I run my own business, and my brother is director of the loss-prevention division for a high-end clothing chain.
Trisha J. Wooldridge Auburn, Massachusetts
Writer and editor--www.anovelfriend.com
New practice: Schedule a family meeting and put up an open agenda on the fridge. Take a good time for training to teach children a skill.
Challenge: Have faith that your children will choose jobs they can handle. Support them to complete complex tasks you might think are beyond their capability
For discussion or journaling: How are you being different than normal with your children? What positive results are you observing?
A chore guide for every age
Toddlers, 18 months-2 years.
Every task is done with parents. Establish the expectation that their contribution is valued.
Push laundry into the dryer.
Match socks in the laundry basket.
Mop the floor with a parent, dry the floor wearing micro fiber socks.
Dust furniture with a damp rag.
Put toys away and pick up their room and the playroom.
Preschool, 3-5 year olds.
Able to perform some tasks independently, the remainder with parental prompting. Involve them whenever they show interest, such as cooking, hanging out laundry to dry, yard work and cleaning.
Empty wastebaskets in bedrooms and bathrooms.
Assist with simple pet care.
Put away silverware from the dishwasher. Set part of the table.
Recycle one category, such as paper.
Help with everything the family is doing
Give them real tools to use when possible.
Elementary school, 6-11 years old
These are the peak years for establishing a chore routine. They are eager, open and confident towards developing new skills. Encourage them by acknowledging their efforts and letting them stretch to do complex tasks.
Parents do the chores with child until they can do them independently, with prompting. These are the peak years to embed a work ethic.
Empty the whole dishwasher, sweep the kitchen, and set the table.
Make their own lunches and snacks for school.
Take responsibility for homework.
Help do laundry.
Clean up the kitchen after dinner on a team, load the dishwasher, wipe the table, sweep the floor, take out the trash and wash dishes.
Clean a powder room and a part of a bathroom or kitchen.
Pet care.
Stack and move firewood, pick up kindling, shovel snow.
Vacuum and dust a room.
Rake leaves, water plants, wash windows, garden with others.
Perform simple sewing projects and mending.
Take responsibility for their room.
Assist with simple house painting projects.
Middle school, 12-13 years old.
Tweens gain capability. After a brief training, they are able to work independently. Tasks are more enjoyable when done as a family. Their skill level is rapidly expanding.
Do their laundry. Able to do family laundry.
Clean the kitchen after dinner, including scrubbing pots and pans, cleaning stove and sweeping the floor.
Cook simple meals, take responsibility for an aspect of dinner.
Mow the lawn, shovel snow and rake leaves
Repair and maintain computers, bikes and skateboards with help.
Chop and stack wood, start fires in woodstove with supervision.
Babysit family members and neighbors. Pet care.
Clean a full bathroom.
Assist in painting a room, perform light household maintenance.
Work on a team to wash windows, clean a garage or basement, and clean out the fridge.
Do complex sewing and construction projects with assistance.
Work as apprentice for a family business -- for pay.
Keep their bedroom as they choose.
High School, 14-18 years old
Build on their belief they have equal knowledge and ability with parents. Encourage them by getting out of their way and minimize criticism.
Independently perform any of the tasks above.
Teach younger siblings to learn any of the above tasks.
Clean a garage, car, kitchen, fridge, living room, or bedroom.
Go grocery shopping, prepare meals.
Drive siblings and pets places, run errands for parents.
Do complex construction and sewing projects independently.
Do yard work including lawn mowing and snow blowing.
Build fires in woodstove, split wood, and use chainsaw with training.
Learn house and car maintenance, such as how to fix a broken window and change the oil on a vehicle.
Be on the payroll for a family business.
College students and beyond, 18 years old and up.
Make adult-level contributions daily when home. Take on regular responsibility during long stays.
Expect them leave their room clean before they leave for months. Communicate in advance and plan to assist, if necessary.
Cheerfully pull their weight and volunteer
