to make an ark for her son Moses
is not a good excuse
for the continued use
of that foul font by the rest of us.
Exodus 2:3
They’ll Take the Credit, but Will they Accept the Blame?
The rulers will take credit, no doubt
for good that happens under their clout:
Pharaoh’s daughter sent her
maid into the river
then made the claim, “I drew Moses out.”
Exodus 2:5, 10
Slow of Speech and Tongue
The flames in the bush were aflutter
when Moses first heard God’s voice utter
the command to go speak,
but Moses said, “I’m weak
and I st- st- st- st-. . . can’t speak well.”
Exodus 3:2; 4:10
First! Or Maybe not. . .
In the time of Adam, so they say,
people began to call on Yahweh,
and right up to Moses,
who wrongly supposes,
he was first to use the name that way.
Exodus 6:2–3; Genesis 4:26; 15:7; 27:20
Do Not Have Sexual Relations with your Father’s Sister
Hey, hey wait! There’s something amiss here:
Amram married his father’s sister,
but by Torah you can’t
copulate with your aunt,
even to conceive Moses, mister!
Exodus 6:20; Leviticus 18:12
Not Helping
Egyptian magicians served their king
by each of the plagues reproducing,
snakes and blood, frogs as well
which caused Pharaoh to yell,
“Dammit, you guys! This isn’t helping!”
Exodus 7:11–12, 22; 8:3
Pull My Finger
It is rare that the phrase is invoked,
but when “the finger of God’s” provoked
lice is formed up from dust,
the law in stone is thrust,
and demons of Beelzebub get poked.
Exodus 8:192; 31:18; Deuteronomy 9:10; Luke 11:19–20
Yam Suph
On this point I’d like to intercede,
make the correction the Bible needs;
in Hebrew it’s Yam Suph,
but a translator’s goof
changed the Sea to Red instead of Reeds.
Exodus 10:19
To Roast or To Boil?
The priestly author insists, madam,
that we roast and not boil the lamb,
but Deuteronomy’s
author quite disagrees,
‘boil it,’ he says, ‘roasting be damned.’
Exodus 12:9; Deuteronomy 16:7
The verb used in Deuteronomy 16:7 is translated in most every other instance as “boiled” but is deliberately changed by some translations to “cooked” or even “roasted” in this verse to bring it into line with the explicit prohibition on boiling the Passover lamb found in Exodus 12: 9. Meanwhile, 2 Chronicles 35: 13 sees King Josiah roasting and boiling the Passover lamb in order to keep both forms of the command, and the Greek Septuagint translation of Deuteronomy 16: 7 has both, “you shall boil and roast and eat it.”
Flesh Pots
Their flight to the desert was complete
but the Hebrews had nothing to eat,
so they wept and they cried,
“If only we had died
in Egypt where we had potted meat!”
Exodus 16:3
Maybe it’s Better not To Know
Manna came at night, but what was it?
No one really knows, we must admit,
but some have suggested
that what was ingested
was the residue of insect spit.
Exodus 16:14–15
That’s What You Call an Anachronism
Israel in Sin was hungry, you bet.
So God fed them with manna, no sweat.
This event they did mark,
putting some in the Ark;
only problem: there weren’t no Ark yet.
Exodus 16:33–34; Exodus 37
Like a Rolling Stone
Rephidim’s rock, so it is written,
followed Israel like a lost kitten;
the rock, as would behove
did pursue out of love
for by Moses it had been smitten.
Exodus 17:1–7
This one is a little complicated to explain but here goes:
