could it be that God
used a different rod,
and that’s why we have no baculum?
Genesis 2:22
I’ll give you a minute. Go ahead and look it up. . .
Eat My Dust!
The literalists insist we must
take the Bible at its word, or bust,
but it makes little sense
to get mad and incensed
asserting snakes actually eat dust.
Genesis 3:14
God Doesn’t Like Vegetarians
Cain brought an off’ring agrarian
while Abel came with fresh carrion.
God chose Abe’s, of the two,
so I think that it’s true:
God’s biased ‘gainst vegetarians.
Genesis 4:3–4
Keep it in the Family
East of Eden, to the Land of Nod,
went the fugitive, Cain, marked by God;
it was there that he wed
and took his wife to bed,
but if she’s his sis, this story’s flawed!
Genesis 4:17
The Song of the Sword
Lamech said to his wives something bold,
“I am a killer, my blood is cold,
for I am better than Cain,
and if I am slain
I’ll be avenged seventy-seven fold!”
Genesis 4:23–24
The Origins of the Nephilim
Now the Sons of God were observing
Earth girls with figures that were curving;
they decided to mate,
an act that sealed their fate.
God said, “Of wrath they’re now deserving.”
Genesis 6:1–4
Noah’s Wife
It’s an old joke and very well known,
I think it’s funny, it gets a groan.
Tell me now, without strife
the name of Noah’s wife.
Here’s the punch line: his wife’s name was Joan.
Genesis 6:18
Joan of ark. . . get it? Joan of Arc. Groan.
Noah’s Ark
I wonder how Noah did build it,
that ark, and how the animals fit,
and who fed them each day
with those great bales of hay,
and who shoveled the elephant shit?
Genesis 7:1–5
Noah Was an Angry Drunk
Now may a curse be upon Canaan
for what his father, my son, has done;
he saw me passed out drunk,
naked and in full funk:
so let him be slave to everyone.
Genesis 9:20–25
A Fable
Don’t be offended by the label,
but I think the Tower of Babel,
as Genesis describes,
just can’t be made to jibe
with history. It is a fable.
Genesis 11:1–9
Blessing the Sons of Abraham
When consid’ring the Arab and Jew
it is very important that you
recall without distress
that the Lord God did bless
Abram’s sons—Isaac and Ishmael too.
Genesis 17:20; 25:11
That’s No Excuse, Lot
The people of Sodom were rotters,
committed to rape and to slaughters.
But e’en with their abuse
there is still no excuse
for Lot to offer up his daughters.
Genesis 19:1–8
Lot’s Wife
Leaving the town, she came to a halt.
Should we blame her and say it’s her fault?
For curiosity
to see atrocity
some of us should be turned into salt.
Genesis 19:24–26
Biblical Kink
Lot, after leaving Sodom and Zoar
lived in caves with his daughters, both whores.
The girls plied him with drink
then, with biblical kink,
conceived Israel’s enemies’ ancestors.
Genesis 19:30–38
Abraham Got Lucky
God said to Abraham, “kill your son,
your
