The Courage to Be Yourself. Sue Patton Thoele
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The beauty of finding the courage to face our fears and become ourselves is that everyone eventually wins. As an example, Gene and I are both happier as co-creators of a partnership than we ever were when he was the undisputed Top Dog. For me, life in general becomes sunnier and more fulfilled in direct proportion to my ability to overcome the hesitations I have about expressing my true self. Of course, I still struggle with certain fears, and I suspect that will always be true. But as I develop strength and confidence, my fears become much more manageable and far less paralyzing.
AWAKENING THE DIVINE FEMININE
One of the major areas in which our vision of self is expanding is in the spiritual realm. Myriad archeological discoveries, including goddess artifacts from ancient civilizations and the Dead Sea Scrolls, have opened our eyes to the esteem in which women were once held. Research has unearthed cultures that honored both the masculine and the feminine and recognized that each needed the other to create and sustain the greater whole. Interestingly, weapons were not found among the artifacts of these cultures, which suggests that ancient partnership societies rarely indulged in warlike activities. A state of affairs that pleased the Divine Feminine, I'm sure.
Our newborn awareness that feminine qualities were respected and revered in the past has allowed an expanded vision of ourselves to appear in the present, a vision that acknowledges Woman—or The Feminine—as deep, rich, wise, multidimensional, creative, lighthearted, and spiritual. This recognition and reclamation of The Feminine as invaluable and essential—even divine—is changing who we perceive ourselves to be. Is it possible that we are made in the image of a Mother God, a feminine creator, a divine spiritual essence? We're beginning to accept the answer as “yes.”
Actually, the idea of feminine spirituality as Source, as well as Comforter, is an idea as old as time but one that has been essentially buried for centuries. In the minds and hearts of many people, and even some established religious traditions, the Divine Feminine— a spark of which resides at the center of all souls—is once again taking her place beside the Divine Masculine. For the good of ourselves, our families, and our very world, our mission is to become our true selves and in so doing awaken and express the Divine Feminine within.
QUALITIES OF THE DIVINE FEMININE
The Feminine is the embodiment of heart energy. Her key qualities are compassion and the ability to accept and honor the process of whatever is happening. Perhaps this is often easier for women because we are physically and emotionally programmed to honor the cycle of conception, pregnancy, and birth and to welcome and include whoever may be born from that long, mysterious process.
Contrary to the idea that women are overemotional, the Divine Feminine is well grounded emotionally and has the capacity to bring all of her energy to exactly where she is in the moment. Feminine energy accepts the paradoxes of life and has the ability to hold them within her heart simultaneously. Feminine energy connects deeply the Earth and all of her children, feeling for and with them.
The following list of feminine qualities—the vision of ourselves the Divine Feminine whispers in the stillness of our hearts—is by no means complete. You will be able to add many of your own.
THE DIVINE FEMININE IS. . .
Inclusive: recognizes the value and worth of all people and things
Honoring of process: is able to allow circumstances, ideas, and experiences to unfold
Empowered: with steeled softness, champions the weak and vulnerable and stands firm for what is right
Intuitive: is holistic, accessing immediate perception rather than rational thinking
Compassionate: is empathetic, warm, open-hearted
Complementary: lives in concert with others, augmenting the whole with her presence
Connective: desires to link hands and hearts
Cooperative: is able to work with others without needing to be in control
Diffuse: perceives and understands a wide range of stimuli
Relational: is interested in preserving and deepening relationships
Gentle: is able to live gently with herself and others
Receptive: is open to receive the new, different, and wondrous
Empowering: awakens others to their potential
Forgiving: realizes that we are all imperfect and that nonforgiveness dams the natural flow of spirit
Introspective: is drawn to the spiritual and the philosophical
Healing: carries the ability to heal body, mind, and spirit through talent for listening deeply to her internal, inherent wisdom
Recognizing these qualities as ones that we possess, or can aspire to possess, frequently helps us recognize and respect our innate talent to usher in to all situations the energy of love and acceptance. As with everything—and much to our chagrin at times—the revolution of compassion, caring, and kindness exemplified by the Divine Feminine needs to begin within ourselves. As the song says, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” A revolution of love, a revolution of respect, a revolution of acceptance, tolerance, and inclusion. All of these values must first be nurtured in our own hearts and souls, and in our intimate social groups, if they are to be transformative for the whole. To begin this revolution of love, we need to brave our fears, extricate ourselves from the dung heap of disrespect and dismissal, and honor who we truly are.
FREEZE-DRIED FEMININE
In what was for me an eye-opening conversation, a dear friend was telling me that her adult daughter only seemed to relate to her when she needed something. “It's as if she freeze-dries me and puts me on a shelf until she needs something. Then she takes me down, reconstitutes me with her tears, and fully expects me to help her.” I answered, “And you do, right?”
She moaned, “Yes. . .” and we laughed in recognition.
As I reflected on our talk, I realized that over the last several hundred years, our society, both consciously and unconsciously, has attempted to freeze-dry feminine energy and power, stow it safely in a corked jar, and bury it in the remote recesses of a dark cavern. As well as trying to silence women's intuition and wisdom, society has denigrated the Divine Feminine qualities of cooperation, inclusion, receptivity, and compassion, to name only a few, by relegating them to the second-class areas of servitude and sacrifice.
As sad as I am to admit it, the attempts to bury the innate spiritual qualities of the Divine Feminine were certainly successful with me. For many years, my sense of spiritual and personal power lay dormant, and I felt no sense of connection to the Divine Feminine or to the divinity within myself. Although I tried to act out feminine values by loving, caring, and supporting others, my service sprang mostly from fear and a sense of obligation rather than flowing freely from my heart. I did what I should