culture, past experiences, education, biases, and heredity—influences the interaction. Of consequence is the extent to which their fields of experience overlap. In theory, the more individuals communicate with each other, the more overlap they create.
In addition, we see that noise can enter the interaction at any point—it can pop up in the message, be present in the channel, come from one’s field of experience, or derive from the context. Such noise can affect the sending and/or the receiving abilities and effectiveness of the communicators.
Every interaction we have with another has an impact on our future interactions with that person and potentially with others.
How Good a Communicator Are You?
Simply communicating frequently does not mean that you are as effective a communicator as you could be. Too often, we neglect problems with our communicative relationships. When we either lack empathy or fail to consider the feelings of others, our relationships suffer.
There is no such thing as being too effective at establishing maintaining and controlling personal and public contacts with others. Being mindful of the principles discussed in this section can help you to improve your communication skills.
Communication is Dynamic
When we call communication a dynamic process, we mean that all its elements constantly interact with and affect each other. Because we are interconnected, whatever happens to one person determines in part what happens to others.
Relationships evolve. Nothing about communication is static. Everything is accumulative. We communicate as long as we are alive. Thus, every interaction we engage in is part of a series of connected happenings. Present communication experiences can be thought of as points of arrival from past encounters and as points of departure for future ones. Do your experiences support this?
Communication is Unrepeatable and Irreversible
Every human contact we experience is unique. It has never happened before and will never again happen in just the same way. Our interpretation of the adage “You can never step into the same river twice” is that the experience changes both you and the river forever. A communication encounter similarly affects and changes people so that one encounter can never occur exactly in the same way a second time.
In addition to being unrepeatable, communication is also irreversible. We cannot take back something we have said or tweeted any more than we can erase the effects of something we have done. Just as toothpaste cannot be squeezed back into a tube, the e-mails, texts, and tweets we send are going to be out there forever.
When has the unrepeatable and irreversible nature of communication caused you a problem?
Communication Has No Opposite
We often assume that communication is purposeful and that we communicate only because we want to. Although this sometimes is true, it is also true that sometimes we communicate without any awareness of doing so—and just as often, even without wanting to.
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Whenever we are involved in an interaction, we respond in some way. Even if we choose not to respond verbally, even if we maintain absolute silence and attempt not to move a muscle, our lack of response is itself a response; it constitutes a message, influences others, and communicates. We can never stop behavior—because behavior has no opposite. No matter how hard we try, we cannot not communicate, because all behavior is communication and therefore is a message.
Exploring Diversity
Focus on Hate
Years ago, researcher Gordon Allport wrote the following in his now classic The Nature of Prejudice:
See that man over there?
Yes.
Well, I hate him.
But you don’t know him.
That’s why I hate him.
Although Allport wrote this long ago, his observations remain true today and are being magnified by social media. To what extent do you believe that enhanced understanding can help resolve this? Why does a lack of knowledge or familiarity help breed hate? Why might some people experience “hate” when encountering individuals from a new or unfamiliar culture or group?
Culture Influences Communication
As we will learn in Chapter 2, how we formulate and interpret messages depends on our culture. Cultural diversity, including race, ethnicity, gender, and age, influences the meanings we attribute to communication. Cultural differences exist not only between people who speak different languages but also between people who speak the same language. Every cultural group has its own rules or preferences for interaction. When these are unknown or ignored, we are apt to misinterpret the meaning of messages received and miscalculate the impact of messages sent.
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Gender Influences Communication
“To be an ‘I” at all means to be gendered.”7 Our culture shapes our conceptions of gender, and conceptions of gender shape our communication.8 We learn socially accepted variations in the definitions of gender differences as we grow up. Girls, for example, learn to “play nice.” Boys learn to act tough. Gender is a relational construct with individuals promoting the gender ideologies they accept.
To what extent do you believe that your communication has been influenced by gender constructions or restrictions and what society considers “normal”?
Personal Ethics Influence Communication
Every time we communicate, we decide implicitly or explicitly if we will do so ethically. Ethics are the moral principles, values, and beliefs that members of society use to guide behavior. Since communication has consequences, it involves judgments of right and wrong. When the agreed-upon standards of behavior are violated, the behavior is judged unethical. For example, most of us expect those with whom we interact to be honest, play fair, respect our rights, and accept responsibility for their actions.
Communication is Competence Based
A communication scholar once said that if communication can fail, it will.9 Our challenge is determining how we can prevent communication from failing. One solution is to make wise choices. In certain situations, some messages are appropriate and okay to say to particular receivers, whereas others are not.
Even though we all have different
