine fields is bad for our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
Diametrically opposed to the effects we get from straying into negativity are the positive effects received by roaming in the fields of our heart, the “hub of all sacred places” according to Sri Nityananda. Here we learn to be present to what is, right now, without being mired in the past or grasping for the future. Find a quiet moment today and allow your body to settle into a comfortable position. Encourage your body to soften, your breath to deepen, and your mind to be still. Focus on your breath and watch as it automatically begins to slow down. Bring your attention to your heart. Feel gratitude and admiration for it.
As you relax, create a beautiful scene that is symbolic of your heart. If the picture that first appears doesn't appeal to you, let it fade and create a new one. Explore your heartscape; deeply enjoy and appreciate what it generously offers. Be open to surprise blessings that may arise. You can invite
