All The Wrong Places. G.I.F.T.D

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      It caught Boon off guard, because even when they were a couple, he’d only heard her tell him she loved him less than 10 times. Boon was lost in his thoughts, but didn’t want her to feel like he didn’t care himself.

      “Is that right?” he asked, almost sounding serious.

      Taz mushed him and said, “I’m for real, boy.”

      Boon was trapped; he didn’t want to tell her the truth, which was that he loved her too. Hell, he loved every girlfriend he had ever had. Now, he had several “partners”; but the girlfriends, he actually gave them love.

      “I love you too, you sexy ma’fucka, you,” he said, stroking her chin, as she leaned in and gave him a long, deep kiss - tongue and all.

      ***

      “Get yo’ weak-ass up, nigga!” a man’s voice boomed. Boon was knocked out sleeping, but slowly began to wake up. He thought he was dreaming, until he felt the sudden thump against his head and the agony that followed it directly after.

      “Ah, fuck! Man, what the fuck is this?” he yelled, as he reached for the now-leaking side of his scalp.

      “You know what the fuck this is. You sit here and shut the fuck up. We take what we want and we leave. Anything short of that, will have a story about your life ending on the news in a couple hours.” The gunman’s voice sounded menacing and deadly serious, as he hovered over Boon.

      As Boon surveyed the room, he saw two other men flipping all of his belongings over. They had already taken down his flat screen. The glass dining room table had been shattered, as well as the abnormally large aquarium. Boon sat there, helplessly, as his fish flopped around on the wet carpet in broken glass and gravel, desperately searching for water. I thought I had moved away from this kind of shit. Boon grimaced at the pain and ringing in his ear.

      One of the other two men in the house grabbed the remaining cash from the Polo slacks Boon had worn last night, and his jewelry off the table. He also grabbed Boon’s cellphone and threw it in the kitchen sink, right before the faucet came on.

      “See, every robbery don’t have to involve killing somebody,” the man hovering over Boon said. Boon still couldn’t really make out much, because of the throbbing headache, but it seemed like he’d make it out of this one alive. The men headed towards the front door to make their exit; and just before the gunman walked out, he turned to Boon and said, “Yo, tell Taz—provided you see her again— that Krumb said, ‘we even’.” He touched his gun to his forehead lightly, in a salute, and walked out without closing the door behind him.

       Brand New

      “Ol’ scandalous-ass bitch!” Boon yelled, after slamming the door and locking it behind him. He hadn’t even realized it, until the masked gunman had brought it to his attention—Taz wasn’t there. His first thought was to call the police, but Boon thought better of it.

      “I can’t report this shit. Snitchin’ ain’t in me and they get buried in Chi-Town,” Boon thought aloud. He looked around his crib at the mess the robbers left. He felt himself getting angrier by the minute. So many different thoughts ran through his mind at once: retaliation, paying someone to whip Taz’s ass, or maybe involving his brothers. He knew he couldn’t involve his brothers, though; they were the ones who’d shared a hearty laugh when Boon found out that Zo’s baby wasn’t his. Boon was so furious that smoke was nearly visible coming from his ears.

      “Fuck everybody!” he yelled in a rage. He went to his bedroom and found his car keys, which were lying on the floor in front of his bedroom window. Before picking them up, he stopped in front of the mirror on his dresser to assess the wound on the side of his head. The bleeding had stopped and the gash was barely visible, due to the dried blood around it. Boon was thankful to have left his wallet in the glove compartment of his car.

      The sun was slowly rising and peeking through the blinds, as Boon was getting dressed in jogging pants and a T-shirt. He was going to the hospital to get sewn up, and then he would go get a new phone. His mind was on his choice of women in his past. None of them turned out to be good for him, not one— except for CiCi. However, CiCi wouldn’t take him back now.

      She knew too much about him and his “skanches,” as she referred to Boon’s lovers. Boon shook his head to clear it and tried to figure out who to call to keep him company at the ER.

      He went into the kitchen and fished his phone out of the sink. Although it was only partially submerged in the water, it was clearly on the fritz. Miraculously, he was able to view the first two contacts in the phone, and he quickly wrote the numbers down. Amerie, whom he had met the night before, was the first one. Ariel, his sister-in-law and Drakus’ wife, was the second. “Hell no,” he muttered, at the thought of calling his brother’s wife; she’d just tell Drakus and he’d alert the entire family. Fuck it, I’ma call CiCi when I get there. He put the wet phone in a Ziploc bag and headed out the door.

      After making sure he got to his car safely, Boon drove to a nearby gas station to use a payphone. He called CiCi three different times and got the voicemail with each attempt. “Dammit!” he yelled, as he slammed the phone back on the hook, without leaving a message. He then dialed Amerie’s number, and much to his surprise, not only did she answer, she sounded wide-awake.

      “Hello?” she said in a tone that seemed to wonder who the hell would be calling her at 6:15 a.m.

      “Sorry to call so early. C-can I speak to Amerie?” Boon stammered, nervously.

      “This is Amerie; who’s calling?” she asked, with the curiosity still evident in her tone.

      “It’s Boon, the gentleman you met at the frat party last night.”

      “Oh! The cutie in the Polo. You don’t waste time, huh?” she teased.

      “I would’ve waited, but I kinda got a li’l situation I need some help wit’ right now.”

      “Like what? Ain’t givin’ you no money, boy,” Amerie said solemnly.

      Boon chuckled. “I got plenty money, baby. That’s the problem though. I got robbed last night and was hit with a pistol. I know this will be a crazy first date, but can you come sit wit’ me while I get stitched up?” Boon asked, pouting, as if she could see him.

      “Oh my God! Are you okay?”

      “I will be, with you there, and some pain medication.”

      “Sure, I’ll come. I was only taking my morning jog. What hospital do I meet you at?” Amerie asked.

      “Cook County,” Boon told her, and she said she’d be there in 20 minutes, at the most.

      By the time he saw Amerie walk into the waiting room, Boon had just signed in. Her tan skin was flawless and she looked perfect with no makeup on at all. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and had on a green and yellow Nike jogging suit that hugged her frame. To complete the outfit, she was wearing matching, green and yellow Nike Huaraches on her feet. Boon’s first thought was that she was an Oregon Ducks fan; his second thought was about how many ways he’d like to peel that jogging suit off and give her the dick.

      “Over here, babe,” Boon waved his hand in the air to let Amerie know where he was seated. It was also a

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