uses only a small part of it. So much effort and time wasted! I didn’t understand it at all. However, I now understand that she only brushed aside the unnecessary in her life, every time it interfered with her. Vita was not afraid to cross out the old and enthusiastically take on something new. Periodically, she fell out of reality, driving herself into a state of apathy, and it was very important that during this period there was someone who would pull her out of this state. She was so overwhelmed that she could no longer distinguish reality from fiction. If no one was around, she would withdraw into herself for a while, digesting the information, and then return to the outside world. There were too many contradictions in it. I didn’t always keep up with her moods and thoughts. But it was these contradictions that led her to what I have now. For this, we should be grateful.
Chapter 5
Today is my friend’s birthday, to which I was invited. I took Vita with me. I don’t know why. Probably because most of my friends are family people and I didn’t want to be alone among married couples. The restaurant was decorated with beautiful women in elegant dresses. Vita put on a short red dress that accentuated her figure.
– I wish it was night, – I whispered in her ear, when everyone sat down at the table.
– Sit and lick your lips!
To my surprise, everyone liked Vita, she had a special gift for pleasing both women and men. She could hold a conversation with anyone and always knew what to say. Despite the fact, that she was the youngest among us, she always had something to answer, no matter what she was asked. I took pride in knowing that I was being judged through her.
At two o’clock in the morning, everyone left. Vita and I went to my place. Vita undressed, poured herself rum and sat on the bed.
– Your brain excites me, – I told her.
– The main thing is that you have sex with me, not with my brain! – she motioned me to sit next to her.
It’s hard to explain, but it shakes me when I possess her. With her, I stop being selfish. Before, it was important for me to have fun myself, but now I want her to have fun. Her body is very pliable, it’s nice to watch her bending. And it raises men’s self-esteem. I wonder if she’s just with me this way or with others too?
– Horus, I know this is a bad time to say this, but I still want to say it now. I quickly burn out; I quickly get bored with people. Today I feel good with you, and tomorrow you may bore me. This is who I am. When this happens, I will tell you about it, because I am always for honesty. But be honest with me, too. If you lose your passion, just tell me. I will leave without hysterics and unnecessary questions.
– What kind of talk? Are you drunk?
– No. I have never asked anything from you, but I do ask it of you.
– Vita, if you become cold to me, don’t tell me about it. You have to lie, please come up with something. Better call me a goat, a scoundrel, but not that.
– I can’t lie…
Vita quickly fell asleep, and my dream disappeared. I was lying on my bed, watching a movie on my smartphone, but I couldn’t sleep even when it was over. I looked at Vita. Outwardly, she seems so fragile, vulnerable, but in reality she is very different-resolute and strong. I moved closer to her, stroked her hair, and I felt a great tenderness for her. Then I fell asleep.
When Vita left in the morning, I took care of household, and also went shopping and bought food. My phone was ringing. It was a Sveta. She gave me a tantrum – you see, she didn’t like that I was missing and didn’t return her messages and calls. Frankly, I didn’t answer, not because I was near Vita, but because I knew that I wouldn’t hear anything but complaints. Tantrums were not in my plans.
– Sveta, it’s unbearable. Let’s stay friends, huh?
– You got someone? What’s wrong? – she was crying into the phone. one.
– You’re talking about that again!
– You have got another girl!
– Be happy! – I cut her off. I can’t stand women’s tears!
“I have finally broken off this relationship,” – I thought, feeling an incredible relief from the committed act Vita is right: relationships should bring joy and ease, and if they already do not bring anything good, it’s time to end them. Vita did not understand couples who have serious problems, but people keep these relationships because of the fear of loneliness, because of the invented hopelessness, in vain believing that everything will change. She always thought hard. She had developed a good rule in her life. There is much to learn here.
Chapter 6
There are two categories of men: some have a second wind after forty, while others become too lazy at this age. I have already had a lot of breath in my years, so I feel free to put myself in the second category. However, there are people who do not let you get bored. These include Vita. In spite of herself, she had taken away my attraction to other women. I was satisfied with her alone, she gave me everything I needed. At that moment, I was already up to my ears in trouble, although I didn’t realize it yet. I was suddenly concerned about where she was and what she was doing. I had a hunch that she had someone besides me, but I didn’t dare ask her openly, because she was honest and would tell the truth, and I might not like the truth. This was the first concession to her.
Our mini-romance was now in its third month. During this time, Vita never took out my brain, everything was calm. We communicated, met, held sessions. I evaluated my attitude to Vita with Maxim Gorky’s phrase: “I don’t seem to need this person, but something keeps him in my head.” I could live without talking to her, but when we met, my brain immediately shut down. Vita gave a feeling of lightness; it was fun and interesting to be with her. At the beginning of our conversation, I never saw her in a bad mood. I didn’t count the occasional lapse in apathy. I’m used to her always being cheerful, no matter what. I fed on her energy. We all know the selfish feeling that draws us to what warms us when we are cold. So it was with Vita. Tired, angry, I changed next to her. So, little by little, I began to get used to it.
One evening Vita came to see me. We sat in the kitchen and drank our usual rum. In her behavior, I tried to find proof that she was still interested in me, that I was the only one she had. Everything seemed to be in order. But at some point, she took out her phone, texted someone, and put the cell phone in her bag. When she went to shower, I acted like a classic jealous woman – I took her phone out of her bag. It was turned off. I still don’t understand why I did it then. I was filled with rage and a sense of ownership. I put the phone back and waited for her to come out of the bathroom.
Vita went out, wrapped in a towel. She noticed my changed mood and looked at me warily.
– Do you have someone else? – I asked.
– Don’t ask questions, the answers to which you will not like, – she said quite calmly and went to the kitchen.
– You’ll tell me! – I grabbed her hand and squeezed it so hard.
– You’re crazy! Since when do you ask me such questions? What’s wrong with you?
