digitally dispersed, is one skill we all should want to master. We should want to present ourselves as competently and confidently as possible in the communication arenas we frequent daily, regardless of whether we happen to be physically in the same space or are using social media.
Skill Builder
Wi-Fi Me (It’s Not a Question)
Based solely on the name of your Wi-Fi network, what impressions might others form of you?
In an effort to influence others’ reactions, Wi-Fi network names have morphed from boring series of digits to personalized monikers much like vanity license plates.
Choose a Wi-Fi name that you believe will reveal to others something they may not know about you. For example, one ballet dance instructor branded her Wi-Fi network “PointToMe.”1 What will you brand yours? What do you think your brand communicates about you?
Communication Choices are Abundant
We have an abundance of communication options today. To be sure, various means of communicating become more popular than others at different times in our lives. For example, for many of us texting is the dominant form of interaction.2 But for better or worse, our communication choices evolve. The question is: Do we make sound decisions about how to communicate most effectively and appropriately with others?
Once we understand what makes communication work across the spectrum of communication channels available to us, we will know how to make it work for us. Ultimately, because the communication presence we present and share in social, civic, and professional arenas and personal, group, organizational, and public settings affects our relationships, our ability to engage with others, and our life satisfaction, we can never become too effective at communicating.
Communication Presence and Technology
What is your personal “go-to” means of communicating? If you’re like many 21st-century students, your smartphone serves as your prime personal connector. You likely use it to check Facebook, text, tweet, or post on Instagram—but rarely make a phone call. For some people, actually talking to another person causes discomfort. Such individuals find technology freeing, because they don’t have to be in the physical presence of others. They feel able to say what they want without fear of being interrupted or even having to listen to another’s response.
Are We Addicted?
Although we sometimes discount communicating face-to-face or forget it altogether, doing so effectively is equally, if not more, important than connecting through technology. Despite this, in a 2015 Pew Research Center study, 89% of smartphone owners reported using their phones during the last social gathering they attended. They also reported that they were not happy about it because it impeded conversation.3
iStock/damircudic
A few years back, a YouTube video titled “I Forgot My Phone” went viral. By now, the video has been viewed more than 50 million times. At the video’s start, we see a couple in bed. The woman stares into space while her boyfriend focuses on his smartphone. The scenes that follow show the woman in the midst of a series of dystopian situations. Her friends ignore her and stare at their phones during lunch. Concertgoers are too busy recording the performance to enjoy it. The guest of honor at a birthday party takes selfies while his friends sing. The last scene finds the couple back in bed. Her boyfriend is still phone obsessed.
Are we addicted to smartphones and social media? According to research, we well might be captives of our devices. Many of us use our phones more than we even imagine we do. In fact, when asked to estimate their smartphone usage, participants estimated an average of 37 uses daily. The actual number was about 85 times daily, or once every 11 minutes of your typical waking day. The duration of use was 5.05 hours, including phone calls and listening to music.4
Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are hypnotically compelling for many of us, in part because they deliver unscheduled “variable rewards”—much like slot machines do. Messages, alerts, notifications, photos, and “likes” are sent to us randomly, making it virtually impossible for us not to react to them. They induce large numbers of us to become compulsive site checkers looking for a dopamine boost—almost as if we were seeking a fix.
The Upshot
What is the future of person-to-person conversation as texting replaces talking? We have to be able to connect both remotely and in-person, in a social or professional network, or in a social or professional circle. Whenever and wherever we connect, the goal is to make communication work—and that is the primary goal of this book.
Human and Social Capital
What will it take to make communication work for you?
Neither job-specific talent, nor technical expertise, nor graduating from college alone will guarantee you upward mobility or the attainment of goals. In fact, many of us get our jobs because of our social capital, rather than our human capital—the people we know, not what we know.5 This might be because, although our communities and workplaces are prime environments for connecting with others, the Internet makes it relatively easy today to find out anything we don’t know.
The Communication–Success Connection
What differentiates people who ascend both personal and professional ladders of success from those who do not? The answer is superior communication skills.
Among the top 10 skills employers seek when hiring college graduates is the ability to communicate with others both inside and outside of the organization.6 Although not guaranteed, people with good communication skills are more likely to be promoted rapidly, be happy in relationships, and believe their lives are rich and fulfilling. Whatever your age, sex, marital status, or employment history, it is never too late to learn skills that will enrich and improve your career and life.
We are not born knowing how to make communication work. We learn and develop communication skills. If you want to improve your ability to relate to people in your social life, job, or academic life, now is the time to start making communication work better for you!
What is Communication?
We are all communicators. We engage in intrapersonal (with ourselves), dyadic (one-to-one), small-group (one to a few), public (one to many), and mass communication (communicating messages that are shared across great distances with potentially large audiences through a technological device or mass medium). We also engage in computer-assisted or online communication.
Defining Communication
Every time we knowingly or unknowingly send a verbal or nonverbal message to anyone, communication takes place. We define communication as the deliberate or accidental transfer of meaning. It is the process that occurs whenever someone observes or experiences behavior and attributes meaning to that behavior. As long as what someone does or says is interpreted as a message—as long as the
