Personal & Authentic. Thomas C Murray

      Only those who have experienced sudden tragedy with loved ones can understand the fear, the anger, the disbelief, and the raw emotion that ensues in moments like these.

      Wieder’s vehicle, which was pulling the fourteen-foot camper trailer, went off the road and struck the guardrail with the right front bumper, police said. The SUV separated from the trailer, became airborne, and slid down an embankment. It spun clockwise before striking a tree on the driver’s side, police said.

      The SUV fell about thirty feet from the highway to Kumry Road, said Bucks County Coroner Joseph Campbell. The road was slick from a steady rain that fell throughout the day. Campbell said gasoline leaking from the vehicle caught fire and gutted the vehicle with the driver and passenger trapped inside.

      “The fire was pretty extensive,” Campbell said. “It was a pretty violent accident.” Campbell said Mark Wieder died of smoke inhalation, burns, and trauma, and his wife died of burn and smoke inhalation. Firefighters arrived on the scene to find the car in flames, fire officials said.1

      In that moment, my mentor—an amazing husband, dad of two, family man, and one of the best teachers that has ever walked this earth—and his loving wife were gone. Like so many others, heartbroken doesn’t begin to describe the grief that those who knew the couple felt.

      That afternoon, many of my colleagues came together at school to mourn the loss of our friend. We shared stories of the man he was as our hearts were heavy. We cried together. We loved on one another, holding each other’s hearts in our hands.

      I’ve come to realize that you never really know when that moment will be. You never really know when it will happen. You only know once that moment has passed, and reality has become a memory.

      The last smile.

      The last high five.

      The last hug.

      The last goodbye.

      Mark’s life was cut way too short. Yet during his forty-eight years, he fully lived. He lived every day to the fullest. Mark had more joy and found more happiness through his relationships in forty-eight years than many feel in a lifetime. He epitomized the true impact of a teacher.

      The following Saturday, over 4,000 people paid their respects to Mark and Rae Ann Wieder. Lines circled the church in Macungie, Pennsylvania, and people waited for hours to say their goodbye to two people they respected and loved so much.

      I’m not sure if Mark ever grasped the actual impact he had as a teacher, the legacy he built, or the lives he helped change course, including mine. Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever really know how long our fingerprints, as educators, will last on those we have the privilege to serve. Mark’s fingerprints will be seen on the lives of others for generations.

      The Impact of a Teacher

      Never say that you are just a teacher. You have just the right opportunity, every day, to change the lives of kids—just like my mentor Mark Wieder did, for over two-and-a-half decades.

      Mark’s passing helped me understand that the quality of our relationships dictates our personal happiness. Ultimately, these relationships solidify and authenticate our successes. For Mark, these relationships were plentiful. They were personal in nature. They were authentic in experience. They were the foundation of all he did, both at home and at school. They are his legacy.

      In our schools and classrooms, we need to ensure that students are not experience rich and relationship poor. It is in the quality of your relationships where your legacy as an educator will live.

      I’ve come to learn that the more personal and authentic we are, the greater our impact will be. As educators, our effectiveness is based on the quality of our relationships. These relationships are the foundation of our work, the center of our why.

      Never say that you are just a teacher. You have just the right opportunity, every day, to change the lives of kids.

      As an educator, your fingerprints remain on the lives of those you serve. The greater your impact, the more profound and long-lasting the prints will be. Your daily work alters the course of history as you mold and shape the lives of others and that of future generations. Your fingerprints and legacy change the course of humanity. But you determine how it will change through the choices you make and the relationships you build.

      Another month passed, and our school family was still grieving. All who have experienced the loss of a loved one know how difficult moving forward can be. We didn’t hide our grief. We worked together to face our new reality, and it reflected in our work.

      For an authentic writing experience, I asked the kids to write a short essay answering the following prompt:

      “Write a descriptive paragraph about someone that you admire. Make sure to include as many reasons as you can that tell why you admire that person. Make sure to include things you have seen the person do that have inspired you.”

      Selfishly for me, it was an opportunity to write about Mark. It was an opportunity to write down the many ways his life touched mine. It was an opportunity for me to be vulnerable in front of my students. It was an opportunity for me to show humility. It was an opportunity to continue to grieve. It was an opportunity for me to finally take a step forward.

      I shared how, as a new teacher, I admired Mark Wieder for who he was. I admired him for his integrity and how his love for others radiated in everything he did. I admired the teacher he was and how his kids loved being in his class. I also shared how I admired Mark for having the courage to call me out when I was wrong and to help me become a better teacher. For me, Mark defined the true meaning of a teacher, as he was far more than a content deliverer—he was a life changer.

      That week, I shared my writing with my students and used it as a model for their work. I shed many tears throughout the writing process and was amazed at my students’ responses to my vulnerability as I shared my heart with them. Our team had transformed from a group of students previously known for behavioral issues to a team of kids who would be bound together forever by tragedy.