social media, working to create a self that others will respond to positively.69 We also tend to perceive and interact differently when we relate to people online and not face to face. In effect, the Internet allows us to facilitate perceptual revisions of ourselves.70 If others approve of the way we present ourselves, they will encourage its continuation. If, however, they believe we are trying to present ourselves as someone whom we are not, then they will judge us to be untrustworthy and not credible.71
The Internet and Social Networks Promote Self–Other Comparisons
Of course, what we see in the media and what others present online often compel us to perceive ourselves, our relationships, and our lives as inferior in comparison to the lives of others. This takes an emotional toll and may be responsible for increases in the number of people suffering from depression and loneliness.72
The media frequently present the human body in perfect form, which makes many of us think that no one could love us the way we are. Even with “body-positive” movements on the rise, a bias for skinny women persists.73
When it comes to social networks, others may have more contacts or friends than we do. They may possess significantly greater online influence than we do. Those who spend considerable time viewing and commenting on posts and pictures of peers are likely to experience greater dissatisfaction with their own appearance and social lives.74
Technology Alters Perceptions of Reality
Digital media make it hard to discern what is real or true. In entertainment, sports, and news magazines, for example, men’s biceps are enlarged, birthmarks are removed, and weight is redistributed. In general, appearances are “improved.” Of course, it’s not just the approved, curated image that is available for our inspection.
Kotin/Shutterstock.com
What is even worse, however, is that false information is too frequently put forth as factual. Conspiracies and false news sites abound. When repeated and replicated, the barrage of fake stories creates an echo-chamber effect. As a result, we need to develop the ability to look critically at what we find online rather than simply accept what is before our eyes as being true.
Communication Skills
Practice Improving Perception of the Self and Others
Although our effectiveness as communicators is determined in part by our perceptual abilities, we rarely consider how to increase the accuracy of our perceptions. Focus on mastering and maintaining these skills as you work to eliminate ineffective behaviors.
Understand perception is personally based.
Become aware of your role in perception, recognize that you have biases, and acknowledge that you don’t have a corner on the truth market. Doing this increases the probability that your perceptions will provide you with accurate information. It also is important to be willing to review, revise, and update your perceptions.
Watch yourself in action.
You can increase your self-awareness by continuing to explore your self-image and your relationship to others. Developing a clear sense of who you are is one of the most worthwhile goals you can set in life. Periodically examine your own self-perceptions—and your self-misconceptions.
Ask how others perceive you.
How others perceive you may be very different from how you perceive yourself. Obtaining information from others can help you assess how realistic your self-concept is. Others who know you well may see strengths in you that you have overlooked, traits you undervalue, or weaknesses you choose to ignore. You don’t need to accept others’ views of you, but keep yourself open to them.
Take your time.
It takes time to process information about yourself, others, or events fairly and objectively. When we act too quickly, we are likely to make careless decisions based on poor judgment. This often is a result of overlooking important clues, making inappropriate or unjustified inferences, and jumping to conclusions. Delaying a response gives you an opportunity to check or verify your perceptions.
Commit to self-growth.
As you move from yesterday through today and into tomorrow, your self is in constant transition. Try not to let your view of yourself today prevent you from adapting to meet the demands of changing circumstances and conditions. Uncover the vibrant, flexible, and dynamic qualities of you.
Thought is the talk which the soul has with itself.
Plato
Complete This Chapter 3 Checklist
3.1 I can define and explain the process of perception. □Perception is the process of selecting, organizing, subjectively interpreting, remembering, and responding to sensory data in a way that enables us to make sense of ourselves and our world.
3.2 I can describe the nature of self-concept. □Self-concept is the entire collection of attitudes and beliefs you hold about who you are. It is the mental picture you have of yourself. Self-concept, which influences all aspects of behavior, can be positive or negative, accurate or inaccurate. You are not born with a self-concept. Rather, it is shaped by your environment and those around you.
3.3 I can describe the various ways self-concept affects behavior. □Based on our self-concept, we ascribe reasons for behavior. Excessive self-esteem can lead to unrealistically high self-appraisals and problematic behavior, but people with normally high self-esteem tend to be happier and less influenced by their peers.
3.4 I can describe the factors affecting self-concept and outlook. □We become different selves as we move from one set of conditions to another. Resilience and grit, self-understanding, and expectations (including self-fulfilling prophecies) affect our self-concept and outlook.
3.5 I can explain how to use life scripts, the Johari window, and impression management to develop self-awareness. □Self-concept changes and improves with self-awareness. Understanding the life scripts you employ that lead to success or failure and using the Johari window can facilitate improved self-concept. The Johari window helps to identify the open, blind, hidden, and unknown areas of yourself. When we create a positive image of ourselves to influence what others think of us and how they perceive us, we are practicing impression management.
3.6 I can identify common perceptual barriers. □By becoming aware of your role in perception, by recognizing that you have biases, and acknowledging the limiting effects of first impressions and stereotypes, you can increase perceptual accuracy. Perception also is improved by not taking perceptual shortcuts, including being careful not to stereotype others in ways that promote prejudice and prevent you from seeing the uniqueness in every individual. Also of import is that we not act with too much certainty or too quickly, not think we know it all, not place unnecessary restrictions on problem solving, and not make unjustified
