we had in Greece was with a man named Kyriakos. After visiting the grave of a deceased relative in a small Cretan village, we were heading back to our car when a man approached us and, without even knowing who we were except that we were strangers in his village, invited us into his home for lunch. We protested, saying we had to be on our way but, as is the usual response, he ignored us and kept grabbing at our sleeves, pulling us into his home—gently, of course!
We relented and entered through the weather-beaten doors into the courtyard of his home. In the entrance was an old oven, which probably had served as the main cooking area for a century or two. Beside the oven was a table with several chairs where Kyriakos motioned for us to sit. Once seated, he and his wife served us raki and a wonderful feast of marinated meat, grilled potatoes, sliced cucumbers, fresh bread, and chocolate cookies.
Kyriakos took a keen interest in why we were at the gravesite and how we could be related in some way to the members of his village. When our collective attempts to determine our relationship with the deceased relative stumbled due to our collective broken English and Greek, he simply picked up his cell phone and called a friend in Athens who spoke many languages and could easily translate our conversation for us. After thirty minutes, we were all satisfied that we had figured out the family tree, and then it was time for us to continue on our journey. We couldn’t leave his house without receiving a souvenir bottle of his homemade wine. And, of course, our visit wasn’t complete until we also had a stop at his brother’s house for a bottle of his homemade wine too. Again, we had experienced the true meaning of Greek hospitality firsthand.
Throughout our travels we were invited into many people’s homes to share simple meals or were given food to ensure we did not go hungry. Penelope in Pyrgos, Santorini, made sure we continued on our way with a large bag of cookies. An older woman in the village of Chromonastiri, Crete, first offered us raki, then water, then a cookie, and then made sure we went on our way with an orange, which just happened to be the biggest orange we had ever seen. In another village, Stelios made sure we had a drink of freshly squeezed fruit juice before we continued on our journey and Costas, who runs one of the oldest bakeries in the old town of Rethymno, made sure we didn’t leave without two of his extraordinary cookies, masterly fashioned into the shape of swans.
The concept of hospitality is deeply rooted in the rituals that are expressions of an authentic relationship between a host and guests or strangers based on generosity, curiosity, and friendship. This concept also extends to Greek restaurants, where going to a restaurant is like being welcomed into a Greek home; they want to ensure first that you feel comfortable and then you will eat! We observed that many of the Greek waiters spent time talking with their customers and also made sure everyone’s glass was always full. The restaurant manager or owner visits each table, greeting everyone and connecting with them on a human level. (Although, of course, we have seen this happen in restaurants in our hometown in the United States, it often looks like it is done as a chore rather than with pleasure.) Unlike many other places where your dinner is rushed and you are handed the bill at the end of finishing your last bite, if not before, the attitude in Greece is very different. “Sit and enjoy your dinner, don’t rush, let your food digest. Enjoy your time with us,” said many waiters to us.
One of our favorite family-run tavernas is the Acropolis restaurant, located near the Aegean Pearl Hotel in Rethymno, Crete. The owner of the restaurant, Andreas, is a real character, welcoming everyone in from the street and, once people are seated, offering them a raki in the true form of Cretan hospitality. It’s a family affair with his son, Dimitrios, helping with the customers and his lovely wife, Stella, supervising the cooking in the kitchen. Andreas makes everyone feel welcome as he rests for a while at each table, sitting to take orders and connecting with people as friends.
“We have everything,” he says with a twinkle in his eye, meaning Stella will try to make anything you order or perhaps something close to what you order. They aim to please. Andreas seems genuinely happy to see you in his restaurant and on certain nights, he and Dimitrios stop serving for a while and play traditional Cretan music on their instruments. If you wave to get his attention to get your bill, he will simply wave back to you! If you ask for your bill, he will bring you dessert—melon or grapes or another raki on ice to entice you to stay a little longer.
“Sit and enjoy your dinner, like you would in your own house,” says Andreas. Of course, we always choose to stay a little longer!
Unique Spirit
Hospitality involves connecting with the unique spirit of each person. Importantly, it involves taking a genuine interest in the person, versus treating him or her as a transaction or as someone from whom you can gain something. It’s saying, “I care about you as an interesting human being,” not “This is what you can do for me.”
We have stayed at the Aegean Pearl Hotel in Rethymno many times, not only because of the luxurious surroundings, modern amenities, and delicious food but also, most of all, because it feels like our home away from home. A hotel can be just a hotel, a building with beds, but the Aegean Pearl is an experience mainly due to the hospitality of the staff, led by Eugenios Fragiadakis, a true manifestation of the Cretan Greek spirit.
We first met Eugenios early one morning as we observed him going table by table through the dining room, chatting with the guests. We assumed he was asking how they liked the breakfast or if the eggs were cooked to their satisfaction. It wasn’t until he stopped by our table that we realized that Eugenios was very special.
“Where will you be going today?” he asked us, connecting in his distinctly humanistic way. We explained that we had heard of a small village in the mountains that we wanted to visit but weren’t sure if we knew the correct name. Promptly, Eugenios asked to see our map and proceeded to trace a route for us to the very village we wanted to go to.
Each day we watched Eugenios connect with the other guests and each day he asked us how our travels had been, suggesting new places for us to visit and, of course, recommending that today, as always, would be a good day for a swim in the sea. Eugenios is one of those people who genuinely takes an interest in other people, who honors the unique spirit of each person he meets, and who truly embodies the Greek spirit of hospitality.
The spirit by which someone offers hospitality is important. We all know the signs when someone cares: They look deeply into our eyes and take time to connect with us. They not only talk but listen, and they don’t rush the conversation. We feel genuine interest and meaningfully engaged after having had a conversation with them!
At work, it is also important for leaders and managers to see themselves as “hosts” if they really wish to create a more human-centered, meaning-focused workplace. By taking a genuine interest in others, by understanding what is important to them, by enriching them and making them feel stronger with every interaction, members of the team will feel like they belong, that they matter, that their work matters, and that their work can be a source of meaning in their lives.
What you do for others, you do for yourself. One good deed leads to another; favors are returned as well as passed forward. When you share the love, you put love into the universe and, in turn, you share in this universal love. This is the cycle of hospitality that is an integral part of the Greek DNA.
TRADITIONAL VILLAGE WISDOM
You must give before you can receive. However, many of the Greeks we met were more altruistic in their beliefs about honoring the human spirit through hospitality. They believed in giving something without the expectation of return and without the expectation of any benefit or reward. They were simply sharing what they had, helping others. They gave
