at a suburban Detroit airport those two words precipitated a crisis. A microphone happened to be on when an individual aboard a corporate jet greeted the co-pilot. Air traffic controllers on the airport’s control tower heard the word hijack. The police, the SWAT team, and the FBI were alerted. The plane was ordered to return to the tower.14
People often think they understand each other, when, in fact, they miss each other’s meaning. This pattern of miscommunication is called bypassing, because meanings pass by each other.
There are two main kinds of bypassing.15 The first occurs when people use different words to represent the same thing but are unaware that they are both talking about the same thing. Imagine two politicians arguing vehemently over welfare policies. One holds that their city’s welfare program should be “overhauled,” whereas the other believes that “minor changes” should be made. Eventually they realize the first politician’s overhaul is actually equivalent to the second politician’s minor changes.
The second and more common type of bypassing occurs when people give different meanings to the same word or phrase. In such cases people appear to be agreeing when they substantially disagree. For example, imagine you are on a hike in the woods with a friend when your friend suddenly says, “Bear to the right.” You run to the left, hoping to avoid an encounter with what you believe is a big brown bear, when all your friend was actually doing was telling you to turn right.
Developing an awareness that bypassing can occur when you communicate is a first step in preventing it from needlessly complicating your relationships. If you believe it is possible for your listener to misunderstand you, then take the time you need to ensure that your meanings for words overlap. To avoid bypassing, you must be “person-minded” instead of “word-minded.” Remind yourself that your words may generate unpredictable or unexpected reactions in others. Trying to anticipate those reactions will help you prevent communication problems.
Labeling: Mixing Up Words and Things
Sometimes we forget that people, not words, make meanings. When this happens, we pay too much attention to labels and too little attention to reality. We can approach this phase of our study of meaning by considering the problem of labels and how strongly they influence us.
How important are labels in our culture? Consider this: A judge ruled that an individual could not change his name to a number because doing so would be totalitarian and an offense to human dignity. What does a number, as opposed to a name, signify? Would we change if our names were changed?16
We display an intensional orientation when we let words or labels fool or blind us. When we focus on what a label really represents, we display an extensional orientation.
Our name-brand society is a testament to the power of labels to alter perceptions of value. Recent tests, demonstrating how advertising can trick the taste buds of young children, revealed that anything tastes better to them—even carrots, milk, and apple juice—if wrapped in paper with the McDonald’s label. Labeling is known in marketing jargon as branding and appears to have the ability to physically alter perceptions of taste.17
Career Builder: “The Name Game”
In your opinion, could your name have anything to do with your chances of succeeding in your chosen career? Could the appellation used to represent a group function similarly?
What does a name do? Your name identifies you. It also distinguishes you from others. Your name is part of your identity. The question is: Does a name reveal any other pertinent information? The fact is that others will make assumptions about us based solely on our names.
Names have been shown to influence whether or not an employer chooses to interview or hire a potential employee. Such implicit bias is particularly harmful to people with unusual sounding names, especially non-Whites.18 Passing judgment on someone’s potential to succeed based solely on her or his name is one harmful name-game effect.19
Another harmful name-game effect involves having a name that stereotypically matches the gender of the job for which you are applying. Some first names, for example, suggest your sex and ethnicity and even perhaps your age and personality. College students demonstrated their own implicit bias when asked to predict what careers job applicants with feminine- and masculine-sounding names were most likely to succeed in, indicating that those with masculine-sounding names would most likely be successful in stereotypically masculine occupations such as plumbing and construction, as compared to predicting success in the nursing or child-care field for those who had feminine-sounding names.20
1 Why do we place such a premium on names?
2 To what extent, if any, have you found your reaction to a person shaped by his or her name?
3 What if your own name is an unusual one? How do you imagine it will affect your career opportunities and success?
4 What if you’re not applying for a position that is associated closely with your gender? Would you change your name or use just your first and middle initials in lieu of your whole name on your application?
5 Do you believe that if you altered your name and it was discovered by others that they would view you as competing fairly or cheating? Why?
6 What do you see as a viable solution to the name game?
In the effort to avoid such gender effects, genderless words are increasingly substituted for gendered ones, including Latinx (representing anyone in North America with roots in Latin America—male, female, or gender-nonconforming) and Chicanx (representing anyone of Mexican descent). Some prefer using these words in place of the masculine Latino and Chicano because they see them as a means of removing the machismo in the culture and the language, as well as a means of empowering others.21
Polarization: The Missing Middle
Polarization is the use of either–or language that causes us to perceive and speak about the world in extremes. If you think about it, the English language encourages these false dichotomies, or choices. Even though most people are not beautiful or ugly, tall or short, fat or thin, for you or against you, the English language has few words descriptive of the middle positions. How does polarized language affect your ability to express yourself clearly?
Can you fill in the opposites for each of the following words?
Conservative
Fat
Happy
Bold
Brave
Tall
Next, try filling in two or more words between each pair of opposites. That’s more difficult, isn’t it? It’s harder for us to find words that express all possibilities, rather than the extremes. Because polarizing words fail to reflect the vast middle, they do not represent reality. Instead, they emphasize artificial divisions.
Evasive and Emotive Language
Frequently, our reaction to a person or event is totally changed by words. If we are not
