I see this in my kids, when they feel down about something. A simple, loving touch on the shoulder, or a few words of encouragement is all it really takes to help them feel happier, more confident, and ready to take on whatever is getting them down.
Empathy is more than a powerful emotion. I believe it’s an important life skill, one that everyone should practise. Taking the time to understand each other and our feelings can make a very big difference in the world.
[no image in epub file]
10
Dai Manuel’s Whole Life Fitness Manifesto
Of course, I’d always apologize when I went home to Christie and my girls. I’d acknowledge that I wasn’t the dad or husband I aspired to be, and ask for their forgive-ness. And until they felt ready to forgive me, I wasn’t myself.
My family bond is the mortar between the bricks and tiles of my house—and I’m their wall, too.
Christie and I now have a rule in our home, and I encourage you to adopt it in yours. Our family mantra is, “Fight fast; make up faster!” We might disagree and even argue once in a while, but we make a point of getting it all out on the table, leav-ing nothing to chance or second guesses. We strive to get to the understanding and agreement quickly, and move on. This has worked wonders for us, and I know it can help you, too. Just try it and see how it affects the quality of your relationships. If I’m wrong, so be it. (But let’s not fight about it… lol.)
Faith
For many people, the word faith is synonymous with God and religion, but my defi-nition is much broader. Faith is the underlying principle of believing in something beyond yourself. This could be as simple as a belief in the essential goodness of humankind, or a sense of inter-connectedness with all living things. It’s this spirit, this positive driving force and sense of purpose that fuels your courage as well as your optimism in life.
The meaning that we make of our everyday lives is what gives us a sense of direc-tion, which is so crucial to feeling fulfilled. You wouldn’t jump into your car and drive without a destination in mind. The same can be said of our lives when we make deci-sions by default, without giving them much thought. Doesn’t it make sense to be more conscious about what we are doing and where we are going?
My sense of direction comes from my desire to create positive energy and help people. I have faith that other people feel the same way, wanting to be part of a movement to eliminate, or at least reduce, stress.
I take a leaf out of my daughters’ book. Christie and I have raised them to have a positive mindset, which has seemed to help them make new friends quickly. When we take them to the park, they’re open and friendly toward the other kids because they
Surrounding ourselves with quality people is key to my family.
11
whole life fitness
expect to find some goodness there. Why can’t adults exude this type of positivity more often?
Studies have shown that when we are highly focused on one thing, we often miss out on noticing the unexpected. At times this selectiv-ity prevents us from seeing some of the most wondrous sights right under our noses: the vibrant yellow hues of a daffodil; the fiery reds of a rose bush in bloom; the baby duck in tow behind its mother and siblings; or simply the grass blades bending in the wind. These are all little miracles in and of themselves. What if we could focus on seeing the positive in others and in the world around us? How would that affect our lives?
Take The Invisible Gorilla, a book based on the work of researchers Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons. They found that when people focus so hard on some-thing, they become blind to everything else, including the most unexpected—even when it’s right in front of their eyes! This phenomenon is called “intentional blind-ness,” and once developed, it becomes easy for a person to miss out on little details. In truth, I think that many of us fail to take notice of life’s amazing landscapes because we are too focused on the ground beneath our feet, or at times, the devices glued to our hands. It’s time to lift our heads and take it all in.
Finances
Financial stability is a cornerstone of any happy life. Whether you have a little or a lot of money, living within your means gives you security and peace of mind. For most of us, buying the things we want as soon as we want them brings short-term satisfac-tion, but living above our means puts a lot of strain on our lives. When you’re buried under debt, you’re carrying a load that relentlessly weighs on you both physically and psychologically. How can anyone relax and be happy when one of the walls of their house is crumbling? It’s impossible!
Paying attention to your finances, and being realistic about what you really need to spend money on are two ways to be financially fit.
Ask yourself how you want to live when you reach retirement. Would you like to travel around the world? Spend the summers golfing in Australia and the winters skiing in the Swiss Alps? The range of options available to you will vary based on your
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change” —Albert Einstein
12
Dai Manuel’s Whole Life Fitness Manifesto
financial health in your golden years, but the more financially fit you are now, the more golden those years will be.
Speaking from personal experience, it wasn’t until I commit-ted to a “forced savings” model that I started amassing funds. I set up a savings account with automatic monthly transfers, and in 12 years, I was amazed at how much I had put aside.
Of course, I believe that consulting with a financial plan-ner is the best way to go, as I’m a big believer in working with industry experts for assistance in improving the areas of my life where I know I need help. It’s beyond my area of expertise, or the scope of this book, to offer anyone financial advice. But, as a personal lifestyle coach, I do ask my clients how they think of their future. That’s because you want to increase your ability to live a life full of yes opportunities. (By the way, if you are looking for some great resources to help you with your financial fitness, check out the recommended reading list on my blog.)
Fun
Each strong wall contributes to the fun we experience! That’s why fun is the roof in the “house” of the five Fs. Ensuring your family, faith, finances and fitness involve fun is key to enjoy-ing your life, and moving through life with a fun-loving atti-tude is only possible when all of the other elements are strong and healthy.
Fun can be a great motivator to move your body, too. For example, in Stockholm, Sweden, a public staircase was modified to look and sound like a piano. People “played” the “notes” as they climbed or descended the staircase. In this experiment, more than 60 per cent of participants chose to climb the piano rather than take the escalator, just for the fun of it! And in Moscow, during the Sochi Winter Olympics, commuters were given free rides on the subway
