perfect life, so I struggled hard with this traumatic event. Suddenly, all I wanted was to be wanted. At that time, only one other child at my school had separated parents, which added extra social stigma to my experience.
Leading our Sunday Funday tribe is a big part of fulfilling my personal why.
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discover your personal why
I withdrew from friends, family, social outings—life expe-riences—and tried to fill the void I felt within, which mainly involved eating. Our family dinners were well-rounded, but outside of mealtimes, I was a junk-food junkie. Food was my crutch. Very quickly, I developed a bad habit of reaching for more snacks than I should, choosing burgers, fries and other garbage that barely landed in my stomach before I wanted more. In hindsight, I can see that I was making choices without really understanding why I made them. I was on autopilot, just acting on an impulse to soothe my turbulent emotions.
I certainly didn’t offload those extra calories with anything even approaching an active lifestyle. Blame it on too much time playing video games, too much lounging in front of the tv, combined with a lack of education around where my sedentary lifestyle was heading.
By the time I reached puberty, my frame—then 167 cm (5 ft 6 in) in height—weighed in at about 90 kg (200 lbs), with a 96-cm (38-in) waist.
The usual emotional and physical upheavals of adolescence made the situation even worse. As anyone who is or has been overweight knows, there’s a stigma that comes with being large. People can be cruel, but teenagers downright vicious in their ridicule. My peers found it hard to even look me in the eye and I was well aware of their snickering—behind my back, and even right in my face. I understood; I avoided looking at my own body when I stepped out of the shower. I wore baggy clothing in an attempt to camouflage my protruding belly. And shorts? I never wore them, no matter how hot the weather might be.
I said no to everything. Attend a pool party where I would have to wear a bathing suit? No way! Participate in gym class? Out of the question. Go to a school dance? No thanks. I’d simply avoid anything physical, leveraging my asthma as an excuse to opt out.
Through these lifestyle choices, I soon became freighted with low self-esteem. I approached rock bottom, feeling depressed and isolated. I can admit now that I even had suicidal thoughts.
And then one Sunday morning, I decided to do something that I usually avoided: I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Up to that point, I was able to pretend that things weren’t as bad as they were, because I wasn’t looking the problem in the eye. Deny, deny, deny. Facing up, however, I broke down in tears. I had never felt so low
How Active Are Our Kids?
Physical inactivity is now identified as the 4th leading risk factor for global mortality.The WHO Physical Activity Guidelines recommend that kids from 5 to 17 years old should get at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity every day. What’s unfortunate is that many children in first world countries aren’t achieving this minimum.
SOURCE: World Health Organization
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Dai Manuel’s Whole Life Fitness Manifesto
in my life. At that moment, I experienced an epiphany: I really didn’t like where my life was going.
I knew that deep down, I enjoyed life. At least, I had enjoyed it before, and I wanted to enjoy it again. I faced a simple choice: to remain this way forever, or to do something about it. So I picked myself up and deliberately shifted my poor me atti-tude. In that moment, I recalibrated my motivation. I reasoned my way to a decision. And then I made a change.
I hit the library and pored over books on health, nutrition and fitness. (Yes, I did all of this pre-Google!) I started eating a little less and moving a little more. I started slowly with walking daily, then mountain biking. I strapped on my cassette player (yes I’m dating myself here), with a tape playing on endless loop (A side to B side to A and so on), I’d ride until I had exhausted both the tape and myself. Only then would I would ride home.
I added more and more daily activity incrementally, eventually joining a gym. Over 14 months, I was transformed. This time, adolescence itself was on my side as I shot up to over 185 cm (6 ft 1 in)—a growth spurt that doubtlessly helped to burn some calories! My weight didn’t change that much, but I saw body fat melt away as new lean muscle mass appeared. Now, with a better understanding of the science and biology of health, I know that my physical changes came from a combination of cardiovascular and resistance training. I strengthened my body, increasing my lean muscle, which cranked up my metabolism (my body’s natural furnace). I felt stronger, healthier and more confident in my abilities to tackle whatever physical obstacles stood in my way. Rather than saying no to pool parties and gym class, I started asking people to join me in activities. I felt good. I was alive.
I’ve never gone back to that state of obesity, but I don’t forget what it was like. This helps me to relate to my clients who face weight challenges. I know how it feels when people stare at you. I know what it’s like to be out of breath from climbing a flight of stairs, or to have dif-ficulty with something as simple as tying your shoes. When you’re struggling physically, some-times it’s the little things that seem the hardest to do. If this describes you right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and that it doesn’t have to stay this way.
I understand what it’slike to struggle withexcess weight becauseI’ve been there myself.
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discover your personal why
Phase Two Of Finding My Why
In the years that followed, everything seemed to go in the right direction. In 2001, I met my life partner, Christie, and we had two wonderful daughters. I achieved success in my business life as Chief Operating Officer and founding partner of Fitness Town, a chain of fitness equipment stores. I also became a Level 1 Coach of the popular strength and conditioning pro-gram, CrossFit.
But I reached a pivotal point at age 32, when, despite hav-ing a wonderful family, strong physical fitness and some profes-sional success, I felt untethered. I had become obsessed with physical fitness, and while that meant I had achieved my goal weight, I hadn’t done anything to heal myself emotionally and spiritually. There were underlying issues that I hadn’t dealt with, so I strayed from the very things that should have brought me the most happiness.
If I look at my life in terms of the five Fs, I can easily see why my house was crum-bling at the time. I was physically and financially fit, but I wasn’t paying enough atten-tion to the state of my faith or my family. I was a fractured person on a downward spiral, having little fun, and this cast a shadow over my entire life. I was depressed and disconnected, and felt like I was headed for a midlife crisis—and I wasn’t anywhere near midlife!
Even though I had lost all that extra weight as a teenager, I was still burdened by shame and guilt. I still saw myself as unattractive and unlovable. So when I started becoming successful, I binged on other people’s attention. I craved validation from others, because I had felt deprived of approval for so long. I neglected and disre-spected both my family and myself.
It
