through right now, or whatever you’re worrying might happen next, I want you to know: You’re going to survive.
Yeah, you might cry. Sure, you might feel compelled to eat an entire family-sized pizza all by yourself. Of course, you might want to crawl under a blanket and self-medicate with Netflix for the entire weekend because you’re a human being with human feelings and sometimes things hurt.
But no matter what happens, you’re going to survive. The silver lining is that you’ll become a smarter, wiser, funnier, more compassionate person because of whatever you’ve endured in your life and career. Like they say, “pressure creates diamonds.” It may not always feel like it, but sometimes, the worst moment of your entire career can be the catalyst for a new chapter, a new project, a brilliant new invention or system—maybe the best work you’ve ever done.
* * *
HI. HAVE WE MET?
It’s probably a good idea for me to introduce myself, in case we’ve never met…
Hello! My name is Alexandra Franzen, but most people call me “Alex.” I also respond to “Ali,” “Al,” “Franz,” and “Hey, you with the blue hair.”
For most of my grown-up life, I’ve worked as a writer, editor, and communication consultant. I’ve also worked in the public broadcasting industry, which you’ll read about later in this book. And one time, I helped my sweetheart Brandon open a brunch restaurant. You’ll read a few stories about that, too.
But for the last eight years or so, writing has been my main gig. I’ve been blessed with truly incredible clients over the years, exciting publishing and teaching opportunities, and a few projects that have literally caused me to erupt into tears of gratitude and joy. (Spoiler alert: I’m a crier and a hugger. I cry a lot. Sometimes while hugging people.)
Throughout my career, there have been beautiful “I can’t believe this is really my job, somebody pinch me” moments. And also…moments that were not so exuberant. Difficult moments. Embarrassing moments. Bewildering moments—like having my identity stolen and seeing a fake website that someone created, pretending to be me, passing my work—and my personal stories—off as their own. There’s been rejection, criticism, and just about every flavor of discouragement that you can imagine.
After my first book came out, here’s one of the reviews that got posted on Amazon:
“Awful. I thought these would be cute, preprinted notes that I could send to friends. But each one uses the word ‘Awesome’ in some over-the-top, silly way. I am a grown woman who enjoys sending encouraging notes to my friends, but these are very juvenile (think pre-teen). I wish I could return them. Unless you are 8–12, don’t buy these.”
Ouch.
After my next book came out—this time, a self-published novel that was very, very loosely based on my real life—here’s what one reader had to say:
“Did not finish due to the main character being so unlikeable [. . .] The writing is mediocre with nothing but excessive commas, especially where they’re redundant and never should have been considered [. . .] I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from the writing.”
Yikes.
And then there’s another book project I worked on—a journal with daily questions for couples to answer together. I loved this project and I was so proud of how it turned out. It ended up being a number one bestseller, multiple years running. But, uh, not everyone loved it. Here’s one review:
“Questions are boring. I expected this to have some depth to it.”
Ouch again.
When I see negative reviews about my work, it stings. I wish I could say, “It doesn’t bother me at all—not even for one single second—because my confidence is unshakable and I am sooo brave!” but that just isn’t true. The truth is that…it hurts.
If you’re a chef and someone spits out your food, that’s not fun to witness.
If you’re a writer and someone posts a one-star review about your latest art project, that’s not much fun either.
And also, let’s be honest…it’s not fun when you’re job-hunting and you apply for ten different positions and don’t get a single response.
It’s not fun when you submit a completed project to a client, and they hate every single part of it, and you have to do the entire thing all over again from scratch.
It’s not fun when you watch your colleague get chosen for a promotion that you wanted (even though you’re more qualified and everyone knows it, so seriously, WTF?).
It’s not fun when your book proposal gets rejected by the thirty-seventh literary agent or publisher in a row.
It’s not fun when your parents disapprove of your career ambitions and think you’re a delusional idiot.
And it’s definitely not fun when online trolls take pleasure in ripping apart your work, purely for their own amusement.
Nobody wants this kind of stuff to happen. Most of us have nightmares about these kinds of scenarios. We try to shield ourselves from pain and disappointment. We cringe even just thinking about it. We try our darnedest to avoid these bleak situations.
But this kind of stuff…happens. It happens a lot. Our lives do not always flow along like silken tofu. Sometimes, challenges arise. Sometimes, things just…seriously suck.
And then what?
How can we survive moments like that?
How can we handle discouragement with grace and strength?
How can we roll with the inevitable ups and downs of our careers without giving up? Without curling into a ball and hiding forever?
How can we stay optimistic, motivated, and inspired to keep marching forward, even after experiencing a considerable professional setback? Seriously, how?
These are questions I’ve wondered about a lot, especially over the last seven or eight years of my life and career.
To find answers to those questions, I decided to talk to a lot of smart, funny, wise people and get their advice. Then I compiled their stories—along with a few of my own—into a Word document, which eventually became an e-book, and then later a book-book. The one you’re holding in your hands.
* * *
WHEN YOU START LOSING HOPE,TRUE STORIES CAN HELP.
When I’m feeling discouraged, what helps me—more than anything else—is hearing true stories about people who have experienced a similar type of discouragement.
I like reading about what happened, how they felt, how they survived the bleakest moments, and how they got stronger.
When I read or hear those kinds of stories, I always feel better. It’s like soul medicine. Like a deep, intense, eight-second-long, rocking-back-’n-forth hug. Like a pep talk from a wise mentor who really cares, even if it’s someone I’ve never met in “real life” before.
This book is filled with those kinds of stories. I call them Survival Stories.
